To capture my love life, or lack thereof...
Cooled things off with two-year man. We're still friends, that's just it...we work best as friends. Oh - and I'm going to the wedding rehearsal and wedding with him. Hopefully I can convince him to go to MJQ afterward, even though that place isn't his style.
Had a vacationship encounter with a fellow that has potential. However, he's made it pretty clear that since he just moved to ATL, he's content in being an attractive, tall, educated guy with good money: READ - Women are doing stupid shit to get his attention and I don't really care to get on their level.
Met a random dude in the hall Monday morning at work. We had a brief introduction and I get a random e-mail from him. First e-mail is to confirm that he had the right person. I had half the mind to say no...but I said yes. Second e-mail was to ask me to lunch. Really? Picking up women in work in such a direct, forward manner. Is that PC? Is that okay? He's not in my group and I would never cross paths with him professionally.
Ran into dude @ work that I previously had a semi-crush on. A birdie told me that he's not so-much into women. Upon this second meeting, I don't understand why I didn't pick that up the first couple of times that I saw him.
5.21.2008
5.20.2008
5.19.2008
Rehearsal Dinner vs. Black Thought
First, if you know who Black Thought is you gained 2 cool points in my book. I'm an Avid "The Roots," fan. Such the fan that I was planning on going to see ?love and Black Thought do a set at MJQ on Friday night. Apparently ?love is going to DJ and play some songs off of the new album. Not quite a concert, but quite awesome. Plus I have an ugly man crush on Black Thought.
Well, the ex and I were just casually talking and he invites me to his brother's wedding rehearsal dinner...and the wedding. I said yes b/c I didn't want to say no. But now I'm kinda freaked out. I wouldn't mind hanging out with him...but a family wedding. It is so intimate and personal. I am already feeling awkward. *bitch relax*.
My favorite The Roots song
Most relevant lines...
Your first impression might be I'm a asshole
Or say I'm sometimey and give people a hassle
Or try to suntouch and put the heat in the capsule
Dog I'm far deeper than that though; I get in the zone
Recognize I'm a rolling stone
No time to lollygag or lounge with scaliwags
Well, the ex and I were just casually talking and he invites me to his brother's wedding rehearsal dinner...and the wedding. I said yes b/c I didn't want to say no. But now I'm kinda freaked out. I wouldn't mind hanging out with him...but a family wedding. It is so intimate and personal. I am already feeling awkward. *bitch relax*.
My favorite The Roots song
Most relevant lines...
Your first impression might be I'm a asshole
Or say I'm sometimey and give people a hassle
Or try to suntouch and put the heat in the capsule
Dog I'm far deeper than that though; I get in the zone
Recognize I'm a rolling stone
No time to lollygag or lounge with scaliwags
5.18.2008
God vs. Tire
Ladies...
say you were in the beginning stages of kicking it with a fellow. chemistry was there, you got along.
well your girlfriend's car gets a flat tire on the street that he lives on, but you're with her and you two would feel more comfortable if a man could either stay with you while AAA came or changed the tire himself. You give him a call asking for his help and he says, "nope, I'm going to church." He doesn't offer any alternatives.
Do you continue to date him?
My take on it...going to church is practice, helping a person out is the game. He's about to be put on the bench...permanently.
say you were in the beginning stages of kicking it with a fellow. chemistry was there, you got along.
well your girlfriend's car gets a flat tire on the street that he lives on, but you're with her and you two would feel more comfortable if a man could either stay with you while AAA came or changed the tire himself. You give him a call asking for his help and he says, "nope, I'm going to church." He doesn't offer any alternatives.
Do you continue to date him?
My take on it...going to church is practice, helping a person out is the game. He's about to be put on the bench...permanently.
Ovaries vs. Brain
I'm contemplating going back to school to get an MBA. How did I come to this conclusion? I'm 27 and have no prospects for a husband which will lead to a child...AKA: The nice little ferry tale life that is sold to you from birth until the present.
So I'm wondering if a B-School personal statement could go something like this: I'm not using my ovaries, so as an alternative, I'm going to use my brain.
I want another accomplishment by the time that I'm 30. If I enroll in the 2009 year, I'll graduate 2 months after my 30th. Then I'll be on my way to making 6 figures. I remember when my first degree was conferred upon me - it was such an overwhelmingly magnificent feeling. I took SO much pride in it. I want that feeling again. I've lost stamina and B-School will reenergize me.
So I'm wondering if a B-School personal statement could go something like this: I'm not using my ovaries, so as an alternative, I'm going to use my brain.
I want another accomplishment by the time that I'm 30. If I enroll in the 2009 year, I'll graduate 2 months after my 30th. Then I'll be on my way to making 6 figures. I remember when my first degree was conferred upon me - it was such an overwhelmingly magnificent feeling. I took SO much pride in it. I want that feeling again. I've lost stamina and B-School will reenergize me.
5.12.2008
5.10.2008
Confession
If I were rich, or married rich (or at least didn't have to work)...I would intensely train for a professional cheerleading squad.
I spent the last hour and a half absorbing the Marking of Dallas Cowboy Cheerleading. I want the body, the beauty, the fun, the recognition. It looks Magical! lol
I spent the last hour and a half absorbing the Marking of Dallas Cowboy Cheerleading. I want the body, the beauty, the fun, the recognition. It looks Magical! lol
5.09.2008
I almost cussed out a person @ work.
Read Envoy Ride first. That's the background to this almost-cuss-out-situation. Characters, White dude = Dasani. Korean chic = Coffeemate. Black girl by way of Jamiaca = Jamaica. Me...Me/Sunfresh.
Manager lady left the audit team Wednesday after lunch. Almost immediately Coffeemate started acting differently. She was casually cussing at the computer, and started bleeping out random out of context thoughts.
For example she'd start telling a story with, "Yeah, Jason and I used to go to the park." Except, Jason was some guy that none of us had ever met nor heard of. So one day I said, "Who is Jason?" Thinking that perhaps I should have known who he is and that my memory was failing me. "Ohh, he's my ex-boyfriend." (from 6 years ago mind you). Another irritating thing that I questioned her on...she said 3 times that we should have stayed in a Westin or Marriott. I'm not here to debate which one is better. We stay in Hiltons because we have a great contract rate and free full service breakfast + free room internet. The first time I explained this to her. The second time I said, "well you're working for the wrong company." Third time, "Why don't you call our Corporate travel agency and see if Westin/Marriott has contracted rates as low as Hilton with full service breakfast and free room internet." WTF. Ok, I digress...the drama comes.
I forget how she transitioned into this comment; however, out of her mouth comes, "She looks Atlantian black." Jamaica and I sit back and get quiet for a moment because we're thinking, "WTF does Atlantian black LOOK like?"
Me: Do I look Atlantian Black?
Coffeemate: No
Jamaica: Do I look Atlantian Black?
Coffeemate: No, you know what I'm trying to say.
Me. No really, I don't.
Coffeemate: SunFresh, you know So-n-So at old firm. She looks Atlantian Black. (Dasani and Jamaica don't know this woman, so they need additional clarification).
Dasani: Does Manager who was here earlier this week look Atlantian Black?
Coffeemate: Yes.
Dasani senses that Jamaica and I are either highly irritated and/or slightly offended and says something in a joking tone. This apparently upsets Coffeemate and then Coffeemate looses her cool.
Coffeemate (directed at Dasani): I'm sick of you interrogating me. You say inappropriate stuff...*rant rant rant* Dasani, see you're just a dumb white boy from ATL_Suburb, Georgia.
The room went dead silent. Dasani didn't repsond because he didn't want to validate her racist comment. Everybody else was in part shocked not knowing what to say. We were in the process of packing up for the day and in one car was Dasani, Jamaica and me.
Dasani was baffled as to what exactly he said to set her off.
The more I thought about it, the more offended and PISSED I was. Had she been a white girl calling a black man dumb, her ass would've been fired. In my mind, it doesn't matter that the guy is white. Her comment was absolutely unacceptable and in most cases would be grounds for immediately dismissal. I apologized to the white guy for having had to hear such a racist comment. He's a pretty level-headed dude and said that he wasn't as much concerned about the racist reference, as much as what did he do to piss her off.
That evening we realized that we HAD to confront her. Her rant in part was her feeling not as welcomed at a new job as she would like, and that we constantly questioned comments that she said. So we decided to apologize for that. So next morning we say, can we talk to you.
Jamaica apologized for anything that she may have said to make Coffeemate feel uncomfortable. Dasani asks what he did to upset her. (apparently she felt like we collectively interrogated her and took out all her frustrations on him, which made him feel more at ease).
Me: I'm sorry if you feel like I did something to make you feel uncomfortable and I can understand that you were upset and told Dasani about things that he personally did to upset you; however, it was absolutely UNACCEPTABLE to call him a dumb white boy from ATL_Suburb. I mean, even I was extremely offended when you said that.
