Quiz
What was your score?
Me - I got an 83%. (10/12).
7.18.2008
Today's actions dictate future outcomes.
Your present is your future if you don't start changing who you are and how you act NOW.
When was that last time you were touched?
With tenderness with no hidden motives? Apparently, it's been a while. I found this article to be so on point. Here is one line from it:
A refrain I hear frequently from female friends and clients is that once the sexual passion has waned, affectionate touch goes out of the window too. “I can't give him a simple cuddle without him thinking I want sex!” women moan. That's because he learnt not to have “emotional” hugs long ago. So when a woman offers him one, he thinks she's signalling full-on passion.
7.17.2008
Date
Me have a date tomorrow. Ehhh - I should be excited. But I've been out with this guy 3-4 different times. He is so attractive to me. Got a brain (Engineer PhD candidate), got passion (volunteers heavily in the Obama campaign). But our chemistry is like vinegar and water.
I tease him because he's like a middle schooler. When we hug, it's assess out. I'm not saying I want him to cop a cup o' A&T....but an embrace would be nice. And he's still in school, and used to a school schedule...so sometimes he calls or pings me and invites me over after hours. I've had to check him on that...might work for his 'school-mates," but I'm not driving $4.05 25 minutes to see him after 10 pm. In grown folk speak that is a booty call. I've explicitly told him not to invite me over and/or out during booty-call hours.
So finally, he took the hard hint. He invited me on a swanky date (art + music) early in the evening.
I tease him because he's like a middle schooler. When we hug, it's assess out. I'm not saying I want him to cop a cup o' A&T....but an embrace would be nice. And he's still in school, and used to a school schedule...so sometimes he calls or pings me and invites me over after hours. I've had to check him on that...might work for his 'school-mates," but I'm not driving
So finally, he took the hard hint. He invited me on a swanky date (art + music) early in the evening.
How in Tarnation
Is McCain chipping away at Obama's lead?
If you are a self-respecting woman...you would not entrust the this country to McCain. (Please, I welcome you to debate this opinion of mine).
Perhaps if you WOULD entrust this country to him, you'd also allow your daughter to...
Marry a man that left his previous wife after a terrible accident (this is the reason that McCain's relationship with the Reagans was damaged)
Left his wife for a rich WASPY chic who funded his dream of being the most powerful country in the world
Called his rich WASPY wife a trollup and a cunt
Makes jokes about rape
Read Here. Again, I invite a woman to tell me why she'd vote for him. I mean really, I'd rather you just not vote at all (and then move to Canada or Mexico).
If you are a self-respecting woman...you would not entrust the this country to McCain. (Please, I welcome you to debate this opinion of mine).
Perhaps if you WOULD entrust this country to him, you'd also allow your daughter to...
Marry a man that left his previous wife after a terrible accident (this is the reason that McCain's relationship with the Reagans was damaged)
Left his wife for a rich WASPY chic who funded his dream of being the most powerful country in the world
Called his rich WASPY wife a trollup and a cunt
Makes jokes about rape
Read Here. Again, I invite a woman to tell me why she'd vote for him. I mean really, I'd rather you just not vote at all (and then move to Canada or Mexico).
Correct me if I'm wrong.
Catholicism doesn't really work when you're sexually active prior to marriage.
Like, if you are laying down with a person that you don't want to have a child with, but don't believe in birth control/abortion...you are essentially asking for a child out of wedlock, no?
Like, if you are laying down with a person that you don't want to have a child with, but don't believe in birth control/abortion...you are essentially asking for a child out of wedlock, no?
LOA - Actualization #3
I'm taking this laws of attraction thing SO Seriously. I'm not taking actual count of the number of times I've asked for something and it materialized before my eyes, but I've got a handful of examples already.
This past weekend I created a Vision Board. Essentially, I have several affirmations on it and personal statements / pictures of what I excpect from my future. Also this week, CreoleInDC had a topic that is very in line with my focus right now: What's Your Plan Man: Asking where do you see yourself in 5 years. My response is below...
@ Age 32:
Personally: I am married and have started having children. We live an active lifestyle, and travel at least annually. We live in a comfortably nice home and are active in the community. We recycle. We visit family often.
Professionally: I'm in my 3rd position at my current Company, making at least $100,000. I am also serving on one Board of a NFP.
*Thanks for posting, need to put this on my Vision Board*
So on the professional tip - I identified a woman that is very successful and has had a career path that I envision myself having...and I'm not going to speculate how much she makes; however, I'm sure that it's well above my 6 figure goal. As the laws of attractions recommends...when you ask or specify what you want...the next step is to receive and act as if you already have it. On the elevator to get my breakfast (Two boiled eggs and a coffee); I reminded myself of her.
Who the heck do I see in the cafe? HER. My mind began going in overdrive, knowing that I had to put my desire out into the Universe. To let her know my intent. So like the dork that I am I approached her and said, "Hi Hero, I'd like to build a relationship with you. I look at your career path and I'd like to understand how you got to where you are because I'd like to take a similar path."
I'm on her Calendar for lunch in a few weeks! Yea, for me asking, believing and making action to receive!
This stuff really works y'all. Don't sleep on it.
This past weekend I created a Vision Board. Essentially, I have several affirmations on it and personal statements / pictures of what I excpect from my future. Also this week, CreoleInDC had a topic that is very in line with my focus right now: What's Your Plan Man: Asking where do you see yourself in 5 years. My response is below...
@ Age 32:
Personally: I am married and have started having children. We live an active lifestyle, and travel at least annually. We live in a comfortably nice home and are active in the community. We recycle. We visit family often.
