Shameless Plug #2

I get uber excited when I meet people my age doing big things. So last night I went to a jazzy lil' spot which hosted a young woman's launching of her clothing line. The articles are simple and easy to wear, yet sexy. Plus I love her positivity. Beautiful women doing beautiful things :-)

Check her out at Speak Life

R.I.P. Tim Russert

Never have I cried like this over somebody I didn't know. You entertained me every Sunday morning. I felt connected with Grandma while watching you.

Honestly, I haven't cried like this over death since Grandma.

Shameless Plug

I'm so proud of my fellow alumn, even though we didn't really hang out, nor do we talk now. I absolutely enjoy the website of which she is the editor. Everything is so relevant. There are great links on her page. I liked the following articles and / or links. Please indulge yourself:

Black Women

Father's Day Good Read's for fathers

Her blogazine is my daily routine.

Funny Friday - Gasoline Universal Symbol

Funny Friday

Humor yourself for a second. Watch the following video on mute, but set it to the following lyrics a la 50 cents. (Works best when you set the video to mute, but play the offsetting song out loud).

Now, usually I'm not a fan of 50, but these lyrics are so ridiculous that I laugh and sing them in a Frank Sinatra voice.

This is a tribute to SunFresh & SunFresh brother's sense of humor. We would flip the TV to CSPAN, put it on mute then play Wu-Tang. The effect was that you had this stiff old people that appeared to be rapping hardcore lyrics about slangin' rocks in the inner streets of NYC.



I take quarter water sold it in bottles for 2 bucks,
Coca-Cola came and bought it
For billions, what the f**k?
Have a baby by me; baby
Be a millionaire
I write the check before the baby comes,
Who the f**k cares
Im stanky rich
Ima die tryna spend this sh*t
Southside's up in in this b*tch
Yeah i smell like the vault
I used to sell dope
I did play the block
Now i play on boats
In the south of France
Baby, St. Tropez
Get a tan? im already black
Rich? I'm already that

If your cup runneth over, I'm in need of a refill.

People are surprised when I talk about my relationship with God. I'm very cynical when it comes to religion, appreciate the Bible but wouldn't swear that every incident written actually happened, and am very open to learning about and accepting certain aspects of different religions (especially eastern ones, when was the last time you heard about a Bhuddist and Hindu killing each other in the name of their God?).

And I don't pretend to understand how God works. My concept of faith is accepting that I don't know - for example, I don't believe in Adam and Eve as it was written, but I don't believe in the "Big Bang" theory either. My faith leads me to believe that God created this place called earth and all on it - I don't care how, I don't care if I never know. All that matters is that we are here.

Me'shell Ndegeocello's lyrics on "Fellowship," summarize my concept of God:
You believe
Great god gonna come from the sky
Take away everything,
And make everybody feel high
But if you know what life is worth
You'll look for your's here on earth
. . . it's at hand

'cause if you believe that your god
Is better than another man
How you gonna end
All your suffering?
'cause if you believe that your god

Essentially, to me, God is the connection felt amongst all of God's creations (people, earth ect..) You could throw your hands up to the sky and "hope" for world peace...or you could donate time/money/effort to some cause that promotes it. The latter, IMO, is how a person actively connects to God.

So anywho - got a bit off subject. I'm not going to lie. 2008 has been one of my most miserable years EVER as an adult. I need turn around. Soo...if your cup runneth over with positivity, my cup needs a bit of filling!

Faux News - STFU

They continue down this path of subtle racism (or perhaps it's rather blatent).

At first I read the byline regarding them calling Michelle Obama, Barack's Baby Mama, and was marginally annoyed. But then it started to eat at me.

Even if you aren't keen on Obama, you should take offense to this. She is no more a "baby mama," than Cindy McCain is a cunt (FYI I don't use this word, there is a post below in which the associates of J.McCain reported that he called his wife one, so I've been over-using it in that context).

Black women are constantly portrayed as good for nothings in media. Here we have a Ivy League educated woman, that is in what appears to be a loving relationship and has a beautiful family...and she is reduced to the name that is played out on Maury's show?

Times like this, I question...what can I, SunFresh, do to stop this? Any suggestions?