Coffeemate: I didn't say that.
The entire room: YES YOU DID.
Me:Furthermore, saying racist type comments is grounds for being fired.
Coffeemate: SunFresh, you should know me better than to think...
Me: Really I don't know you.
Coffeemate: Well, I don't have a racist bone in my body. I've NEVER had this type of reaction from people at old-firm.
Me: Well, one thing to learn from this experience, is to not call anybody a dumb white person. I suggest you be very thoughtful/careful when referring to other races.
Coffeemate: I've never had this type of reaction. But okay. I will NEVER say anything about white/black or whatever type people.
Me: I think that is a good idea.
Coffeemate: I didn't think you all would talk about this. It happened yesterday, I've moved on.
Us: Well, after you made those racist comments, we all felt unresolved.
Weird thing, after this discussion, she was distant yet somewhat friendly. The CRAZY chic denied the situation and went on like nothing happened. The fact that she discounted her blow up and denied saying the racist comment leads me to believe that she is crazy and to not associate with her.
Questions for the peanut gallery:
1) Would you inform a manager about the situaiton?
2) If you were Dasani, would you want to work on another project with her?
3) WTF does a black Atlantian look like?
Manager lady left the audit team Wednesday after lunch. Almost immediately Coffeemate started acting differently. She was casually cussing at the computer, and started bleeping out random out of context thoughts.
For example she'd start telling a story with, "Yeah, Jason and I used to go to the park." Except, Jason was some guy that none of us had ever met nor heard of. So one day I said, "Who is Jason?" Thinking that perhaps I should have known who he is and that my memory was failing me. "Ohh, he's my ex-boyfriend." (from 6 years ago mind you). Another irritating thing that I questioned her on...she said 3 times that we should have stayed in a Westin or Marriott. I'm not here to debate which one is better. We stay in Hiltons because we have a great contract rate and free full service breakfast + free room internet. The first time I explained this to her. The second time I said, "well you're working for the wrong company." Third time, "Why don't you call our Corporate travel agency and see if Westin/Marriott has contracted rates as low as Hilton with full service breakfast and free room internet." WTF. Ok, I digress...the drama comes.
I forget how she transitioned into this comment; however, out of her mouth comes, "She looks Atlantian black." Jamaica and I sit back and get quiet for a moment because we're thinking, "WTF does Atlantian black LOOK like?"
Me: Do I look Atlantian Black?
Coffeemate: No
Jamaica: Do I look Atlantian Black?
Coffeemate: No, you know what I'm trying to say.
Me. No really, I don't.
Coffeemate: SunFresh, you know So-n-So at old firm. She looks Atlantian Black. (Dasani and Jamaica don't know this woman, so they need additional clarification).
Dasani: Does Manager who was here earlier this week look Atlantian Black?
Coffeemate: Yes.
Dasani senses that Jamaica and I are either highly irritated and/or slightly offended and says something in a joking tone. This apparently upsets Coffeemate and then Coffeemate looses her cool.
Coffeemate (directed at Dasani): I'm sick of you interrogating me. You say inappropriate stuff...*rant rant rant* Dasani, see you're just a dumb white boy from ATL_Suburb, Georgia.
The room went dead silent. Dasani didn't repsond because he didn't want to validate her racist comment. Everybody else was in part shocked not knowing what to say. We were in the process of packing up for the day and in one car was Dasani, Jamaica and me.
Dasani was baffled as to what exactly he said to set her off.
The more I thought about it, the more offended and PISSED I was. Had she been a white girl calling a black man dumb, her ass would've been fired. In my mind, it doesn't matter that the guy is white. Her comment was absolutely unacceptable and in most cases would be grounds for immediately dismissal. I apologized to the white guy for having had to hear such a racist comment. He's a pretty level-headed dude and said that he wasn't as much concerned about the racist reference, as much as what did he do to piss her off.
That evening we realized that we HAD to confront her. Her rant in part was her feeling not as welcomed at a new job as she would like, and that we constantly questioned comments that she said. So we decided to apologize for that. So next morning we say, can we talk to you.
Jamaica apologized for anything that she may have said to make Coffeemate feel uncomfortable. Dasani asks what he did to upset her. (apparently she felt like we collectively interrogated her and took out all her frustrations on him, which made him feel more at ease).
Me: I'm sorry if you feel like I did something to make you feel uncomfortable and I can understand that you were upset and told Dasani about things that he personally did to upset you; however, it was absolutely UNACCEPTABLE to call him a dumb white boy from ATL_Suburb. I mean, even I was extremely offended when you said that.
Coffeemate: I didn't say that.
The entire room: YES YOU DID.
Me:Furthermore, saying racist type comments is grounds for being fired.
Coffeemate: SunFresh, you should know me better than to think...
Me: Really I don't know you.
Coffeemate: Well, I don't have a racist bone in my body. I've NEVER had this type of reaction from people at old-firm.
Me: Well, one thing to learn from this experience, is to not call anybody a dumb white person. I suggest you be very thoughtful/careful when referring to other races.
Coffeemate: I've never had this type of reaction. But okay. I will NEVER say anything about white/black or whatever type people.
Me: I think that is a good idea.
Coffeemate: I didn't think you all would talk about this. It happened yesterday, I've moved on.
Us: Well, after you made those racist comments, we all felt unresolved.
Weird thing, after this discussion, she was distant yet somewhat friendly. The CRAZY chic denied the situation and went on like nothing happened. The fact that she discounted her blow up and denied saying the racist comment leads me to believe that she is crazy and to not associate with her.
Questions for the peanut gallery:
1) Would you inform a manager about the situaiton?
2) If you were Dasani, would you want to work on another project with her?
3) WTF does a black Atlantian look like?
5.07.2008
Envoy Ride
I'm out of town on business. My team consists of relatively young (33-27) year olds and a part of the audit culture is to talk freely about life, both personal and professional. For those who are not aware of "audit culture," ...coming out of college, you work most intimately (and by intimate I mean 4-7 people sitting in one conference room) with people aged 30 and under and spend more time at work than you do with friends/family (There are times when I worked anywhere between 60 to 70 hours/week for 3 months consistently). So it's a culture in which you develop personal relationships with those that you work with because you spend so much time with them.
In the Envoy was an Asain woman, Cuacasion Male, Black-American (by way of Jamaica) and Me - Black-American, the mutt who can trace both paternal and maternal ancestors back to slavery. We had an interesting dialogue about experiences with race growing up.
The asian woman was raised by a Caucasian family in an all Caucasian town. As a disclaimer, she tends to say off the wall things that leave your jaw open, thinking "OMG, did she just say that?" She flat out said, "White people ask me dumb ass questions. The stupidest thing a white person has ever asked me is can you see?"
The white guy said, "well isn't that more of a reflection of the people that you were around? Ignorance doesn't discriminate and if you're only around white people, it doesn't surprise me that a stupid question like that would come up. But you could get the same ignorant question if you were the only Asian around all blacks, all Indians, all Hispanics." Good point, ignorance doesn't discriminate.
Then I told her that as a black person that grew up around all whites, I took on some of their prejudices toward black people. At the most extreme time, I had a lot of self-hate as a result of being infused with their prejudices. I didn't think I was an attractive person as a child because 1) I didn't have the same physical attributes (swingy hair, skinny body, blue/green/grey eyes, button and/or long instead of wide nose etc) and 2) I was flat out told that the only pretty black woman was Whitney Houston, that I was ugly or that I was a nigger. I think that surprised the white guy because now, I come off as confident and am not half bad looking.
However, those feelings of insecurity amongst all whites when it comes to beauty have definitely carried over to adulthood. I indicated that especially in the south, if I get all dolled up and go out to bars/clubs, I have ALWAYS received more attention from black men than white men (or hell, even when I go to the grocery store looking like yesterday's business). Therefore, I don't prefer to go to mostly white bars/clubs and would rather go to a mostly black bar/club (so hopefully she will stop asking me to go with her to be her wing-gal flirt).
That lead into the next conversation... the basic perception that black women are generally not romanticized...we might be sexualized, but not romanticized. This stems from the fact that environment (media) does not subliminally send messages to the masses that black women are beautiful. We're often times shown in roles such as the 40+ strong-personalitied modernized Aunt Jamaima.
One interesting response that the white guy had regarding why black women are not equally represented in television, magazines and other forms of popular media is that black people represent approximately 10% of the population. So statistically speaking, we should not expect to see black people inundated in popular, mainstream media. However, let's be real, black's representation in popular mainstream media is less than 10% (or at least it feels that way...when I turn on NBC/ABC/CBS at night, I don't feel like I see at least 10%). And when you see the black women as desirable, it's the same 3-4 black women that have been around for about 10 years...Beyonce, Halle, Tyra, and...???