Professionally: I'm in my 3rd position at my current Company, making at least $100,000. I am also serving on one Board of a NFP.
*Thanks for posting, need to put this on my Vision Board*
So on the professional tip - I identified a woman that is very successful and has had a career path that I envision myself having...and I'm not going to speculate how much she makes; however, I'm sure that it's well above my 6 figure goal. As the laws of attractions recommends...when you ask or specify what you want...the next step is to receive and act as if you already have it. On the elevator to get my breakfast (Two boiled eggs and a coffee); I reminded myself of her.
Who the heck do I see in the cafe? HER. My mind began going in overdrive, knowing that I had to put my desire out into the Universe. To let her know my intent. So like the dork that I am I approached her and said, "Hi Hero, I'd like to build a relationship with you. I look at your career path and I'd like to understand how you got to where you are because I'd like to take a similar path."
I'm on her Calendar for lunch in a few weeks! Yea, for me asking, believing and making action to receive!
This stuff really works y'all. Don't sleep on it.
7.14.2008
Chew on this...
During the days of slavery a black child was more likely to grow up living with both parents than he or she is today. ~ The Abolition of Marriage, by Maggie Gallagher
7.13.2008
Teachers: Do you buy your own classroom supplies?"
If so, about how much do you spend?
Do you get state issued gift cards? Are you reimbursed otherwise?
Are your students at a disadvantage because you don't spend as much as you'd like to spend?
How do you purchase supplies: Online or at the store?
PLEASE Comment (if you're not a teacher, ask a friend who is a teacher and report back!)
An idea of giving was born in my head...I need data to make it a reality!
Do you get state issued gift cards? Are you reimbursed otherwise?
Are your students at a disadvantage because you don't spend as much as you'd like to spend?
How do you purchase supplies: Online or at the store?
PLEASE Comment (if you're not a teacher, ask a friend who is a teacher and report back!)
An idea of giving was born in my head...I need data to make it a reality!
What are you grateful / thankful for?
A happy post. Let the positive energy get ya!
Grateful for waking up and finishing my book
Grateful for the friendship I've developed with somebody new.
Grateful that I am able to gift my friend a free trip to Miami.
Grateful for winning my kickball yesterday!
Grateful for waking up and finishing my book
Grateful for the friendship I've developed with somebody new.
Grateful that I am able to gift my friend a free trip to Miami.
Grateful for winning my kickball yesterday!
Timing & effort turns f.uck into love.
Last night I spent about $800 on things that I need to in order to live up to my commitment to be a Maid of Honor in my best friends wedding. In the process, I was online with my BFF and we were trying to find flights, and share other ideas. At some point I say what I've been focused on as of late. The desire for a fulfilling relationship that will lead me to follow in her footsteps of marriage.
Immediately she asked what type of guy I want. Lol, she then started sending me profiles of guys that fit the loose description on match.com. Hey, I've got to appreciate her creativity. So then I realized that immediately after I broke up with 2-year man, I had created a match.com profile. At some point when 2-year man and I got back together, I deleted the profile. But when I went to match.com, my old user name was pre-populated in the log-in. I reactivated my account. Mind you, I haven't yet paid for the services. So this is like going inside of your favorite department store and forgetting all of your credit/debit cards. You see what you might want take home; however, you need the money.
But then I got a little curious. Another friend recently signed up on e-harmony. So I went over there. Let me tell you, filling out that profile is something arduous. But you know what - it should be. It takes you through no less than 200 questions that let complex computer logarithms identify who you are and who will receive you well. After going through the questions, it provides you with a "report," and lists matches. Mind you...not having paid for the service, I can't even see pictures.
bear with me, I haven't even gotten to the point, but I'm discovering a few other points as I purge these thoughts .
So my personality profile categorized me as, "Agreeable taking care of others or taking care of yourself." And of course, as I read the description, I was like, yep that's me...those 200 questions and the complex computer logarithm shits me not. Then I went on to read the profile of 5 initial matches.
You realize that the type of people you attract is a reflection of who you are, right? So if you ever question what's wrong with the people that God's put in your life, the first place to look is the mirror. The benefit of putting out who you are on the computer is that the element of physical attraction is removed.
Physical attraction is perhaps one of the strongest initial forms of attraction. However, it's so fluid and easily morphed. Emotional/mental attraction; however, takes time to develop; and as long as you remain constant in what you want and who you are, what you are attracted to and what's attracted to you rarely chagne.
Most people that see me would imagine that I have no problem meeting people. I get cues from society that I'm generally attractive. Not a model by any means, but if I'm out, I'll without a doubt notice that people are appreciating what they see. But that honestly has been one of my biggest impediments to developing the type of relationship that I want. People often perceive me as sexual. Not just men, but I've even heard women say that I exude sexuality. I'll be frank...I've got a nice body. While I don't walk around letting it all hang out, I also don't wear a Bhurka hiding all that I've worked hard for and appreciate about my body. So I put out an era of confidence about my body, which attracts people to my body. For example, put a form fitting t-shirt on an A-cup woman...you might notice her smile. Put a form fitting t-shirt on a C-cup woman you notice her shape (boobs) first...then her smile.
However, if you read the blog...I don't have a preoccupation with appearance. I'm pretty entertained by political discussions and interactions with and observations of people. I'd like to attract a man with these similar interests/curiosities.