Just wanted to link back for future reference

When I was single, I decided I wouldn't marry a man unless I could be proud if we had a son who turned out exactly like him (Dooce's website)

Shits n' Giggles - 6/11

There are several passionate crazy people who are so upset about their Democratic hopeful losing that they'd up and either become Independent and not vote, or vote for McCain. Please sign the following pledge so that your fellow American's know where you stand on issues.

I thought Arianna Huffington's commentary on the issue was insightful. At least as it pertains to reproductive rights.

Or Tim Wise: Your Whiteness is Showing is prose that makes you think...REALLY disgruntled HRC supporters, what ARE you thinking? No, REALLY?

It doesn't matter

McCain is his own worst enemy. Today when he was asked when American troops could start returning home, he responded," No, but that's not too important. What's important is the casualties in Iraq"

Um, if your husbands/wives, brothers/sisters, fathers/mothers our troops remain in Iraq, how will they NOT be the casualties?

So apparently, he's OLD and doesn't know how to use a computer. WTF? They've been around for 20 years or so. I suppose, your C*NT of a wife is supposed to learn these things and be your secretary too?

35 Articles of Impeachment

35 Articles of Impeachment

It's a pretty DRY read, but to summarize, Representative Kucinich, moved to impeach president G.W. Bush, based on 35 improper acts as president. Not 1....but 35. He covers everything from Iraq / Energy / Medicaid / Voting Rights etc.

I've never been a fan of C-SPAN, but I shit you not, I watched all 4 hours of his deliverance.

I respect Kucinich above any other representative at this point. Thank you, KucinichSo many people have resigned and/or keep on steaming along, knowing that they were lied to and/or mislead. Kucinich has declared that he does not accept being lied to and made a move do to the right thing, despite it being an unpopular move.

You've been HOSED

Again if your plan is to vote for McCain, please do enough research to ensure that he would not perpetuate these lies by keeping people close to him that are in the Bush Administration. Please ensure that you align with him on actionable issues, such as healthcare. Do not be spiteful that your candidate did not win and lay dormant and/or vote for McCain just because you like him as a person better than Obama. In doing so, you fail me...your fellow citizen. I've been lied to, those who represent me have been lied to...so PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE, at least do enough research on McCain to know that he will not continue to sell out to the those in power in the current republican party.

As a republican, you tend to be against taxes because you feel that if one profits, we all profit. So I guess it would make perfect sense to you as a republican (and Independent willing to vote for McCain) that the GOP blocked a bill that would have incresaed taxes on excessive profits made by the largest Oil Corporations.

Tiers of Love

That's right, Tiers, not Tears.

Tier 1: Two people meet, are sold on love before they are sold on each other. They get married, get to know each other and realize that they actually don't like each other and divorce. (If 50% of marriages end in divorce, then I'd say approximately 50% of the people have this type of relationship).

Tier 2: Two people meet and have a solid companionship. Sometimes they are totally in love with each other, sometimes they are not. Their feeling of connectedness throughout the relationship ebs and flows. They function well together, could raise a family, but you rarely see them all googly eyed over each other. They love each other all the time, but aren't always in love with each other. However, on a really low trough in the relationship, they might decide to divorce. (I'd say that about 45% of marriages are like this).

Tier 3: Two people meet and are in love, and stay IN LOVE. They greet each other like the first time every time. They might even eb and flow a bit; however, it's not for prolonged period of times. And if there ever is a low trough, they stick it out because their love is that resiliant and strong. (I'd say about 5% of marriages are like this).

Translate into a dating world...I think folks expect Tier 3; when really according to the SunFresh Institution of Statistics, Tier 3 is only reserved for 5% of the population.

My mother often laughs when I complain about Mr. 2-Year man, "he's this but he isn't that." She is cynical (which cynicism is born out of truth) and is like, "NO man is perfect, so if you expect him to be, you be waiting for a LONG LONG time." I can honestly say that I've adjusted my expectations for men. NOTE that I said adjusted, not lowered. Men communicate differently and have a logic-based view of the world. (I'm using generalizaitons, this would be forever long if I put in every caveat). I can't expect for a man to communicate and understand me emotionally the same way that a friend would. A LOT of my frustration with Mr. 2-Year man has been that he doesn't understand me emotionally at times. Perhaps he's just not supposed to, and that would place us in Tier 2, instead of Tier 3. Which, quite honestly, I'd rather have a Tier 2 and start building a life with somebody now, than wait until I'm 40+ and find my 5% Tier 3.