I always think candid conversations on race are interesting. People tend to not be flat out racists and/or biggots, they just have experiences that have shaped their perception and/or preferences. I learned a bit and perhaps they learned a bit about me as well.
In the Envoy was an Asain woman, Cuacasion Male, Black-American (by way of Jamaica) and Me - Black-American, the mutt who can trace both paternal and maternal ancestors back to slavery. We had an interesting dialogue about experiences with race growing up.
The asian woman was raised by a Caucasian family in an all Caucasian town. As a disclaimer, she tends to say off the wall things that leave your jaw open, thinking "OMG, did she just say that?" She flat out said, "White people ask me dumb ass questions. The stupidest thing a white person has ever asked me is can you see?"
The white guy said, "well isn't that more of a reflection of the people that you were around? Ignorance doesn't discriminate and if you're only around white people, it doesn't surprise me that a stupid question like that would come up. But you could get the same ignorant question if you were the only Asian around all blacks, all Indians, all Hispanics." Good point, ignorance doesn't discriminate.
Then I told her that as a black person that grew up around all whites, I took on some of their prejudices toward black people. At the most extreme time, I had a lot of self-hate as a result of being infused with their prejudices. I didn't think I was an attractive person as a child because 1) I didn't have the same physical attributes (swingy hair, skinny body, blue/green/grey eyes, button and/or long instead of wide nose etc) and 2) I was flat out told that the only pretty black woman was Whitney Houston, that I was ugly or that I was a nigger. I think that surprised the white guy because now, I come off as confident and am not half bad looking.
However, those feelings of insecurity amongst all whites when it comes to beauty have definitely carried over to adulthood. I indicated that especially in the south, if I get all dolled up and go out to bars/clubs, I have ALWAYS received more attention from black men than white men (or hell, even when I go to the grocery store looking like yesterday's business). Therefore, I don't prefer to go to mostly white bars/clubs and would rather go to a mostly black bar/club (so hopefully she will stop asking me to go with her to be her wing-gal flirt).
That lead into the next conversation... the basic perception that black women are generally not romanticized...we might be sexualized, but not romanticized. This stems from the fact that environment (media) does not subliminally send messages to the masses that black women are beautiful. We're often times shown in roles such as the 40+ strong-personalitied modernized Aunt Jamaima.
One interesting response that the white guy had regarding why black women are not equally represented in television, magazines and other forms of popular media is that black people represent approximately 10% of the population. So statistically speaking, we should not expect to see black people inundated in popular, mainstream media. However, let's be real, black's representation in popular mainstream media is less than 10% (or at least it feels that way...when I turn on NBC/ABC/CBS at night, I don't feel like I see at least 10%). And when you see the black women as desirable, it's the same 3-4 black women that have been around for about 10 years...Beyonce, Halle, Tyra, and...???
I always think candid conversations on race are interesting. People tend to not be flat out racists and/or biggots, they just have experiences that have shaped their perception and/or preferences. I learned a bit and perhaps they learned a bit about me as well.
5.02.2008
Perfume..
So the other night after a work-out, I was in the grocery store. A young boy (couldn't have been older than 16) approaches me the same way a Mary K associate would (trying to sell something).
Kid with fixated smile: Excuse me Ma'am. How are you today?
SunFresh (buying Sunfresh Grapefruit): I'm good *blink, blink, blink*
Kid with fixated smile: What type of perfume do you wear?
SunFresh: I don't really wear perfume often. It gets me dizzy sometimes.
Kid with fixated smile: Oh, your more of a body spray/spritzer person
SunFresh: Nope, I'm more of a soap and deoderant person.
Kid with fixated smile: Excuse me Ma'am. How are you today?
SunFresh (buying Sunfresh Grapefruit): I'm good *blink, blink, blink*
Kid with fixated smile: What type of perfume do you wear?
SunFresh: I don't really wear perfume often. It gets me dizzy sometimes.
Kid with fixated smile: Oh, your more of a body spray/spritzer person
SunFresh: Nope, I'm more of a soap and deoderant person.
Text Forwards....But I actually liked this one
I don't know why people think it's okay to use up valuable texts with forwarded information or advertisments. I suppose this is the wave of the future. Usually I delete forwards, especially when they start with "Daily" or "Thought for Today." But I got one that was/is applicable to me and I wanted to tattoo it on the blog so that I can reference it in the future...
"Share your life with those who share your vision. You will then avoid the mistake of spending major time with minor people."
Me likes that.
"Share your life with those who share your vision. You will then avoid the mistake of spending major time with minor people."
Me likes that.
5.01.2008
Family
I so love my family. My mom calls me all worried about me due to all crap that has happened to me this year. She knows how to put a smile on my face, or at least show how much she cares. Which sometimes, I don't even need a smile, I just need to know somebody cares. She'll even tell my brother or sister to give me a call to say hello. It's funny cuz I'll call them out, "Mom told you to call me, didn't she?" And they say...ha yeah...but it doesn't even matter. They are family, they call me because they love me.
And it totally works in reverse. The other day my mother mentioned something about my brother, I immediately put out a request to some people that I know. Today I got word to connect my brother so that he may get the opportunity that he is looking for. Out of all the people that I know in this world, I admire my brother the most. He's 6 years younger than me, but I've learned a lot about strength, humility and humor from him. Dude has charisma!
Ionno - at times, I lose faith in humanity...but my family...they are always there to lift my spirits and make me feel happy again.
And it totally works in reverse. The other day my mother mentioned something about my brother, I immediately put out a request to some people that I know. Today I got word to connect my brother so that he may get the opportunity that he is looking for. Out of all the people that I know in this world, I admire my brother the most. He's 6 years younger than me, but I've learned a lot about strength, humility and humor from him. Dude has charisma!
Ionno - at times, I lose faith in humanity...but my family...they are always there to lift my spirits and make me feel happy again.
Wright vs. Buchanan: Who sees race more clearly
There is no need for me to reiterate the words of Rev. Wright - the media has already inundated you with sound-bites, clips, etc. However, have you read and/or are you knowledgeable about the comments below that Buchanan has made (check yes or no). If you are not aware, that further goes to show the bias in media when it comes to matters of race. It's okay to show an angry black man, but not a mad (as in crazy) white man.
"First, America has been the best country on earth for Black folks. It was here that 600,000 Black people, brought from Africa in slave ships, grew into a community of 40 million, were introduced to Christian salvation, and reached the greatest levels of freedom and prosperity Blacks have ever known. Wright ought to go down on his knees and thank God he is an American. Is White America really responsible for the fact that the crime and incarceration rates for African-Americans are seven times those of White America?
Is it really White America’s fault that illegitimacy in the African-American community has hit 70 percent and the Black dropout rate from high schools in some cities has reached 50 percent? Is that the fault of White America or, first and foremost, a failure of the Black community itself?
As for racism, its ugliest manifestation is in interracial crime, and especially interracial crimes of violence.
Is Barack Obama aware that while White criminals choose Black victims 3 percent of the time, Black criminals choose White victims 45 percent of the time? Is Barack aware that Black-on-White rapes are 100 times more common than the reverse, that Black-on-White robberies were 139 times as common in the first three years of this decade as the reverse?
We have all heard ad nauseam from the Rev. Al about Tawana Brawley, the Duke rape case and Jena. And all turned out to be hoaxes. But about the epidemic of Black assaults on Whites that are real, we hear nothing.
Sorry, Barack, some of us have heard it all before, about 40 years and 40 trillion tax dollars ago!”
Tavis Smiley calls Buchanan a “racial arsonist.”
"First, America has been the best country on earth for Black folks. It was here that 600,000 Black people, brought from Africa in slave ships, grew into a community of 40 million, were introduced to Christian salvation, and reached the greatest levels of freedom and prosperity Blacks have ever known. Wright ought to go down on his knees and thank God he is an American. Is White America really responsible for the fact that the crime and incarceration rates for African-Americans are seven times those of White America?
Is it really White America’s fault that illegitimacy in the African-American community has hit 70 percent and the Black dropout rate from high schools in some cities has reached 50 percent? Is that the fault of White America or, first and foremost, a failure of the Black community itself?
As for racism, its ugliest manifestation is in interracial crime, and especially interracial crimes of violence.
Is Barack Obama aware that while White criminals choose Black victims 3 percent of the time, Black criminals choose White victims 45 percent of the time? Is Barack aware that Black-on-White rapes are 100 times more common than the reverse, that Black-on-White robberies were 139 times as common in the first three years of this decade as the reverse?
We have all heard ad nauseam from the Rev. Al about Tawana Brawley, the Duke rape case and Jena. And all turned out to be hoaxes. But about the epidemic of Black assaults on Whites that are real, we hear nothing.