There is a lot that I value more than physical appearance; however, given that physical attraction is the strongest form of initial attraction (and men are visual creatures), they have a hard time getting past this and in turn put forth their desires regarding me. Which initially is not to know me, it's to fuck me. Yes I said fuck. Sex takes two general forms, fucking and making love. If you don't care to know me, you have absolutely no interest in making love to me...you'd simply like to fuck me.
So part of my trouble in relationships has been feeling comfortable with this attention, but using it to my advantage...and honestly letting time and genuine effort turn a man's desire to fuck me into a desire to make love to me. I'm not saying I jump in the sack on the first date, but let's be real, there is a long pathway between hello and I love you and who's to say when "the right time," to do that thing is. Clearly, I haven't gotten the right-time-thing quite figured out and what I've been doing thus far hasn't resulted in my desired outcome. Hence, I'm taking a vow of abstinence at least until the end of 2008.
Mind you, I'm not one to believe in abstinence until marriage...don't want an unpleasant surprise on my wedding night (actually it's deeper than that, for me to feel a complete connection with a person, I need to experience the trinity in them...mind body and soul. Leave one out of that equation and I wouldn't commit my life to a person until I got an understanding of all 3). And I think women like Joan on Girlfriends with a set "3-month" fail to realize that whether you do it after the first week or after 3 months...a dude will stay around whether he truly likes you or not to have sex. Matter of fact, he might take pride in himself for conquering your 3 month rule, but still not like you enough to love you.
this post has taken a complete different path of where I intended it to go. So I'll end it here and just post again.
Immediately she asked what type of guy I want. Lol, she then started sending me profiles of guys that fit the loose description on match.com. Hey, I've got to appreciate her creativity. So then I realized that immediately after I broke up with 2-year man, I had created a match.com profile. At some point when 2-year man and I got back together, I deleted the profile. But when I went to match.com, my old user name was pre-populated in the log-in. I reactivated my account. Mind you, I haven't yet paid for the services. So this is like going inside of your favorite department store and forgetting all of your credit/debit cards. You see what you might want take home; however, you need the money.
But then I got a little curious. Another friend recently signed up on e-harmony. So I went over there. Let me tell you, filling out that profile is something arduous. But you know what - it should be. It takes you through no less than 200 questions that let complex computer logarithms identify who you are and who will receive you well. After going through the questions, it provides you with a "report," and lists matches. Mind you...not having paid for the service, I can't even see pictures.
bear with me, I haven't even gotten to the point, but I'm discovering a few other points as I purge these thoughts .
So my personality profile categorized me as, "Agreeable taking care of others or taking care of yourself." And of course, as I read the description, I was like, yep that's me...those 200 questions and the complex computer logarithm shits me not. Then I went on to read the profile of 5 initial matches.
You realize that the type of people you attract is a reflection of who you are, right? So if you ever question what's wrong with the people that God's put in your life, the first place to look is the mirror. The benefit of putting out who you are on the computer is that the element of physical attraction is removed.
Physical attraction is perhaps one of the strongest initial forms of attraction. However, it's so fluid and easily morphed. Emotional/mental attraction; however, takes time to develop; and as long as you remain constant in what you want and who you are, what you are attracted to and what's attracted to you rarely chagne.
Most people that see me would imagine that I have no problem meeting people. I get cues from society that I'm generally attractive. Not a model by any means, but if I'm out, I'll without a doubt notice that people are appreciating what they see. But that honestly has been one of my biggest impediments to developing the type of relationship that I want. People often perceive me as sexual. Not just men, but I've even heard women say that I exude sexuality. I'll be frank...I've got a nice body. While I don't walk around letting it all hang out, I also don't wear a Bhurka hiding all that I've worked hard for and appreciate about my body. So I put out an era of confidence about my body, which attracts people to my body. For example, put a form fitting t-shirt on an A-cup woman...you might notice her smile. Put a form fitting t-shirt on a C-cup woman you notice her shape (boobs) first...then her smile.
However, if you read the blog...I don't have a preoccupation with appearance. I'm pretty entertained by political discussions and interactions with and observations of people. I'd like to attract a man with these similar interests/curiosities.
There is a lot that I value more than physical appearance; however, given that physical attraction is the strongest form of initial attraction (and men are visual creatures), they have a hard time getting past this and in turn put forth their desires regarding me. Which initially is not to know me, it's to fuck me. Yes I said fuck. Sex takes two general forms, fucking and making love. If you don't care to know me, you have absolutely no interest in making love to me...you'd simply like to fuck me.
So part of my trouble in relationships has been feeling comfortable with this attention, but using it to my advantage...and honestly letting time and genuine effort turn a man's desire to fuck me into a desire to make love to me. I'm not saying I jump in the sack on the first date, but let's be real, there is a long pathway between hello and I love you and who's to say when "the right time," to do that thing is. Clearly, I haven't gotten the right-time-thing quite figured out and what I've been doing thus far hasn't resulted in my desired outcome. Hence, I'm taking a vow of abstinence at least until the end of 2008.
Mind you, I'm not one to believe in abstinence until marriage...don't want an unpleasant surprise on my wedding night (actually it's deeper than that, for me to feel a complete connection with a person, I need to experience the trinity in them...mind body and soul. Leave one out of that equation and I wouldn't commit my life to a person until I got an understanding of all 3). And I think women like Joan on Girlfriends with a set "3-month" fail to realize that whether you do it after the first week or after 3 months...a dude will stay around whether he truly likes you or not to have sex. Matter of fact, he might take pride in himself for conquering your 3 month rule, but still not like you enough to love you.
this post has taken a complete different path of where I intended it to go. So I'll end it here and just post again.