Perhpas I do have *issues*

So on one of my favorite message boards a girl posts a lighthearted subject.

"It's really not okay for a grown man to initiate footsie. i don't care how sexy you think your man feet are. i'll give exceptions for spooning/after sex situations, albeit hesitantly. but really, if you're on my couch watching a movie, and i am at the opposite end, don't reach your feet over to play coyly with mine. or put them in my lap. especially when i don't like you like that, nor have shown any signs to like you like that"

My initial response, "errr uhhh - why is a dude that you don't like 'like that' at your house on your couch with you alone? that's how chics get date raped."

And I was dead serious.

Of course this perspective comes from a personal situation in which I was physically assaulted (not raped, but I easily could have been). I was younger, thought it was cool to chill with a dude and not feel obligated to "put out." You could say that you should never feel obligated to put out. It's not about obligation - it's about if I send certain signals to you, I shant be surprised if you pick up on them and get a bit out of line. To me, a signal is calling you up and inviting you over in the evening on a weekend night.

So as a lesson learned, I have a personal rule...if I'm not open to doing something physically with you, there is NO reason for us to be alone, in the house, at night, watching a movie. That's what my girlfriends are for.

Lots of folks have told me to seek counseling b/c I have such a jaded view of men at times. But I'm like, this rule will NEVER change and I'm going to make it clear to my daughter - do not put yourself in a situation in which you could lose control of the situation. Sure some stuff is unavoidable. Perhaps I should teach her that men perceive action differently at times. I don't know what I'll really teach her. But I will not be comfortable her being alone with a man at night watching a movie that is twice her size and four times her strength with whom she has no desire to be physical with.

I toy with counseling over this issue cuz it permeates many aspects of my life and how I related to men. But errr - I just don't wanna *crosses arms like a 5 year old and pouts*

So apparently McCain's wife is a Trollop and a CUNT

According to McCain. I was parusing through blog world and saw a commentor mention this lil' reported fact.

Here is questioned by a reporter
Here is the story as reporting by Huffington Post

Trollup was a new word to me. According to Dictionary.com a trollop is a woman that sleeps with many men for money.

Umm - I think that endearing political fist bump trumps being called a trollop and cunt.

Please make sure to tell at least one person about this - as the media fails to take this and run with it.

Perhaps this is a non-issue...however, this tells you a LOT about a person's character. You are supposed to respect your wife above all other people (right?). If you disrespect your wife, I can't imagine what might come out of your mouth to some of these leaders of opposing nations. We need to reconcile, not further alienate the USA.

Wanted to memorialize this...

Your lover kisses you and you feel a tremor in the back in your knees.
The synopsis fire, sending orders to move your legs...move your arms.
he's the one for you.
he's the man of your dreams.
he's your one and only.
And you know because the smell of him makes your head swim
Because you get a physical jolt
Everytime he sends a glance your way.
he touches you here [hand]
...and you feel it here [throb in the clit].
You touch him anywhere and
You feel it everywhere.

- Alice @ The L Word (cept the he's are she's and the him's are hers)

Happy Day

Dr. just asked me to be her Maid of Honor. Hoooray. Dr. is my GIRL. Ride or Die. She's ALWAYS been there for me, even if she didn't agree with me. And same with me. There is no room for judgement because unconditional love exists.

So now, I'm onto planning the Bachelorette Party in none other than MIA!!!!

I've seen Dr. grow up so much in the past 8 years. She's matured into a lovely, loving young woman.

Nothing will be sacred...

I know you saw the picture of Michelle giving Obama dap. DAP, that's what WE call it. If you must ask WE who? both you and I have either lived very different lives, or perhaps you are from a different generation.

CNN now calls it the, "political fist bump." WTF. Naw, that was Michelle giving her man DAP before his acceptance speech. Some folks kiss, some folks hug, but apparently the Obama's give each other endearing DAP. That's something that is not foreign to US; however, it's now being exposed. It won't be long before you see two non-black WASP executives giving each other DAP upon the execution of a major contract.