Sorry, Barack, some of us have heard it all before, about 40 years and 40 trillion tax dollars ago!”
Tavis Smiley calls Buchanan a “racial arsonist.”
4.30.2008
Little Miss Ditzy
I'm passive agressive, so this question is for the assertive / agressive personalities...when somebody gets on your nerves, how do you tactfully and politely let them know to bug off?
I find myself getting short with this person because I wish they would leave me alone. They mean well so I don't have a basis to be the angry black woman...but they are genuinely getting on my nerves. To summarize, she constantly comes up with fruitless invitations to things..."Oh you should come to dinner with me n' so-n-so (from work) tonight, you should come to my roommates boyfriend's band, we should use our alternative travel benefit to take a weekend vacation together (I don't know you mannnn (c) Chris Tucker), we should, we should we should....But then when I ask her for details of something, for her to email directions and/or show up...*crickets chirp* Basically, she's just talking to talk and appear to be friendly/social; however she truly has no intention of genuinely extending a sincere invitation to me. So I'd just rather her not!
How do you shut a person down that seemingly means well, has their head in the clouds but just doesn't "get it." It'd be so much easier if she were mean!
4.29.2008
Swimming
In my adult life, I've been shocked at the # of people (black) that I have met that cannot swim. Now, I'm not expecting anybody to be an olympic swimming pro. Unless you do it for exercise, there is nothing fun about swimming laps in a pool.
But I love the ocean, *some pools,* and lake trips. Last summer on a lake trip a couple of the chics came with their hair pressed and curled and I was like errr - your just going to mess it up. "I don't swim." Huh? What's the point in going on a boat trip if you don't swim?
Growing up, I went to water parks, pools the ocean. Heck, recently I went snorkling. How lame my life might have been had I not known how to swim!
When I was dating ex, I told him that he had to learn how to swim (and/or tread water) before we had children. Why don't people feel one with water? If you can't swim, why haven't you learned? Do you plan to learn one day (presumably before you have children)? Or do you feel like you can avoid water like the plague for all of your life?
But I love the ocean, *some pools,* and lake trips. Last summer on a lake trip a couple of the chics came with their hair pressed and curled and I was like errr - your just going to mess it up. "I don't swim." Huh? What's the point in going on a boat trip if you don't swim?
Growing up, I went to water parks, pools the ocean. Heck, recently I went snorkling. How lame my life might have been had I not known how to swim!
When I was dating ex, I told him that he had to learn how to swim (and/or tread water) before we had children. Why don't people feel one with water? If you can't swim, why haven't you learned? Do you plan to learn one day (presumably before you have children)? Or do you feel like you can avoid water like the plague for all of your life?
And I wonder aloud...
If a friend-in-progress does something questionable (and by questionable, I mean something that if they did to you, you could not get over it or would cease the friendship based on that action alone) that has no bearing on your relationship with them....
do you continue to build your friendship with them?
Friend-in-progress = Somebody that you met recently. For all intents and purposes, you get along and have a good time. You don't necessarily confide in them about your more inner thoughts/feelings because vulnerability simply takes time.
I was thinking about a person I was never that fond of and challenged myself to think, "what did she ever do to you for you not to like her."
There were warning signals of character. She did some stuff that was totally unrelated to me that made me not trust her. That put the first wall up. Then from there, it was just a difference in personality... a difference that I didn't care to address or work out for the sake of others. It was fine for me to just make casual convo and not initiate and pursue the a true friendship.
do you continue to build your friendship with them?
Friend-in-progress = Somebody that you met recently. For all intents and purposes, you get along and have a good time. You don't necessarily confide in them about your more inner thoughts/feelings because vulnerability simply takes time.
I was thinking about a person I was never that fond of and challenged myself to think, "what did she ever do to you for you not to like her."
There were warning signals of character. She did some stuff that was totally unrelated to me that made me not trust her. That put the first wall up. Then from there, it was just a difference in personality... a difference that I didn't care to address or work out for the sake of others. It was fine for me to just make casual convo and not initiate and pursue the a true friendship.
I dare you to....
read this and not be offended.
I was offended yet slightly empathetic until I read, "Oh, and one more thing left to do, please get rid of the illiterate RAP music to completely rid the Dome of any reminder of the male and female apes that seek only to reproduce at an alarming rate. Let’s just let these folks continue to get elected as the leaders of the Atlanta City Government."
I was offended yet slightly empathetic until I read, "Oh, and one more thing left to do, please get rid of the illiterate RAP music to completely rid the Dome of any reminder of the male and female apes that seek only to reproduce at an alarming rate. Let’s just let these folks continue to get elected as the leaders of the Atlanta City Government."
Icky Age
I used to know the calculation for it. Something like, divide your current age in two and add 7. Or multiply your age by 2 and subtract 7. Well whatever, I can't truly find it, but after dating my ex, I vowed to not date anybody as old as him (he was 9 years my senior).
Well, the other day this guy gave me his card - I couldn't tell how old he was, you know black folks age very well. It was in a safe environment, an alumni event, so I figured he wasn't thaaat crazy. And I casually made it clear that I was 5 years removed from college, which put me at most 27 (as most people are 21 or 22 when they graduate from college).
So anywho, I take his card and look him up, he has owns a law firm. While that in itself is quite impressive...and he graduated from undergrad in 1990. Ya girl was 9 years old in 1990. Dude is like 40...13 years older than I am. Based on my last experience, my ex is single b/c he cannot communicate. Communication in an intimate relationship is akin to breathing air for life (for me). Granted, he could be divorced, but I'm weary of men that are that old and are single.
Well, the other day this guy gave me his card - I couldn't tell how old he was, you know black folks age very well. It was in a safe environment, an alumni event, so I figured he wasn't thaaat crazy. And I casually made it clear that I was 5 years removed from college, which put me at most 27 (as most people are 21 or 22 when they graduate from college).
So anywho, I take his card and look him up, he has owns a law firm. While that in itself is quite impressive...and he graduated from undergrad in 1990. Ya girl was 9 years old in 1990. Dude is like 40...13 years older than I am. Based on my last experience, my ex is single b/c he cannot communicate. Communication in an intimate relationship is akin to breathing air for life (for me). Granted, he could be divorced, but I'm weary of men that are that old and are single.
4.28.2008
Yeaaaa! Hawks > Celtics
Just came back from the game. I LOVE it when the underdog wins (and I live in the underdog city). Went with my gay-boyfriend. I suggest every straight girl get one!
4.27.2008
Hunger
I'm trying to keep this blog as impersonal as possible...but in all honesty that is not ME. I'm a open person, IF I sense that a person truly cares. Problem is that people most often don't care, or they want certain details about you to validate some asinine assumption that they've made about you. Or people only care when it's easy for them to care. (not very jesus like approach, but hey most people don't truly walk the path that they preach).
Human emotion is a very complex thing. If you frequent the Post Secret site, you'll find that we do some base things, but cover it up with a smile. Most people smile or put forth a very light-hearted persona - but feel a lot of pain, or have a deeply jaded, pessimistic view of the world. Makes it harder to decipher at first glance those that are truly happy and those that aren't. And you can even see that in my attempts to be as impersonal as possible on the blog, I place perspectives of stuff that I only care about in a 5 minute span of time. I don't lose sleep over the economic stimulus plan and what others plan to do with it.
I woke up this morning, realizing that yesterday I ate a total of 4 avocado and 4 white tuna small sushi rolls. And when I say small, they were probably between the size of a silver dollar and a quarter. And maybe some applesauce at 7:30 am. That is ALL. No snacks that I'm leaving out to exaggerate. I know that b/c I remember opening the fridge, looking around and thinking, I don't want anything in here.
I read a blog the other day about a black woman that had an eating disorder. *Pause - I think this terminology should be extended to anybody that allows their emotional status to trigger eating habits, which would encompass obese people as well.* Anywho - because black society covets body parts composed almost entirely of fat (ass and tittties, 'scuse the frank-frenchness), I don't believe that we are quite as *at risk* of eating disorders associated with underweight. And then as a people we seem to disregard the reality that heart disease, diabetes can be prevented in some instances. In my heart, I'm a proponent of all things healthy. However, I can't say I walk the talk.
Well, while I've officially never been diagnosed with an eating disorder - because quite frankly, I'm not underweight (I'm in the 'normal' BMI range)...I know I have a disability when it comes to a healthy eating habits (don't worry, my doctor knows). Yesterday, perhaps my physical hunger didn't move me to eat b/c it didn't quite exceed my emotional hunger pains. I'm a bore at the grocery store. While folks throw what looks good in the basket, I'll sit there agonizing over the calories. I probably eat things that others consider weird...(I've always loved tomatilla salsa, it has at most 1 gram of fat and 70 calories per serving. I put it on salads instead of fatty dressing or might warm it up and eat it with angel string pasta etc...)