7.12.2008
Confession #3
The confession is this: I secretly hope that one of these guys on either my kickball team or another kickball team at the park is open to having some coffee in his sugar.
What's your Sign?
I always thought of that as a terribly cliche pick-up line from the 70s. But really, what's your sign?
I'm more and more interested in learning about signs. Often times it describes a person's personality very accurately and allows you to have a greater understanding of who they are or strive to be. Check out Astrology-Online. Did your sign's description describe you accurately? Or perhaps your S/O, your friends?
Recently one of my "friends" said something very insensitive. In reading up on her sign I saw so many truths in how it described her. She's gossipy and often times I get bored with her conversation because it is limited to male/female relationships. To give a tangible example, when Tim Russert passed away she asked me, "Who is that?" Our conversation rarely strays from him/her/them and when it does stray, I initiate the conversation and she has no input.
I figure reading up a bit more on signs may allow me to better understand others!
I'm more and more interested in learning about signs. Often times it describes a person's personality very accurately and allows you to have a greater understanding of who they are or strive to be. Check out Astrology-Online. Did your sign's description describe you accurately? Or perhaps your S/O, your friends?
Recently one of my "friends" said something very insensitive. In reading up on her sign I saw so many truths in how it described her. She's gossipy and often times I get bored with her conversation because it is limited to male/female relationships. To give a tangible example, when Tim Russert passed away she asked me, "Who is that?" Our conversation rarely strays from him/her/them and when it does stray, I initiate the conversation and she has no input.
I figure reading up a bit more on signs may allow me to better understand others!
Insomniac thoughts
I can't sleep. Everytime I close my eyes my thoughts start to race to negativity. So as an alternative I've been net surfing.
The latest thought that has plagued me is current status of the relationship I have with my mother. She was much more pronounced in reaching out to me when she thought I was going to get married to old-dude. I feel as if she is disappointed in me because I'm not in a serious relationship. She's made those bullshit comments regarding wanting to be a grandmother. So maybe her way of dealing with her disappointment in my situation is by not talking to me as much as we used to.
Isn't that some bullshit.
The latest thought that has plagued me is current status of the relationship I have with my mother. She was much more pronounced in reaching out to me when she thought I was going to get married to old-dude. I feel as if she is disappointed in me because I'm not in a serious relationship. She's made those bullshit comments regarding wanting to be a grandmother. So maybe her way of dealing with her disappointment in my situation is by not talking to me as much as we used to.
Isn't that some bullshit.
7.11.2008
Yea or Nay?
A Lady knows to let a man lead...even when she knows that she could lead. Sometimes part of being a lady is letting your man lead and/or letting him think that he is leading.
Erica Badu is pregnant AGAIN, by another man.
*Rolls eyes* Sure I could mind my business and not have an opinion. But I do. My opinion is far bigger than "Erica". More power to her. Our lives don't intersect, so whatever judgment I have of her situation is pretty irrelevant. And I'll preface, my thoughts might piss you off and make you think that I'm close-minded or something else negative. We all bear that risk when we have an opinion...but I'm open to different perspectives.
One opinion that will never budge in my mind:
1) Raising a child in a two parent home is the optimal situation
Before folks get nilly willy with caveats. This is assuming that there is not an abusive situation present.
In life you have responsibilities. When single, you bear the burden (and reward to be fair) of all of those responsibilities. When married, you share those responsibilities. Add a child to that equation, and I cannot imagine that raising a child is easier alone than it would be with another person.
Furthermore, let's be real...most people don't choose to be single parents. They may choose not to wear protection and *hope* for the best. But when is the last time you heard a single woman announce that she is trying to get pregnant (the same way that married couples announce it). Single woman might say wants to have a baby ect, but rarely will one declare: I'm trying to get pregnant. (Also, my opinion doesn't address divorce situations).
So I had a dialogue about this on a message board. E.rica B.adu frequents the message board, as the purpose is primarily to discuss music etc. (But really, most of it is random people exchanging whateverthehell is on their minds). Apparently some posters commented on her being knocked up again by a different men. Yes, that's right, 3 different babies by 3 different men. She responds to their comments with a long dialogue talking about how she can support her kids, folks need to mind their business ect. Unfortunately, celebrities are in the spotlight. Folks would've been just as critical of an every-day woman who got knocked up by 3 different men.
So anyway despite my saying some knee-jerk-spark-a-fire type stuff, a lot of women on the message board were promoting the single-parent situation in defense of her. I'm not here to spark a pro-life/pro-choice debate, that is a deeply personal decision that I am nothing but lucky to have not to had to go through. It's more so on the front end prevention, and is something that I sometimes fail at. You are a single woman not taking every preventative measure to not get pregnant...and you are laying up with a man that doesn't value you enough to commit his life to you and help you to raise a family. THAT IS THE PROBLEM.
But, heck...maybe it's really not a problem and I'm being too harsh/close minded. And if I'm being to harsh/close-minded, try that advice out with your daughter. "Honey, it's okay to not use protection and lay-up with a man that doesn't value you enough to commit to you and/or support you."
sidebar, i always find it disturbing when a couple who is not going through fertility treatment announces that they are trying to get pregnant. Essentially they are telling you that they are having a lot of sex, particularly during a certain time of the month. That ain't my business...just tell me when you're pregnant!
