For real, how important is money?
Say you find somebody that you are completely compatible with; however, you know that you'd be the breadwinner in the relationship. He has a job, and lives decently, but you make more than $30,000 than him. During dating, you are okay with this because you truly enjoy his company and the non-monetary investments that he contributes to the relationship.
Marriage is on the horizon and you think...hmmm, I could not jump out of the work force to raise children with him and maintain the same standard of living.
Is this a deterent? Is that gold-diggerish. (IMO gold diggerish is wanting materialistic gifts/favors...whereas considering if he could support the family is a practical risk assessment). Gosh, sometimes being an accountant works against me.
3 comments:
This is not about being a golddigger. It's about being responsible and financially compatible.
I dated a guy who was great for the most part. However, I totally shouldered the financial responsibility in our relationship. Like literally helping this dude keep the lights on in his place.
Every time I wanted to go somewhere, I had to pay for two. Two meals, two tickets, two everything! I mean, I worked at a nonprofit! I was NOT balling.
He also didn't seem motivated to change his situation. That was the real problem. I don't mind dating someone who is blue-collar or working class. So long as he is ambitious and able to take care of self.
Also, and sorry for rambling, a man has to be familiar with certain social situations. Not saying that money is the key, but some experiences are easy to come by if you have a certain level of education. Like I'm going to be a lawyer soon. Going to certain functions and whatnot. You gotta be able to walk in my world comfortably, because I sure as hell can go in and out of many different kinds of social situations.
I believe money is very important. And I'm not a gold digger; when going into relationships I wasn't on the look out for money, but when it became serious I needed to know where their head was in terms of a future. As Ms. Bourgie stated, he has to have some ambition and be willing to change his situation.
I wouldn't have a problem seriously dating someone making much less than me, but I want someone that is trying and willing to change their financial situation. I don't want the burden of a lifetime of picking up the tab. I want someone that can contribute equally and that includes financially.
It would depend on the woman's lifestyle.
If the woman had to be the breadwinner in order for them to maintain a standard of living that she deems acceptable, then he wouldn't be the guy for her. I think marrying into that situation would lead to resentment and disaster.
Otherwise, if the woman is the type to live relatively simply and way beneath her means despite her high salary, it could very well work out just fine.
I don't think it's golddiggerish (sp?) to look for security in a potential husband. That's very wise actually b/c you have to think about your future offspring and the life you'd want to provide for them.
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