I've identified two triggers that drive me from a conscious eating schedule to an arguably unhealthy one. I've always been 5'4" (since 5th grade). I was probably 135 lbs coming out of 5th grade, which put me in a junior size 10/12. The first time I remember being somewhat obsessed with what I ate was 7th grade. I dropped down to 110 lbs, which put me in a size 4, and made me look more like my peers. (I went to an all white school, I am UBER sensitive when it comes to debates about how media and/or outside influences effect people, especially in terms of how white images of beauty drive various social constructs about self-image). Emotionally, Iremember being overall happy. I had a super-cute boyfriend, was on the basketball team, made great grades, was on student council. Perhaps it was indirect negative reinforcement. I was an teetering on an unhealthy weight had piss poor eating habits, but GREAT things were happening to me.
Second time was college. Very similar circumstances as before. I had just been accepted to the competitive business program. I spent more time around people that I generally wouldn't choose to hang around (the majority of people in my class were white frat boys / sorority girls). Again, their standards of beauty were chics like jennifer aniston. I had gained my freshman 15...maxing out at about 132, but by my 3rd year when I was in the program, I went back down to about 115. I had a good campus job, was elected class rep, volunteered, made great grades, and was emerging as a leader in my elite business program. Again, I was teetering on an unhealthy weight and had piss poor eating habits, but GREAT things were happening to me.
Perhaps this conditioning has lead me to believe that I can induce GREAT things by dropping weight.
Okay - this was all over the place. And sure, folks can say "damn yo she needs therapy." Response, we all could benefit from it. The URL for this blog is thoughtful...it's a purge of my thoughts. Sure the internet is a public forum in which to share personal info. But on the flip side, having read that other blog on underweight problems, it touched me...and in turn perhaps my words will let somebody else know that she/he is not alone. I'm sure had I met that blogger in person - it would take years before we had that conversation. Why? because superficial relationships are safe and easy...vulnerability takes time.
BTW - I love Jenna Wolf on the today show. I'd love to hang with her. FUCK, I just learned that I won't be getting an economic stimulus check. Apparently I make too much *wait can somebody tell me if the cut-off is based on gross income or the AGI..there might be hope for me* Damn, there goes my extra vacation. (have to laugh at that statement, given that I'm mad about a missed vacation and there are families that direly need the money to feed their children...humble yourself SunFresh).
Human emotion is a very complex thing. If you frequent the Post Secret site, you'll find that we do some base things, but cover it up with a smile. Most people smile or put forth a very light-hearted persona - but feel a lot of pain, or have a deeply jaded, pessimistic view of the world. Makes it harder to decipher at first glance those that are truly happy and those that aren't. And you can even see that in my attempts to be as impersonal as possible on the blog, I place perspectives of stuff that I only care about in a 5 minute span of time. I don't lose sleep over the economic stimulus plan and what others plan to do with it.
I woke up this morning, realizing that yesterday I ate a total of 4 avocado and 4 white tuna small sushi rolls. And when I say small, they were probably between the size of a silver dollar and a quarter. And maybe some applesauce at 7:30 am. That is ALL. No snacks that I'm leaving out to exaggerate. I know that b/c I remember opening the fridge, looking around and thinking, I don't want anything in here.
I read a blog the other day about a black woman that had an eating disorder. *Pause - I think this terminology should be extended to anybody that allows their emotional status to trigger eating habits, which would encompass obese people as well.* Anywho - because black society covets body parts composed almost entirely of fat (ass and tittties, 'scuse the frank-frenchness), I don't believe that we are quite as *at risk* of eating disorders associated with underweight. And then as a people we seem to disregard the reality that heart disease, diabetes can be prevented in some instances. In my heart, I'm a proponent of all things healthy. However, I can't say I walk the talk.
Well, while I've officially never been diagnosed with an eating disorder - because quite frankly, I'm not underweight (I'm in the 'normal' BMI range)...I know I have a disability when it comes to a healthy eating habits (don't worry, my doctor knows). Yesterday, perhaps my physical hunger didn't move me to eat b/c it didn't quite exceed my emotional hunger pains. I'm a bore at the grocery store. While folks throw what looks good in the basket, I'll sit there agonizing over the calories. I probably eat things that others consider weird...(I've always loved tomatilla salsa, it has at most 1 gram of fat and 70 calories per serving. I put it on salads instead of fatty dressing or might warm it up and eat it with angel string pasta etc...)
I've identified two triggers that drive me from a conscious eating schedule to an arguably unhealthy one. I've always been 5'4" (since 5th grade). I was probably 135 lbs coming out of 5th grade, which put me in a junior size 10/12. The first time I remember being somewhat obsessed with what I ate was 7th grade. I dropped down to 110 lbs, which put me in a size 4, and made me look more like my peers. (I went to an all white school, I am UBER sensitive when it comes to debates about how media and/or outside influences effect people, especially in terms of how white images of beauty drive various social constructs about self-image). Emotionally, Iremember being overall happy. I had a super-cute boyfriend, was on the basketball team, made great grades, was on student council. Perhaps it was indirect negative reinforcement. I was an teetering on an unhealthy weight had piss poor eating habits, but GREAT things were happening to me.
Second time was college. Very similar circumstances as before. I had just been accepted to the competitive business program. I spent more time around people that I generally wouldn't choose to hang around (the majority of people in my class were white frat boys / sorority girls). Again, their standards of beauty were chics like jennifer aniston. I had gained my freshman 15...maxing out at about 132, but by my 3rd year when I was in the program, I went back down to about 115. I had a good campus job, was elected class rep, volunteered, made great grades, and was emerging as a leader in my elite business program. Again, I was teetering on an unhealthy weight and had piss poor eating habits, but GREAT things were happening to me.
Perhaps this conditioning has lead me to believe that I can induce GREAT things by dropping weight.
Okay - this was all over the place. And sure, folks can say "damn yo she needs therapy." Response, we all could benefit from it. The URL for this blog is thoughtful...it's a purge of my thoughts. Sure the internet is a public forum in which to share personal info. But on the flip side, having read that other blog on underweight problems, it touched me...and in turn perhaps my words will let somebody else know that she/he is not alone. I'm sure had I met that blogger in person - it would take years before we had that conversation. Why? because superficial relationships are safe and easy...vulnerability takes time.
BTW - I love Jenna Wolf on the today show. I'd love to hang with her. FUCK, I just learned that I won't be getting an economic stimulus check. Apparently I make too much *wait can somebody tell me if the cut-off is based on gross income or the AGI..there might be hope for me* Damn, there goes my extra vacation. (have to laugh at that statement, given that I'm mad about a missed vacation and there are families that direly need the money to feed their children...humble yourself SunFresh).
4.25.2008
Times are Tough
I went to the gas station and asked for $5 worth of gas.
The cashier farted and handed me a receipt.
(i gotta give credit where credit is due AmyOops)
That was kneeslappin' funny!
The cashier farted and handed me a receipt.
(i gotta give credit where credit is due AmyOops)
That was kneeslappin' funny!
Do you and/or would you?
ATL is pretty segregated when it comes to a social scene. Friday night is typically "black night," and Saturday is typically "white + all other night." And there are of certain bars/areas that draw a black or white crowd no matter what night it is.
So Coffeemate is a social butterfly. I can't really feel her out. Initially, I thought she was a churcy type chic that didn't drink or go out much. But I'm slowly but surely starting to see that she's a party girl with a good heart. Coffeemate is kinda like Lucy-Lui's character in Cashmiere Mafia (so sad it was cancelled). I say that b/c 1) they're both asain and 2) in one episode LL's character said something about not dating Asian (ethnic) men. Just yesterday Coffeemate was telling me that she doesn't find ethnic men attractive and she prefers the "good ol' boy." Interpretation - she likes 'em tall tan and blonde. Plus, I know her circle from old firm...and they weren't "ethnic."
Well, I told her that I was wanting to go to this one event at a spot in which I KNOW the crowd isn't mixed. She somewhat invited herself along and I told her, "you do know that it's an urban crowd?" That of course is code for, it's an all black crowd. She said so, but then started asking, "well, it's not always that way is it? I thought there was a mixed crowd there."
I just don't want her to be caught off gaurd and uncomfortable.
So Coffeemate is a social butterfly. I can't really feel her out. Initially, I thought she was a churcy type chic that didn't drink or go out much. But I'm slowly but surely starting to see that she's a party girl with a good heart. Coffeemate is kinda like Lucy-Lui's character in Cashmiere Mafia (so sad it was cancelled). I say that b/c 1) they're both asain and 2) in one episode LL's character said something about not dating Asian (ethnic) men. Just yesterday Coffeemate was telling me that she doesn't find ethnic men attractive and she prefers the "good ol' boy." Interpretation - she likes 'em tall tan and blonde. Plus, I know her circle from old firm...and they weren't "ethnic."