Now Erica, probably has money and a lifestyle that probably allows her great flexibility in raising 3 children on her own. But for those of us 'regular' folk that have a daily job and either lose $/opportunity when we're not working (in the case of entrepreneurs) or must report to powers that be...you can't convince me that being a single parent is easier than sharing the responsibility with another person. You might be a GREAT parent, and will raise very successful children and be otherwise happy. But unless you've got an awesome support system (which would be ESSENTIAL)...I'm not convinced that it's easier. (again, argument isn't that it's wrong and can't be done...I'm just not convinced that single-parenthood is easier).
Also, while you love your children...if you remain single, how do your kids learn (and not just learn, but live and experience) what a respectful male/female relationship is like? (again, comparatively, this the 2-parent home situation assumes a non-abusive respectful relationship where love is demonstrated). I'm not saying it can't be done, but perhaps it'd be easier in a 2-parent home cuz we learn best by example.
Hmm, I just heard an interesting perspective that I never thought of: Perhaps the traditional model of a male/female two parent home is flawed. As a result in the laws of evolution, we are moving against the flawed paradigm to the more "perfect," paradigm.
Well if the "perfect paradigm" is that men plant their seed among several different women and women are to raise children alone....ehhh, that's a VERY scary unsettling concept.
I might be reaching here, so realize that I'm just on a free flow of thought based on what I observe, not based on empirical or even anecdotal evidence and not based on caveat examples of a rich super-star having 3 babies by 3 different men. Free flow thought also assumes that in the single parent situation more often than not it's the woman that bears the responsibility of the children...
Another aspect of this 70% of black children are being born into single parent homes is this perpetuation of the deterioration of family. Oh, perhaps the family is not deteriorating, it's simply that black people are far ahead of the curve and have begun this shift from the flawed family paradigm to the new 'perfect' family paradigm where a woman takes care of children while the man plants his seed all over the world. A person added that the deterioration of the family is a result of the lack of regard and respect for the black woman.
Well if you're a black man that was raised in a single parent home...
you may not have REALLY learned how to love/respect women. You may have feared your mother and saw her as an authority figure; however, you probably didn't see a man nurture and love her. So as an adult, you perceive *us* as authority figures, say that we suffer from ABW syndrom...yet still expect us to take care of you. You end up having a child, but are not married because it wasn't a part of your perception of family growing up. Cycle continues.
If you're a black woman that was raised in a single parent home...
you may have learned that a woman must do it all by herself and can do it pretty well, so really, a man is not necessary. You may want a man, but you KNOW he's know necessary. So as an adult, you're not really impressed by your counterpart...the black man that was raised in a single parent home. You end up having a child, but are not married because it wasn't a part of your perception of family growing up. Cycle continues.
I know I could be far off base with some of my opinions and recognize that I have a close-minded view. But because of my value system, which is based on how I grew up and what I was surrounded with / exposed to...I probably won't have 3 babies by 3 different men. *knocks on wood*
One opinion that will never budge in my mind:
1) Raising a child in a two parent home is the optimal situation
Before folks get nilly willy with caveats. This is assuming that there is not an abusive situation present.
In life you have responsibilities. When single, you bear the burden (and reward to be fair) of all of those responsibilities. When married, you share those responsibilities. Add a child to that equation, and I cannot imagine that raising a child is easier alone than it would be with another person.
Furthermore, let's be real...most people don't choose to be single parents. They may choose not to wear protection and *hope* for the best. But when is the last time you heard a single woman announce that she is trying to get pregnant (the same way that married couples announce it). Single woman might say wants to have a baby ect, but rarely will one declare: I'm trying to get pregnant. (Also, my opinion doesn't address divorce situations).
So I had a dialogue about this on a message board. E.rica B.adu frequents the message board, as the purpose is primarily to discuss music etc. (But really, most of it is random people exchanging whateverthehell is on their minds). Apparently some posters commented on her being knocked up again by a different men. Yes, that's right, 3 different babies by 3 different men. She responds to their comments with a long dialogue talking about how she can support her kids, folks need to mind their business ect. Unfortunately, celebrities are in the spotlight. Folks would've been just as critical of an every-day woman who got knocked up by 3 different men.
So anyway despite my saying some knee-jerk-spark-a-fire type stuff, a lot of women on the message board were promoting the single-parent situation in defense of her. I'm not here to spark a pro-life/pro-choice debate, that is a deeply personal decision that I am nothing but lucky to have not to had to go through. It's more so on the front end prevention, and is something that I sometimes fail at. You are a single woman not taking every preventative measure to not get pregnant...and you are laying up with a man that doesn't value you enough to commit his life to you and help you to raise a family. THAT IS THE PROBLEM.
But, heck...maybe it's really not a problem and I'm being too harsh/close minded. And if I'm being to harsh/close-minded, try that advice out with your daughter. "Honey, it's okay to not use protection and lay-up with a man that doesn't value you enough to commit to you and/or support you."
sidebar, i always find it disturbing when a couple who is not going through fertility treatment announces that they are trying to get pregnant. Essentially they are telling you that they are having a lot of sex, particularly during a certain time of the month. That ain't my business...just tell me when you're pregnant!
Now Erica, probably has money and a lifestyle that probably allows her great flexibility in raising 3 children on her own. But for those of us 'regular' folk that have a daily job and either lose $/opportunity when we're not working (in the case of entrepreneurs) or must report to powers that be...you can't convince me that being a single parent is easier than sharing the responsibility with another person. You might be a GREAT parent, and will raise very successful children and be otherwise happy. But unless you've got an awesome support system (which would be ESSENTIAL)...I'm not convinced that it's easier. (again, argument isn't that it's wrong and can't be done...I'm just not convinced that single-parenthood is easier).