I know you heard Anderson Cooper and Donna Brazille decipher if they were each other's BOO. While boo can be debated as to whether that's a derogatory and/or pathetic term to call your loved one, I always thought it had a simple cute ring to it. Matter of fact, my best work friend and I called each other, "work-boos." CNN also had a dissection of what the term Boo means.

I can say I've been at fault for sharing terms. Take for example bourgeois...or simply bougie. I said this around my all non-black co-workers and they were like, "huh...what is this bougie word that you speak of?" I thought EVERYBODY used that term, but apparently, that's something more common amongst US.

I'm not saying it's bad, I'm just concluding that endearing means of communication that are unique to the black American venacular are about to become mainstream with the Obama's in the spotlight.

Portia

Dear Grandma,

You never failed to write a card and send your love. Your birthday is coming up. I think of you quite often. There are several times when I tear up missing you. Every time I look at your daughter, my mother I see you. I look at my shape and thank you. My elbows are ashy right now, lol, if you were here, I am sure you'd comment and I'd run and get some lotion. And every time my bra strap shows, I tuck it away because I hear you telling me to. And I can sleep with the lights off because you gave me that sense of safety. That's actually quite profound now that I really think about that. The dark represents the unknown, you helped me to be fearless in the face of the unknown..in many more aspects of life. You taught me about love of people. You were the best conversationalist. You were the friendliest person...nobody was a stranger. Especially in Chester. You weren't wasteful at all...I still eat everything on my plate. And like you, I conserve paper towels, lol, if I just use them to dry my hands, I'll set it out to dry so that I can reuse it. When I'm too lazy to vacuum, sometimes I pick randoms off of the floor like you used to do. Sundays I wake up and I watch all of the Sunday morning news shows that you used to. And I've even come to appreciate and love my grandfather in a way that I believe that you think would be appropriate. I truly believe that he loved you. I live in your favorite city in the United States. You smelled wonderful, like Obsession mixed with spearmint gum. You are here with me in my hotel room right now, I am sure because you're presence is so overwhelmingly strong.

When I was coming of age, you told me what it means to be a democrat. You told me to always vote democrat. Did you ever think that your legacy would be alive to vote for a black democrat...for President?

Love,
Me
June 2, 2008

Where were you when Obama won the democratic nomination?

I was in Chili's in the Galleria Mall in Houston, Texas eating salmon, broccoli and rice. I called my best friend, my quasi-on-off-again boyfriend, and all of my family members.

Walking from the mall to the hotel, I told every random black person, "Obama just won the democratic nomination." They'd smile and sit a lil' taller.

I don't think people understand why this is monumental.

My grandmother remembers when her right to vote was reinforced (1963).
My father remembers when the schools in Durham, NC were desegregated (mid 1960s).
I remember being the ONLY black student in my elementary school in the 1980s.


NOW WE HAVE A BI-RACIAL (BLACK BY USA STANDARDS) PRESIDENTIAL NOMINEE.

*FAINT*

WATCHING THE SPEECH
He LOVES his family. You see how intimate the lil' dap it up between them was. She looked at him and thought, "My Man," (c) Jay-Z.

Stop stop stop stop. This is crazy crazy crazy. Wonderful wonderful wonderful.

SEE SEX AND THE CITY

Best movie ever.

and there was even a tribute to Golden Girls...they named the new baby Rose.

This movie was better than most of the real life shit I see on these here innernets...it's about LOVE. Not that pretty shit that we see in fairy tales.

It's the love you have for a person even after they leave you alone at the alter.
It's the love you have for a person even after they cheat on you.
It's the love you have for a friend that has withheld information b/c they didn't know how to tell you their truth.
It's the love you have for a friend in their darkest, ugliest moments.

All too often do we leave people alone when they're down in the gutter. People...we need love. When somebody does you wrong...they need Mercy...the need Love. We don't treat others wrong because we hate them...we treat them wrong because we hate ourselves....Love is what a person needs most in their times of betrayal. Yes it's hard to give love when you feel like they don't deserve it...but LOVE (GOD) is what people NEED when they can't find the strength to love themselves...or you.

*teenage girl OMG squeal*

I feel bad, cuz my last post was all grown-up and serious...but OMG.... (edit - I changed the time of posting so that the SATC would come after this...figured, I'd end on a mature note for the night).