Well, I told her that I was wanting to go to this one event at a spot in which I KNOW the crowd isn't mixed. She somewhat invited herself along and I told her, "you do know that it's an urban crowd?" That of course is code for, it's an all black crowd. She said so, but then started asking, "well, it's not always that way is it? I thought there was a mixed crowd there."
I just don't want her to be caught off gaurd and uncomfortable.
Economic Stimilus Package - Whoop whoop
Economics stimulate my brain. I recently read Alan Greenspan's book
Age of Turbulance.
I'm anticipating anywhere between $300 and $600 as a result of Bush's Economic Stimulous Plan. The intent of the stimulus plan is to obviously stimulate the economy; however if we're experiencing a credit crisis...wouldn't it simply allow folks to pay off debt? Or use it to buy food/gas? This guy surely is going to use it to feed his family.
I live reasonably within my means, so fortunately, I don't have any unhealthy or past due debts that I must pay off. I'll either use it to travel or save it.
What do you plan to do with it? I'm wondering if it will REALLY stimulate the economy.
Age of Turbulance. I'm anticipating anywhere between $300 and $600 as a result of Bush's Economic Stimulous Plan. The intent of the stimulus plan is to obviously stimulate the economy; however if we're experiencing a credit crisis...wouldn't it simply allow folks to pay off debt? Or use it to buy food/gas? This guy surely is going to use it to feed his family.
I live reasonably within my means, so fortunately, I don't have any unhealthy or past due debts that I must pay off. I'll either use it to travel or save it.
What do you plan to do with it? I'm wondering if it will REALLY stimulate the economy.
4.24.2008
Ghetto and Blackville
So last night's episode of my personal crack made me about NUTS. With the exception of the delicious eye candy - Will, it was almost more than I could stand.
So in one scene Kimberly (Southern Belle) calls Brianna (Philly Stripper) out for acting "Ghetto." You know what...I agree with Kimberly. Brianna completley lost her temper, started coming out the mouth with dumb insults like a hiyena. Furthermore, earlier and off camera Brianna let folks know that she 'could' act ghetto if provoked.
But Kimberly crossed the line with, "I don't care if you're from the most inner city Blackville."
Because Kimberly is not exposed to positivity that can thrive in an urban area (inner city)...she assumes that people from the inner-city are all like Pookie on on the 6 pm news.
So in one scene Kimberly (Southern Belle) calls Brianna (Philly Stripper) out for acting "Ghetto." You know what...I agree with Kimberly. Brianna completley lost her temper, started coming out the mouth with dumb insults like a hiyena. Furthermore, earlier and off camera Brianna let folks know that she 'could' act ghetto if provoked.
But Kimberly crossed the line with, "I don't care if you're from the most inner city Blackville."
Because Kimberly is not exposed to positivity that can thrive in an urban area (inner city)...she assumes that people from the inner-city are all like Pookie on on the 6 pm news.
Parenting and Politics
Earlier this week one question was thrown out on a blog that I frequent during the day. Later in the week, a variation of the same question was thrown out. In my opinion, if your answer was yes to one, it should have been yes to another. However that was not 100% the case.
Would you let your child sleep over at a his/her friend's house?
Would you let your child go to an away from home over night camp?
to me that's like asking
Would you swim in a tank filled with sharks
Would you swim in a tank filled with piranhas
Then I got to thinking, this is how politicians get caught up in the details of speech. I'd call somebody a "flip-flopper" if they said yes to one and no to another. To me, a parent's underlying issue is that they are not in control of their child's circumstances/situation in either case (and want to protect their child's safety). So I cannot imagine why the response would be different. I suppose it's all in how we perceive the underlying risks and/or circumstances of a given sitaution.
I went to sleep overs, whether it be at a friend's house or at an away camp. And let me tell ya, I did more dirt at camp than at a friend's house. At camp (basketball), the counselors are...what 4-7 years older than I was...and were doing their own dirt. At a friend's house, me and my friends were too scared of the immediate consequences of stepping out of line. At camp, I had freedom and no house alarm to sneak out with the other girls to go visit the boys. Because I didn't believe that I'd get caught, my conscious didn't ride me as it would have if I were in my own or a friend's neighborhood. Some would argue that you don't truly know the parent's whose house you are sending your child. I know my mother spent more time with my friend's parents than she did ANY of the camp counselors/directors etc. The risk was the same in either instance. Thank God, no crazies got to me in either situation.
Ionno - but that topic struck a weird chord in me.
Would you let your child sleep over at a his/her friend's house?
Would you let your child go to an away from home over night camp?
to me that's like asking
Would you swim in a tank filled with sharks
Would you swim in a tank filled with piranhas
Then I got to thinking, this is how politicians get caught up in the details of speech. I'd call somebody a "flip-flopper" if they said yes to one and no to another. To me, a parent's underlying issue is that they are not in control of their child's circumstances/situation in either case (and want to protect their child's safety). So I cannot imagine why the response would be different. I suppose it's all in how we perceive the underlying risks and/or circumstances of a given sitaution.
I went to sleep overs, whether it be at a friend's house or at an away camp. And let me tell ya, I did more dirt at camp than at a friend's house. At camp (basketball), the counselors are...what 4-7 years older than I was...and were doing their own dirt. At a friend's house, me and my friends were too scared of the immediate consequences of stepping out of line. At camp, I had freedom and no house alarm to sneak out with the other girls to go visit the boys. Because I didn't believe that I'd get caught, my conscious didn't ride me as it would have if I were in my own or a friend's neighborhood. Some would argue that you don't truly know the parent's whose house you are sending your child. I know my mother spent more time with my friend's parents than she did ANY of the camp counselors/directors etc. The risk was the same in either instance. Thank God, no crazies got to me in either situation.
Ionno - but that topic struck a weird chord in me.
4.23.2008
Problems in Africa
On over at my favorite black-centric blog they posted an article in which the UN reported that African Nations Lag Behind 2015 Goals. The goals are listed within the article.
On many levels the news stories out of Africa frustrate me. At times I liken it to the little sister that instead of going to school, dropped out and had 3 kids before age 20. Now it's hard to force an entire continent into a stereotype, so I do recognize that certain nations are advanced and making progress. Heck, oil business is booming in Nigeria.
However, the fact stands that the majority of African nations have a LONG way to come. And it's frustrating. The continent with the oldest documented evidence of civilization cannot seem to rise to become a true, respectable player in the global economy. I don't accept the notions that "the man" (whoever that may be) has kept the African nations down. Similarly to my opinions on gentrification...if you don't exploit your own resources and use those to your advantage...somebody else will. Then you can't be caught off gaurd when you don't own or control anything because you didn't collectively organize and over-come.
And sure you can say "institutionalized racism" is at play. While I recognize that it exists, I recognize that it exists for those that believe in it as much as they believe in God. I descend from a family in which 7 children from rural Mississippi all grew to be college educated during the 1930s-1940s. This allowed them to move into a higher economic class. Both my parents progressed from low-income conditions into middle-income tiers. They didn't buy into the institutionalized racism; therefore the institutionalized racism didn't own their destiny.
That story doesn't top the latest mess Stolen Penises? C'mon
Distress in Darfur
*sigh* Go to BBC. When you click on the right Africa link, it's simply disturbing. Perhaps they only publish negativity.
On many levels the news stories out of Africa frustrate me. At times I liken it to the little sister that instead of going to school, dropped out and had 3 kids before age 20. Now it's hard to force an entire continent into a stereotype, so I do recognize that certain nations are advanced and making progress. Heck, oil business is booming in Nigeria.
However, the fact stands that the majority of African nations have a LONG way to come. And it's frustrating. The continent with the oldest documented evidence of civilization cannot seem to rise to become a true, respectable player in the global economy. I don't accept the notions that "the man" (whoever that may be) has kept the African nations down. Similarly to my opinions on gentrification...if you don't exploit your own resources and use those to your advantage...somebody else will. Then you can't be caught off gaurd when you don't own or control anything because you didn't collectively organize and over-come.
And sure you can say "institutionalized racism" is at play. While I recognize that it exists, I recognize that it exists for those that believe in it as much as they believe in God. I descend from a family in which 7 children from rural Mississippi all grew to be college educated during the 1930s-1940s. This allowed them to move into a higher economic class. Both my parents progressed from low-income conditions into middle-income tiers. They didn't buy into the institutionalized racism; therefore the institutionalized racism didn't own their destiny.
That story doesn't top the latest mess Stolen Penises? C'mon
Distress in Darfur
*sigh* Go to BBC. When you click on the right Africa link, it's simply disturbing. Perhaps they only publish negativity.