Also, while you love your children...if you remain single, how do your kids learn (and not just learn, but live and experience) what a respectful male/female relationship is like? (again, comparatively, this the 2-parent home situation assumes a non-abusive respectful relationship where love is demonstrated). I'm not saying it can't be done, but perhaps it'd be easier in a 2-parent home cuz we learn best by example.
Hmm, I just heard an interesting perspective that I never thought of: Perhaps the traditional model of a male/female two parent home is flawed. As a result in the laws of evolution, we are moving against the flawed paradigm to the more "perfect," paradigm.
Well if the "perfect paradigm" is that men plant their seed among several different women and women are to raise children alone....ehhh, that's a VERY scary unsettling concept.
I might be reaching here, so realize that I'm just on a free flow of thought based on what I observe, not based on empirical or even anecdotal evidence and not based on caveat examples of a rich super-star having 3 babies by 3 different men. Free flow thought also assumes that in the single parent situation more often than not it's the woman that bears the responsibility of the children...
Another aspect of this 70% of black children are being born into single parent homes is this perpetuation of the deterioration of family. Oh, perhaps the family is not deteriorating, it's simply that black people are far ahead of the curve and have begun this shift from the flawed family paradigm to the new 'perfect' family paradigm where a woman takes care of children while the man plants his seed all over the world. A person added that the deterioration of the family is a result of the lack of regard and respect for the black woman.
Well if you're a black man that was raised in a single parent home...
you may not have REALLY learned how to love/respect women. You may have feared your mother and saw her as an authority figure; however, you probably didn't see a man nurture and love her. So as an adult, you perceive *us* as authority figures, say that we suffer from ABW syndrom...yet still expect us to take care of you. You end up having a child, but are not married because it wasn't a part of your perception of family growing up. Cycle continues.
If you're a black woman that was raised in a single parent home...
you may have learned that a woman must do it all by herself and can do it pretty well, so really, a man is not necessary. You may want a man, but you KNOW he's know necessary. So as an adult, you're not really impressed by your counterpart...the black man that was raised in a single parent home. You end up having a child, but are not married because it wasn't a part of your perception of family growing up. Cycle continues.
I know I could be far off base with some of my opinions and recognize that I have a close-minded view. But because of my value system, which is based on how I grew up and what I was surrounded with / exposed to...I probably won't have 3 babies by 3 different men. *knocks on wood*
7.10.2008
It's easy - do something
Our country is facing a possible sharp economic downturn because of skyrocketing oil and fuel prices, but by pulling together, we can all do something to help now.
For airlines, ultra-expensive fuel means thousands of lost jobs and severe reductions in air service to both large and small communities. To the broader economy, oil prices mean slower activity and widespread economic pain. This pain can be alleviated, and that is why we are taking the extraordinary step of writing this joint letter to our customers.
Since high oil prices are partly a response to normal market forces, the nation needs to focus on increased energy supplies and conservation. However, there is another side to this story because normal market forces are being dangerously amplified by poorly regulated market speculation.
Twenty years ago, 21 percent of oil contracts were purchased by speculators who trade oil on paper with no intention of ever taking delivery. Today, oil speculators purchase 66 percent of all oil futures contracts, and that reflects just the transactions that are known. Speculators buy up large amounts of oil and then sell it to each other again and again. A barrel of oil may trade 20-plus times before it is delivered and used; the price goes up with each trade and consumers pick up the final tab. Some market experts estimate that current prices reflect as much as $30 to $60 per barrel in unnecessary speculative costs.
Over seventy years ago, Congress established regulations to control excessive, largely unchecked market speculation and manipulation. However, over the past two decades, these regulatory limits have been weakened or removed. We believe that restoring and enforcing these limits, along with several other modest measures, will provide more disclosure, transparency and sound market oversight. Together, these reforms will help cool the over-heated oil market and permit the economy to prosper.
The nation needs to pull together to reform the oil markets and solve this growing problem.
We need your help. Get more information and contact Congress by visiting Stop Oil Speculation Now
For airlines, ultra-expensive fuel means thousands of lost jobs and severe reductions in air service to both large and small communities. To the broader economy, oil prices mean slower activity and widespread economic pain. This pain can be alleviated, and that is why we are taking the extraordinary step of writing this joint letter to our customers.
Since high oil prices are partly a response to normal market forces, the nation needs to focus on increased energy supplies and conservation. However, there is another side to this story because normal market forces are being dangerously amplified by poorly regulated market speculation.
Twenty years ago, 21 percent of oil contracts were purchased by speculators who trade oil on paper with no intention of ever taking delivery. Today, oil speculators purchase 66 percent of all oil futures contracts, and that reflects just the transactions that are known. Speculators buy up large amounts of oil and then sell it to each other again and again. A barrel of oil may trade 20-plus times before it is delivered and used; the price goes up with each trade and consumers pick up the final tab. Some market experts estimate that current prices reflect as much as $30 to $60 per barrel in unnecessary speculative costs.
Over seventy years ago, Congress established regulations to control excessive, largely unchecked market speculation and manipulation. However, over the past two decades, these regulatory limits have been weakened or removed. We believe that restoring and enforcing these limits, along with several other modest measures, will provide more disclosure, transparency and sound market oversight. Together, these reforms will help cool the over-heated oil market and permit the economy to prosper.
The nation needs to pull together to reform the oil markets and solve this growing problem.
We need your help. Get more information and contact Congress by visiting Stop Oil Speculation Now
Shake My Head, Damn McCain.