So I live in Ohio from kindergarden through 9th grade (10 years). My formative years were spent there. I got madd love for all my experiences that happened there. (even if I am a bit jaded and assimilated more than your average black person).

The class of 1999 high school graduation is being planned and on facebook, I've been able to reconnect to a handful of people.

With that being said. As a little girl I had the BIGGEST crush on this guy...we'll call him Trinidad. Why, because he was from Trinidad.

I don't know how you grew up, but to me there were essentially 4 races, and I didn't understand the concept of Globalization. Black, white yellow and brown. Quite honestly, not until 2008 did I understand that "West Indians" were called as such because a lot of Indians...from India...were transported to the islands. I just thought they were mixed african/european decent ending up in the darker skin with the silky hair.

So Trinidad - growing up I always thought he was black...black American. In my older age, I understand that good portion of people from Trinidad/Tobago trace their roots to India rather than Africa. So dude wasn't African-American or Black. He was "West Indian." Growing up in an all white town, he did as most did - assimilate and only like white girls.

So on facebook, I found him, sent a friend invite and a silly msg saying, "I moved away in '96, but you haven't changed a bit." He responded, "looking good girl, looks like you made it south, i still look like im young but im a grown ass man girl haha"

Seriously, I got up off the couch and did a happy girl dance. I am planning on going back. I might try to make the most of my elementary/middle school fantasies with the dude. He likes him some chocolate these days!!!! :-) Hoooray.

Tipping Point

My team decides to take advantage of this slow, quiet Friday by taking an hour and a half lunch to eat at a local restaurant. Red offers to drive and she suggests that a smaller 3rd person ride with her in the MiniCooper. Me being the smallest person and HUNGRY says sure, I've never ridden in one...let's go.

On our lil' trip to the resaraunt, she mentions that her and her life partner are selling their jeep and are going to function with one car for at least a year. Her S/O drops her off at the bus stop that is a 10 minute walk from their house and she takes MARTA into work. MARTA IS SMARTA. At $4/gallon, this is SMART. This is truly a tipping point.

People kept guessing what the tipping point would be. When gas was at $2.99/gallon folks vowed to change their habits if it hit $3.50/gallon...but they didn't. They may have cut out a few joy-rides, but there was no drastic change. But selling a car and taking public transportation - that truly represents a tipping point. I wonder how long until I follow her lead. Or what else I will sacrifice so that I can afford my commute to work.

Seocnd - WHY OH WHY is there so much hoopla about Scott McKellen? Have folks not read The Assualt on Reason? Al Gore made the same claims. I suppose you wouldn't expect the truth to come from inside your house. Great leaders within G.Bush's administration started dropping like flies because they saw through the bullish and didn't want to be caught up in the legacy of lies. Perhaps we should be mad at them for being complacent when they knew Bush's lack of debate and reason was evident.

Third - I just saw news about Pakistan's government's involvment in Nuclear Weapon information and support of Iran/N. Korea. I got to thinking. If people were half as preoccupied with the threat that this could pose to America as they are about same-sex unions....oh nevermind, same-sex unions cause Nuclear Weapons. Like really, if in the next 5 years there was a nuclear assualt on US territory more catastrophic than that of 9/11, would the fact that two men got married REALLY be important? Perhaps in some folk's last breath they'd say..."but it was Adam and Eve....not Adam and Ste," ....flatline.

Fourth - Yea!!! Just signed up with a summer kickball league :-) Got to dust off my kickball skills. In all actuality, I'm quite excited / yet anxious to meet new people. The team is organized through the Alumni Association. I really haven't gotten to know my "Majority" Alumni in the area and my black Alumni organization doesn't do sports leagues. WTF - Why must we be so divided?

Shits n' Giggles

Dear Dr. Laura:

Thank you for doing so much to educate people regarding God’s Law. I have learned a great deal from your show, and try to share that knowledge with as many people as I can. When someone tries to defend the homosexual lifestyle, for example, I simply remind them that Leviticus 18:22 clearly states it to be an abomination. End of debate. I do need some advice from you, however, regarding some of the other specific laws and how to follow them:

When I burn a bull on the altar as a sacrifice, I know it creates a pleasing odor for the Lord - Lev.1:9. The problem is my neighbors. They claim the odor is not pleasing to them. Should I smite them?