I think I may have asked a dude out on a date
We've gone out before, and there is very little chemistry. He's still kind of flirty. For example, the other day I asked him if he knew of any Obama watch parties and he said no...but that I could watch with him at his house. Ummm...no thanks! But at this point, I'm not looking for love, just a buddy to go check out the music with.
Ya girl is new school and uses these here innernets to communicate at times. He's an avid facebook user (posts some political article like once a day), so I sent him a casual message asking if he wanted to check out the jazz show with me. I don't mean it as a date per se, but he's one person that I know would appreciate the jazz concert. (Plus he's easy on the eyes and has a bodacious booty - ha and on a more substantive note, I admire his passion for what he believes in).
Ya girl is new school and uses these here innernets to communicate at times. He's an avid facebook user (posts some political article like once a day), so I sent him a casual message asking if he wanted to check out the jazz show with me. I don't mean it as a date per se, but he's one person that I know would appreciate the jazz concert. (Plus he's easy on the eyes and has a bodacious booty - ha and on a more substantive note, I admire his passion for what he believes in).
4.22.2008
Marriage
How did you feel going into the marriage? Confident, scared?
Given that anybody is perfect, how did you decide that your spouse's flaws were something that you could accept for life? Did that person's flaws leave you feeling unfulfilled?
I am having the most uncomfortable conversation. Somebody is telling me that I need to reconsider ending a relationship because marriage isn't what it seems to be (at least on Univision Telenovelas). That from the outside looking in, marriages aren't perfect and you just have to deal (grunt) with it because it's the best institution to rear children. In other words, raising children in a two parent home is worth the trade off of personal happiness and basic fulfillment in a relationship. In other words, if a man can provide for you and future children, this is paramount to him being your friend.
They even challenged me to provide examples of what I envision having. *Shout out to Monica Mingo* I want to be able to, on a whim on a Tuesday afternoon, write a letter about the love and adoration I have for my husband. He may not be perfect, and he may not be my favorite person 100% of the time; however, in a relationship I do have an expectation that the positive will outweigh the negative. Furthermore, I will not (at least in the intial stages) of a relationship sacrifice my own happiness for my future family. Cuz if my happiness doesn't exist without the children, it won't automatically be there with the children.
Hell, I've been in a relationship in which I adored and loved the other person and got what I needed...timing wasn't perfect, it was hard work and circumstances were "extra." But even to this day, in friendship, this person is good to me...like good to the core. Like we don't need to talk for weeks, but if I need a friend, they are a phone call away. Current relationship - not so much. I'm pretty much on my own.
Ahhhh, I'm venting. But for real, I wish I was privy to very intimate details of other marriages. Not to be nosey, but to have a realistic view of the joys and pains of a marriage. We learn by example, right? I don't feel as if I have adequate examples. Furthermore, I feel as though the person were challenging me to stay in a relationship because I have unreasonable assumptions about healthy and/or satisfying relationships. I don't think there is anything unhealthy in expecting that my future life partner will be my best friend... I don't expect that we will agree on everything, but I do expect to experience more joy with them than pain.
Married folks, am I crazy? Is marriage more of a pain than a joy?
Given that anybody is perfect, how did you decide that your spouse's flaws were something that you could accept for life? Did that person's flaws leave you feeling unfulfilled?
I am having the most uncomfortable conversation. Somebody is telling me that I need to reconsider ending a relationship because marriage isn't what it seems to be (at least on Univision Telenovelas). That from the outside looking in, marriages aren't perfect and you just have to deal (grunt) with it because it's the best institution to rear children. In other words, raising children in a two parent home is worth the trade off of personal happiness and basic fulfillment in a relationship. In other words, if a man can provide for you and future children, this is paramount to him being your friend.
They even challenged me to provide examples of what I envision having. *Shout out to Monica Mingo* I want to be able to, on a whim on a Tuesday afternoon, write a letter about the love and adoration I have for my husband. He may not be perfect, and he may not be my favorite person 100% of the time; however, in a relationship I do have an expectation that the positive will outweigh the negative. Furthermore, I will not (at least in the intial stages) of a relationship sacrifice my own happiness for my future family. Cuz if my happiness doesn't exist without the children, it won't automatically be there with the children.
Hell, I've been in a relationship in which I adored and loved the other person and got what I needed...timing wasn't perfect, it was hard work and circumstances were "extra." But even to this day, in friendship, this person is good to me...like good to the core. Like we don't need to talk for weeks, but if I need a friend, they are a phone call away. Current relationship - not so much. I'm pretty much on my own.
Ahhhh, I'm venting. But for real, I wish I was privy to very intimate details of other marriages. Not to be nosey, but to have a realistic view of the joys and pains of a marriage. We learn by example, right? I don't feel as if I have adequate examples. Furthermore, I feel as though the person were challenging me to stay in a relationship because I have unreasonable assumptions about healthy and/or satisfying relationships. I don't think there is anything unhealthy in expecting that my future life partner will be my best friend... I don't expect that we will agree on everything, but I do expect to experience more joy with them than pain.
Married folks, am I crazy? Is marriage more of a pain than a joy?
What's the most effective way to break-up?
Not a bad situation, just one that is simply not going to successfully move forward into the future?
Letter (hand written)?
Phone?
Face to face?
Do you maintain contact with that person on a friend level? Do you need space before you accept friendship?
I was having a conversation with Cocoa and she was like, send a letter letting him know never to contact you again. My reaction was that is so impersonal. She responded with, it does not give him a chance to whine his way back into your heart. At this point, my mind/heart is made up, this is not the man for me and I'm not getting younger, so it is time to move on. But, he is a great good man that happens to be incapable of communicating with me on an intimate level. As friends, we can relate b/c I don't entrust him with my heart. Given that distance makes face to face impossible, I'm waiting to have the phone conversation. I don't want any emotion, just recognition of something that we're both avoiding, but that needs to be said. *Sigh*
Letter (hand written)?
Phone?
Face to face?
Do you maintain contact with that person on a friend level? Do you need space before you accept friendship?
I was having a conversation with Cocoa and she was like, send a letter letting him know never to contact you again. My reaction was that is so impersonal. She responded with, it does not give him a chance to whine his way back into your heart. At this point, my mind/heart is made up, this is not the man for me and I'm not getting younger, so it is time to move on. But, he is a great good man that happens to be incapable of communicating with me on an intimate level. As friends, we can relate b/c I don't entrust him with my heart. Given that distance makes face to face impossible, I'm waiting to have the phone conversation. I don't want any emotion, just recognition of something that we're both avoiding, but that needs to be said. *Sigh*
Oil Companies
Would you have a moral issue working for an Oil Company?
As I slowly approach my thirtieth birthday, there is a slight panic. I am guessing that I'm not alone in this panic. For some reason 30 is this "BIG" number. I think it's when we start to question everything that we did in our twenties. Start asking "what if I had done this, it's too late for me to do that."
In one of my "where am I and where do I want to be," pensive moods, I questioned, maybe I'm not living in the right city. Alternatives came to mind...DC or Houston. (Don't want to go further north than DC). I could consider Charlotte, but I feel like it's an ATL in training. DC was ruled out because I'm not a zillionnaire, nor do I have a double income household. I want a similar quality of life that I have now...meaning that I want to buy a place greater than 1000 square feet in the $200k-240k price range. That leaves Houston as a viable option.
Next thought was.. okay with my skill set (finance/accounting) what industries and/or fortune 500 companies are prevalent in that area? Of the top 10 fortune 500 companies, oil companies account for 30%. There is one located in Houston, and I checked out the website and was impressed about the earth-conscious message on the company website. BUT - I paused thinking to myself, EWWW work for the very type of Company that I loathe each time I gush out $45 for a tank of gas? The Companies for which people are dying in Iraq? The Companies in which I abhor the underlying reason why our president is such a moron on international affairs? Eeek - I have a moral dilemma.
Maybe I should keep my happy ass where I'm at.
Is this panic/anxiety over turning 30 common?
As I slowly approach my thirtieth birthday, there is a slight panic. I am guessing that I'm not alone in this panic. For some reason 30 is this "BIG" number. I think it's when we start to question everything that we did in our twenties. Start asking "what if I had done this, it's too late for me to do that."
In one of my "where am I and where do I want to be," pensive moods, I questioned, maybe I'm not living in the right city. Alternatives came to mind...DC or Houston. (Don't want to go further north than DC). I could consider Charlotte, but I feel like it's an ATL in training. DC was ruled out because I'm not a zillionnaire, nor do I have a double income household. I want a similar quality of life that I have now...meaning that I want to buy a place greater than 1000 square feet in the $200k-240k price range. That leaves Houston as a viable option.