This is just comical now. Every time I visit huffingtonpost.com, I really do laugh out loud at the latest asinine comment made by McCain or one of his advisors.
First there was McCain's comment in response to the question about how exports to Iran have increased exponentially during Bush's era. His response...well if cigarettes are being sent, at least the Iranian people are being killed off slowly. Yes they are enemy but folks have to realize that not every smoking person in the USA is as dumb/stupid as the Bush Administration. In turn not every smoking person in Iran is as dumb/stupid as Iranian leaders. You don't wish cancer or make light of it in that context.
Next, his economic advisor says that were are merely in a mental economic recession and that Americans are whiners. I'll say that everything is relative and we have it pretty good over here; however, not being able to pay for gas to get to work to feed your kids is kinda-sorta-in-my-opinion an okay thing to complain about.
Click on the active link in this sentence for the 10 things that should've ended McCain's chances for presidency this week. McCain mess ups.
First there was McCain's comment in response to the question about how exports to Iran have increased exponentially during Bush's era. His response...well if cigarettes are being sent, at least the Iranian people are being killed off slowly. Yes they are enemy but folks have to realize that not every smoking person in the USA is as dumb/stupid as the Bush Administration. In turn not every smoking person in Iran is as dumb/stupid as Iranian leaders. You don't wish cancer or make light of it in that context.
Next, his economic advisor says that were are merely in a mental economic recession and that Americans are whiners. I'll say that everything is relative and we have it pretty good over here; however, not being able to pay for gas to get to work to feed your kids is kinda-sorta-in-my-opinion an okay thing to complain about.
Click on the active link in this sentence for the 10 things that should've ended McCain's chances for presidency this week. McCain mess ups.
Random question - no snark, just curiosity
If you are / were a jehova witness...why aren't you supposed to vote? I heard about that today and I didn't understand the reasoning why.
Would this election year trump this rule? (Actually, I've been told refraining from voting is not a rule; however, it's highly discouraged).
Lmao - i posted this on my favorite msg board and one reply was:
Are you saying that I could actually hide from JW's at a voting center?
call a spade a spade...that mess was funny, even if it wasn't PC.
Would this election year trump this rule? (Actually, I've been told refraining from voting is not a rule; however, it's highly discouraged).
Lmao - i posted this on my favorite msg board and one reply was:
Are you saying that I could actually hide from JW's at a voting center?
call a spade a spade...that mess was funny, even if it wasn't PC.
7.09.2008
Whose Nuts Would You Like to Cut Off?
Maybe the dude that sexually assaulted me. Yeah, that's about it.
Apparently Jesse Jackson would like to cut Barack Obama's nuts off. Because you know, Obama is really a bad man, right? Jesse...sorry bro...it's a wrap for you. You LOST ALL of my respect. We've got the first valid, AWESOME amazing non-WASP (mixed) person that has a good shot at being president and you want to cut his nuts off. GTFOHWTBS. Seriously. No, SERIOUSLY. Move to another country, your services are no longer needed here.
I don't use this word often. But Jesse sounded like a real Nigger right there. "massa talkin' dohn to da popl on da fahm, i'mma go cut 'es nuts off rill nice n' slow."
Apparently Jesse Jackson would like to cut Barack Obama's nuts off. Because you know, Obama is really a bad man, right? Jesse...sorry bro...it's a wrap for you. You LOST ALL of my respect. We've got the first valid, AWESOME amazing non-WASP (mixed) person that has a good shot at being president and you want to cut his nuts off. GTFOHWTBS. Seriously. No, SERIOUSLY. Move to another country, your services are no longer needed here.
I don't use this word often. But Jesse sounded like a real Nigger right there. "massa talkin' dohn to da popl on da fahm, i'mma go cut 'es nuts off rill nice n' slow."
On: Sounding Black and being paid less
Over at my favorite black-pop-hollywood webazine(Stereohyped.com), there was an interesting shock value article from the Freakanomics blog on NYT.com, entitled, "How Much Does It Cost You in Wages if You Sound Black?"
The article opens with, "His main finding: blacks who “sound black” earn salaries that are 10 percent lower than blacks who do not “sound black,” even after controlling for measures of intelligence, experience in the work force, and other factors that influence how much people earn."
'For you go getting all nilly willy silly and ask, "Well WTF does sounding black SOUND like?"
Call a spade a spade. For the most part, you know when you call some customer service line that you are speaking to either a white person or a black person. It's not a bad thing, it just is what it is. You know that traditionally, "sounding black," not only includes a unique venacular, but there are various verbal and non-verbal cues that are present.
By the way "call a spade a spade," is my new cliche for the moment. People always want to argue the "should/could/would," of a situation and ignore the "is/are/be." Sure, I should not think my school is better than yours, but guess what? It is...and I've got empiracle evidence to prove it true.
Read the article - and tell me if you are truly surprised...not at the way that things "should be," but at the way that they are. (I was not surprised in the least).
The article opens with, "His main finding: blacks who “sound black” earn salaries that are 10 percent lower than blacks who do not “sound black,” even after controlling for measures of intelligence, experience in the work force, and other factors that influence how much people earn."
'For you go getting all nilly willy silly and ask, "Well WTF does sounding black SOUND like?"
Call a spade a spade. For the most part, you know when you call some customer service line that you are speaking to either a white person or a black person. It's not a bad thing, it just is what it is. You know that traditionally, "sounding black," not only includes a unique venacular, but there are various verbal and non-verbal cues that are present.