I would like to sell my daughter into slavery, as sanctioned in Exodus 21:7. In this day and age, what do you think would be a fair price for her?

I know that I am allowed no contact with a woman while she is in her period of menstrual uncleanliness - Lev.15:19- 24. The problem is, how do I tell? I have tried asking, but most women take offense.

Lev. 25:44 states that I may indeed possess slaves, both male and female, provided they are purchased from neighboring nations. A friend of mine claims that this applies to Mexicans, but not Canadians. Can you clarify? Why can’t I own Canadians?

I have a neighbor who insists on working on the Sabbath. Exodus 35:2 clearly states he should be put to death. Am I morally obligated to kill him myself?

A friend of mine feels that even though eating shellfish is an abomination - Lev. 11:10, it is a lesser abomination than homosexuality. I don’t agree. Can you settle this?

Lev. 21:20 states that I may not approach the altar of God if I have a defect in my sight. I have to admit that I wear reading glasses. Does my vision have to be 20/20, or is there some wiggle room here?

Most of my male friends get their hair trimmed, including the hair around their temples, even though this is expressly forbidden by Lev. 19:27. How should they die?

I know from Lev. 11:6-8 that touching the skin of a dead pig makes me unclean, but may I still play football if I wear gloves?

My uncle has a farm. He violates Lev. 19:19 by planting two different crops in the same field, as does his wife by wearing garments made of two different kinds of thread (cotton/polyester blend). He also tends to curse and blaspheme a lot. Is it really necessary that we go to all the trouble of getting the whole town together to stone them? - Lev.24:10-16. Couldn’t we just burn them to death at a private family affair like we do with people who sleep with their in-laws? (Lev. 20:14)

-Anonymous

Please advise anonymous.

Men: It must be harder than I thought

My recent conversations with FIGO have made my *heart* go out to you men.

I'm not saying that I'm the MOST impressive woman out there. Heck, there is a LOT more that I could be doing. But I'm not half shabby.

But on more than one occassion he has said, "wow, that's really unique," or "wow, I'm surprised."

Clearly his experiences with other women have set the bar pretty low.

Yes, I'm decisive (especially when it comes to dining).
Yes, I've been educated at a top-notch University.
Yes, I've got a bubbly personality but like to read BBC news and have serious discussions.
Yes, I like fishing, hiking, watching sports.
Yes, I was the co-captain of the basketball team many moons ago.
Yes, I have opinions and I'm not scared to voice them.
Yes, I've done a lil' bit of traveling and am down for adventure.

IMO, he's got potential to attract quality women as well. He's a gentleman, got a nice build, has a sense of humor, can converse about an array of topics, has good job that affords him some nice material things, has had a quality up-bringing. I could see where the flighty woman might say he's too nice. He's a bit older (35) than I'd prefer; however, he's focused on his career...he's had jobs in which he travels more than 30% of the time for quite some time, which makes it difficult to sustain a relationship.

Posting while tipsy...

Went to one of my favorite establishments on a Thurs night in my city.

I really haven't been out in a minute. People were like, "wow, I haven't seen you in so long. Where have you been?" Glad to know that I am missed. I don't like saturating the scene...not trying to be a cheap commodity.

I stepped his game up for him. He's so tall and has a brilliant smile, so he gets a slight pass. He's got a good heart, he's just young and moved to ATL (too many attractive quality women). It's cool dude, we're adults...we don't "watch movies" anymore. That's how you bait a college chic over to your house. Conversation and genuine interest work a bit better.

BUY Estelle NOW. Her CD is priceless.

Do people think cheating is a phenomena of the 2000s

Is this just something that's new between 1990 and 2008?

There is a follow-up to this question....

What I love about being a black woman

I bit this topic from my favorite black-pop-culture website

What I love about being a black woman is that often times people have stereotypes about black women that I don't fit. So I surprise them and rise above their low expectations.

Perhaps that wasn't a good topic to expand upon because I'm drawing blanks left and right about more specific things I love about being a black woman.

Beauty and other things..

Bikini Wax
So I called to make an appointment to get a wax. My waxonista is on vacation, so I'm getting a new person for the occassion. This is like having sex the first time with somebody new. I'm nervous.