Next thought was.. okay with my skill set (finance/accounting) what industries and/or fortune 500 companies are prevalent in that area? Of the top 10 fortune 500 companies, oil companies account for 30%. There is one located in Houston, and I checked out the website and was impressed about the earth-conscious message on the company website. BUT - I paused thinking to myself, EWWW work for the very type of Company that I loathe each time I gush out $45 for a tank of gas? The Companies for which people are dying in Iraq? The Companies in which I abhor the underlying reason why our president is such a moron on international affairs? Eeek - I have a moral dilemma.
Maybe I should keep my happy ass where I'm at.
Is this panic/anxiety over turning 30 common?
Hunks and Lakes...
So I'm at work and my co-worker sends me a pic of this attractive black guy, followed by the following conversation:
CoffeeMate: what do you think
SunFresh: is he supposed to be going to the lake this weekend?
CoffeeMate: he is single, yes he's going
SunFresh: ehh - kinda looks cocky
CoffeeMate: hmmmmmmmmmm
SunFresh: but cute
CoffeeMate: you know you want that kind
SunFresh: not me
CoffeeMate: whatever
SunFresh I like 'em quiet and kinda shy and not super cute
SunFresh: super cute guys have egos and like to cheat
CoffeeMate: not all of them
CoffeeMate: you cant let one pic be a representation of this guy, SunFresh
CoffeeMate is rather new to the job and I recruited her from old firm. She's a super-cute Asian chic with the thickest southern accent you will hear. It seems that she assumes I'm only into black men, so she asks me if so and so is cute. Little does she know, I'm the furtherst from boy crazy that woman could be and I don't limit my eye candy to chocolate flavors.
Am I way off in thinking that super-cute guys have egos and like to cheat? Yes, this is an over-generalized blanket statement, but one of my paradigms is that humans use stereotypes to make quick judgements to protect themselves. My quick judgement when I see a uber cute guy is that he's really into himself and that he's in player mode. And it's not just pure phyiscal looks, it's the packaging. I can't quite pin-point what I'm talking about...like Boris Kodjoe...uber-attractive, but has a low-key nice guy look. Nelly (yes I think he's cute)...attractive, but has a flashy "just because I wear a iced-out chain I'm supposed to have a bank account" look.
I'm beyond my player years and want a dude that wants to appreciate a lady. So I can go to the lake with the best of 'em and have a great time, but I have NO desire in continuing a relationship with some hottie that is attracted to me based off of what he saw in my bathing suit. Perhaps this is why I'm single... he he.
CoffeeMate: what do you think
SunFresh: is he supposed to be going to the lake this weekend?
CoffeeMate: he is single, yes he's going
SunFresh: ehh - kinda looks cocky
CoffeeMate: hmmmmmmmmmm
SunFresh: but cute
CoffeeMate: you know you want that kind
SunFresh: not me
CoffeeMate: whatever
SunFresh I like 'em quiet and kinda shy and not super cute
SunFresh: super cute guys have egos and like to cheat
CoffeeMate: not all of them
CoffeeMate: you cant let one pic be a representation of this guy, SunFresh
CoffeeMate is rather new to the job and I recruited her from old firm. She's a super-cute Asian chic with the thickest southern accent you will hear. It seems that she assumes I'm only into black men, so she asks me if so and so is cute. Little does she know, I'm the furtherst from boy crazy that woman could be and I don't limit my eye candy to chocolate flavors.
Am I way off in thinking that super-cute guys have egos and like to cheat? Yes, this is an over-generalized blanket statement, but one of my paradigms is that humans use stereotypes to make quick judgements to protect themselves. My quick judgement when I see a uber cute guy is that he's really into himself and that he's in player mode. And it's not just pure phyiscal looks, it's the packaging. I can't quite pin-point what I'm talking about...like Boris Kodjoe...uber-attractive, but has a low-key nice guy look. Nelly (yes I think he's cute)...attractive, but has a flashy "just because I wear a iced-out chain I'm supposed to have a bank account" look.
I'm beyond my player years and want a dude that wants to appreciate a lady. So I can go to the lake with the best of 'em and have a great time, but I have NO desire in continuing a relationship with some hottie that is attracted to me based off of what he saw in my bathing suit. Perhaps this is why I'm single... he he.
Do you think you are sexy?
And why...what is sexy about you?
I've been told that I ooze sexuality. I could be dressed like Jackie Kennedy and folks would still say that. I think I was conditioned to recognized that power that sexuality could have in various situation. However this choke holds me because at times I don't know how to relate to the opposite sex in a nonsexual manner. Even when I try to be friendly, somebody comes at me sideways. Ehhh - whatevers.
Now don't get me wrong, that ish is turned off the second I step into the plantation because I'd be damned if I advanced due to my sexuality.
I've been told that I ooze sexuality. I could be dressed like Jackie Kennedy and folks would still say that. I think I was conditioned to recognized that power that sexuality could have in various situation. However this choke holds me because at times I don't know how to relate to the opposite sex in a nonsexual manner. Even when I try to be friendly, somebody comes at me sideways. Ehhh - whatevers.
Now don't get me wrong, that ish is turned off the second I step into the plantation because I'd be damned if I advanced due to my sexuality.
Earth Day
My small contribution...I purchased the $0.99 reusable grocery bag from Publix. And then 2 days later at work, they hand out free reusable grocery bags. In the Grocery bag, was the New York Times Bestseller, "the green book," by Elizabeth Rogers and Thomas M. Kostigen. It's a 200 page book that talks about the small things that you can do to conserve energy and be more "green." One tip I'll leave you with...
Try Organic Wine. Why? Because...
"A bottle of conventionally produced wine may contain up to 250 different types of chemicals. If you're a wine connoisseur, a year's worth of organic wine purchases would keep roughly 2 pounds of fertilizers and 50 grams of pesticides out of the environment (and out of your wine glass)."
Do you have any green-conscious activities that you do?
As a side note, I'm officially old because I want coffee but am wanting to steer clear of cafinated...so I actually pondered getting decafinated coffee. Who does that? Oh yeah...old people. :-)
Try Organic Wine. Why? Because...
"A bottle of conventionally produced wine may contain up to 250 different types of chemicals. If you're a wine connoisseur, a year's worth of organic wine purchases would keep roughly 2 pounds of fertilizers and 50 grams of pesticides out of the environment (and out of your wine glass)."
Do you have any green-conscious activities that you do?
As a side note, I'm officially old because I want coffee but am wanting to steer clear of cafinated...so I actually pondered getting decafinated coffee. Who does that? Oh yeah...old people. :-)
4.20.2008
Happy Box
So I've been rather down lately. When I'm like this, I get extremely introverted, keep to myself and try to find things that make me happy so that when I am ready to be around people, I'm not a sour puss. Every so often in my life I'm abandoned by those that I casually called friends. At this point, being 27 - I'm over seeking some kind of refuge in a large group of girlfriends. Women are sensitive, complicated, and manipulative. I can say that I'm sensitive and complicated, but honestly, I don't put energy into thinking about "well what can I do to get so-n'-so to do what I want" or to seek revenge. My heart doesn't lead my brain to work that way.
Okay, I'm trying to be less personal on these here "innernets (c) G.W.Bush" so enough with that. Fact is, I'm not happy with my current situation, and my faith in the general good in people has faltered. But, I realize that I cannot go on being sad and in the dumps for the rest of my life. If I took one quality from my mother, it would be resilience. So with that, I've started a happy box.
Life is a rollercoaster. There are periods of extreme highs and lows. In lows, we need energy/inertia to pull us back to the top. Since I have just started the happy box and I have one passage that I clipped off of a green tea box.
Do you have any quotes and or passages that you refer to when sad? What would you put in your happy box.
As a side note, I'm becoming increasingly interested in all things Eastern. Eastern religion, Eastern Exercise, Eastern Food. Perhaps my next trip will be to the Far East.
Okay, I'm trying to be less personal on these here "innernets (c) G.W.Bush" so enough with that. Fact is, I'm not happy with my current situation, and my faith in the general good in people has faltered. But, I realize that I cannot go on being sad and in the dumps for the rest of my life. If I took one quality from my mother, it would be resilience. So with that, I've started a happy box.
Life is a rollercoaster. There are periods of extreme highs and lows. In lows, we need energy/inertia to pull us back to the top. Since I have just started the happy box and I have one passage that I clipped off of a green tea box.
Do you have any quotes and or passages that you refer to when sad? What would you put in your happy box.
As a side note, I'm becoming increasingly interested in all things Eastern. Eastern religion, Eastern Exercise, Eastern Food. Perhaps my next trip will be to the Far East.
My Personal Crack
Confession: I religiously watch MTV's The Real World. The show is the original reality show...7 strangers picked to live in a house and have their lives video taped. A lot of the conflict is trivial and shows the growing pains of post-pubescent attractive people, but what I appreciate is that it shows the rawness that is US during a very confusing time in life. So with that being said, here is the first episode where we start diving into the personalities.
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