Hair
As a woman, I've probably spent thousands over my lifetime on the perfect concoction of hair care products. I've slipped into the boobie trap in which the more you pay the better your hair looks.

Well, it appears that everything comes full circle.

I started out on Pan "Don't hate me because I'm beautifl," Tene.
Then I tried Motions - which ended up weighing down my hair.
Next...for a long time and even now sometimes Paul Mitchell.
But I got cheap recently and started using Pantene again. My hair shines like never before.

Throwback for your enjoyment:

I'm bad at Chess, and that is OK with me.

With all this talk about dating being cut n' dry easy. If you're just not into him or he's just not into you ...move on. Most of this from single people. I developed a rule within the past 2 years...to primarily take advice from married people, or people in successful committed relationships. I don't think relationships are easy and I certainly think that there is an element of patience that people need to have on so many levels. Nobody is perfect, timing is not always right etc...so to cut somebody off at the knee-cap after the first woopah is rather rash...IMO.

With that being said, the other day this guy at work sparked up a brief conversation. We exchanged names, he sent an e-mail to ask me out to lunch. I wasn't head over heels attracted to him, but what the heck, why not go out with him? So we just got back from our lunch date and I think his personality is really dope. We have similar elitist tendencies (it's not that deep - we're school snobs) and have similar outlooks on dating in ATL, education, politics etc. I found it funny that he visibly attempted to search for politically correct things to say; however, I prefer to skip over the facade of who we assume will impress the other person. So I encouraged him to stop searching for "the right word," and say what came to mind. I feel like I could've talked to him all afternoon. I can't sit here and say that I started fantasizing about naughty things while talking to him...but I figure I'll give it a few more dates before I push him completely into the friend bucket. So after the date he sametimes me and we have the following convo:

SunFresh: I definitely had a good time at lunch...thank you again. Decent food :-)~ Good conversation!
FIGO: Thanks...i thoroughly enjoyed myself. It's refreshing to finally meet someone u can sit with for an hour and not immediately put them in the 'no' category.
SunFresh: lol - I hear that! Perhaps we can catch up before you head out of country or when you get back
FIGO: wow SunFresh...ur right to the point...and that i definitely like. takes all the pressure off of me! LOL
SunFresh: let's just say I'm not good at Chess, even worse at the game of "dating" I don't really try to calcluate the next move
FIGO: yeah, i call it shooting from the hip. it works wonders in this dating thing....as i'm slowly learning. and yes, i would love to get together again....b4 i go.

We made plans to go before he flies out of country for work...

SunFresh sounds good to me! SunFresh phone (xxx-xxx-xxxx). What is your # so that I don't ignore the call when it pops up lol
FIGO: geez, i couldnt type fast enough to ask!
SunFresh: wow - maybe i should attempt to be a bit more coy
FIGO: NO! if u only knew. be exactly like u r.

A few observations...he's 35 (*sigh* why do I attract older men?). He's got his MBA from a top 20, travels extensively. He alluded to the fact that he's seeking more stability in his life. He wonders why I'm single b/c he said that I'm attractive and he's sure that guys approach me all the time (true..but quantity < quality). I gather that he's not over-the top confident and recognizes that he can attract women with his personality rather than being that super-flashy dude.

Honor, Integrity and Respect

Words of the week. We all get the textbook definition of them; however, it's much harder to practice than to define at times.

I can honestly say that I've been struggling with these qualities lately. Not because I'm a base or bad person, but because I'm non-confrontational and have a desire to go with the flow. Plus I tend to vent on these here internets...which at times gives you false sense of privacy amongst strangers. As they say at disney..it's a small world after all.

There are two recent situations in which I avoided and/or did not express my true thoughts (thus not demonstrating honor, integrity and respect).

So upon self-epiphanies...the logical next step is to move away from what you feel you are lacking. First question...why am I non-confrontational and/or like to go with the flow?

At times I associate these qualities with "bitchiness." For example, if you are doing something that I don't like, but isn't detrimental to me or others, rather than telling you, I'll just avoid you. I could call you out for this "thing" that you're doing, but I might feel like I'm being -nit-picky and bitchy.

Often times the right decisions/actions don't FEEL good. For example, instead telling you what I didn't care for but wasn't detrimental, I might vent to another person, because I find relief in getting it off my chest.

Often times I perceive that the assumed consequences of confrontation are worse than non-confrontation. For example if I think telling you XYZ might damage or distort an otherwise comfortable situation, I might opt to do nothing.

But ohhh the conundrum - sometimes it's hard to confront people you don't care much for...like at work, ditzy chic did a LOT of annoying stuff, but it took a VERY drastic situation for me to confront her. I would've let her slide on quite a bit b/c while it's annoying it doesn't affect my working situation and my job values her. So instead I just avoid her and try to distance. While this situation isn't quite what I'm having my epiphany over - it's very representative of the situations that got me to this epiphany.

And don't think your immune. We all have times when we get out of line...but it's more about how you recognize your wrong and go about making a right.

Ehh - this post was more for me to really think things out.

Menz...

To capture my love life, or lack thereof...

Cooled things off with two-year man. We're still friends, that's just it...we work best as friends. Oh - and I'm going to the wedding rehearsal and wedding with him. Hopefully I can convince him to go to MJQ afterward, even though that place isn't his style.

Had a vacationship encounter with a fellow that has potential. However, he's made it pretty clear that since he just moved to ATL, he's content in being an attractive, tall, educated guy with good money: READ - Women are doing stupid shit to get his attention and I don't really care to get on their level.

Met a random dude in the hall Monday morning at work. We had a brief introduction and I get a random e-mail from him. First e-mail is to confirm that he had the right person. I had half the mind to say no...but I said yes. Second e-mail was to ask me to lunch. Really? Picking up women in work in such a direct, forward manner. Is that PC? Is that okay? He's not in my group and I would never cross paths with him professionally.

Ran into dude @ work that I previously had a semi-crush on. A birdie told me that he's not so-much into women. Upon this second meeting, I don't understand why I didn't pick that up the first couple of times that I saw him.

Deal with it...

If you vote for Clinton, you're uneducated and white.

Rehearsal Dinner vs. Black Thought

First, if you know who Black Thought is you gained 2 cool points in my book. I'm an Avid "The Roots," fan. Such the fan that I was planning on going to see ?love and Black Thought do a set at MJQ on Friday night. Apparently ?love is going to DJ and play some songs off of the new album. Not quite a concert, but quite awesome. Plus I have an ugly man crush on Black Thought.

Well, the ex and I were just casually talking and he invites me to his brother's wedding rehearsal dinner...and the wedding. I said yes b/c I didn't want to say no. But now I'm kinda freaked out. I wouldn't mind hanging out with him...but a family wedding. It is so intimate and personal. I am already feeling awkward. *bitch relax*.

My favorite The Roots song



Most relevant lines...
Your first impression might be I'm a asshole
Or say I'm sometimey and give people a hassle
Or try to suntouch and put the heat in the capsule
Dog I'm far deeper than that though; I get in the zone
Recognize I'm a rolling stone
No time to lollygag or lounge with scaliwags

God vs. Tire

Ladies...

say you were in the beginning stages of kicking it with a fellow. chemistry was there, you got along.

well your girlfriend's car gets a flat tire on the street that he lives on, but you're with her and you two would feel more comfortable if a man could either stay with you while AAA came or changed the tire himself. You give him a call asking for his help and he says, "nope, I'm going to church." He doesn't offer any alternatives.

Do you continue to date him?

My take on it...going to church is practice, helping a person out is the game. He's about to be put on the bench...permanently.

Ovaries vs. Brain

I'm contemplating going back to school to get an MBA. How did I come to this conclusion? I'm 27 and have no prospects for a husband which will lead to a child...AKA: The nice little ferry tale life that is sold to you from birth until the present.

So I'm wondering if a B-School personal statement could go something like this: I'm not using my ovaries, so as an alternative, I'm going to use my brain.

I want another accomplishment by the time that I'm 30. If I enroll in the 2009 year, I'll graduate 2 months after my 30th. Then I'll be on my way to making 6 figures. I remember when my first degree was conferred upon me - it was such an overwhelmingly magnificent feeling. I took SO much pride in it. I want that feeling again. I've lost stamina and B-School will reenergize me.