By the way "call a spade a spade," is my new cliche for the moment. People always want to argue the "should/could/would," of a situation and ignore the "is/are/be." Sure, I should not think my school is better than yours, but guess what? It is...and I've got empiracle evidence to prove it true.
Read the article - and tell me if you are truly surprised...not at the way that things "should be," but at the way that they are. (I was not surprised in the least).
7.08.2008
Laws Of Attraction
Sorry y'all I'm probably going to wear this ish out. So one of the basic premises is that you don't simply say "I will, I want, I *future tense*" You have to say something, with conviction in the present tense. I AM, I HAVE, I *ACTION*.
So I get home and walk to the mailbox. I say to myself, "Self, I KNOW there is money in there. I just wonder how much." I did more than say it, I felt it and smiled about it.
I reach in and flip through envelops.
I SHIT YOU NOT, I FOUND A DEPARTMENT OF TREASURY CHECK IN MY MAILBOX.
Except it was addressed to my next door neighbor.
Lesson learned, be as specific as possible about what you want.
So I get home and walk to the mailbox. I say to myself, "Self, I KNOW there is money in there. I just wonder how much." I did more than say it, I felt it and smiled about it.
I reach in and flip through envelops.
I SHIT YOU NOT, I FOUND A DEPARTMENT OF TREASURY CHECK IN MY MAILBOX.
Except it was addressed to my next door neighbor.
Lesson learned, be as specific as possible about what you want.
7.07.2008
If you know this beat, you know where I'm from
Not where the group is from, but where I grew up!
(it's pharcyde over tried by 12). Beat takes me back to highschool. this mix is pretty much the hotness.
Sad thing is my boy who put me on to it - drives me fukkin nuts. He name drops, and self-brags more than I think is attractive. Yes we gotta pat ourselves on the back and be our own biggest promoters, but he pitches to me as if I'm going to donate. He's a friend, we've been through stuff, so of course I support him - so it isn't necessary for him to name drop. I know you and think your cool, just cuz you know him, her or them...it's not going to make you like you more.
*SCREAM* He keeps bringing up marriage. Right, I know ironic given the post right below. Except, I would never feel about him that Diana feels about Jesse. Like we've been on the phone the past 10 minutes, I've done uhhh ohhh okay. But he's so busy name dropping right now that he doesn't even tune into the fact that I'm bored silly as he talks talks talks. *yawn, bore, he's still going.....please make this stop. Maybe I'm not his friend cuz I'm being kinda mean right now, huh? Eeek, he talks about to visit....gosh.
Whew...It's over.
(it's pharcyde over tried by 12). Beat takes me back to highschool. this mix is pretty much the hotness.
Sad thing is my boy who put me on to it - drives me fukkin nuts. He name drops, and self-brags more than I think is attractive. Yes we gotta pat ourselves on the back and be our own biggest promoters, but he pitches to me as if I'm going to donate. He's a friend, we've been through stuff, so of course I support him - so it isn't necessary for him to name drop. I know you and think your cool, just cuz you know him, her or them...it's not going to make you like you more.
*SCREAM* He keeps bringing up marriage. Right, I know ironic given the post right below. Except, I would never feel about him that Diana feels about Jesse. Like we've been on the phone the past 10 minutes, I've done uhhh ohhh okay. But he's so busy name dropping right now that he doesn't even tune into the fact that I'm bored silly as he talks talks talks. *yawn, bore, he's still going.....please make this stop. Maybe I'm not his friend cuz I'm being kinda mean right now, huh? Eeek, he talks about to visit....gosh.
Whew...It's over.
My 4th of July
I left for Philadelphia on Friday, July 4th at 8:30 am. I hadn't been to Philadelphia since grandma passed away, so it was somewhat emotional. As I mentioend below in another post, I was curious about this "Laws of Attraction," talk that had been attracted to me in various different ways. So I stopped by the airport bookstore and picked up a copy of the book.
After reading the first 80 pages, I put the book to practice. I found thanks in the things that I feel good about in my life and thought the things that I would make me happier. So much of my 2008 has been clouded with negativity. I've had quite a few failed relationships and I've dwelled in the negativity of that too long. Using some of the techniques in the book, I shifted my focus to what I want. I want more good people in my life.
So I'm sitting on the plane and the young woman beside me casually asks, "Do they serve drinks on the flight?" Given that I haven't flown US Air in forever, I responded with an I don't know. Conversation went from there and come to find out, this young woman went to my Undergrad, lives about an hour away, but comes to ATL every now and then. We had quite a pleasant conversation, exchanged info and will probably keep in contact.
Essentially my thoughts of being surrounded by good people materialized before my eyes.
Friday I saw John Legend (that's one sexy MOFO, actually he's pretty much my prototype, cept my cousin told me that women aren't quite his type *frown*). However, we got rained out before the fireworks. Saturday I saw Boys II Men perform at Penn's Landing; however we got rained out before the fireworks. Not to mention I had a IBS attack that was so painful it brought me to tears.
We spent Saturday with my cousins who just had twins...they have a quaint spot in Upper Darby. They're in their late 30s, have a 9 year old and just had twins, but still manage to be some cool peoples! I saw what I'd like for myself. They don't have the biggest this, the greatest that...but they have love. And it hasn't always been pretty. But they understand the meaning of marriage and family and it was so beautiful to me. And being around the twins who are only 3 months old made me want more than ever to be a mother. First thing is first of course, I want to be a wife. But being around the family made me reject this notion that I'm doomed to be single because I live in a chocolate city and men just don't want to marry. The men that don't want to marry are not the men for me.
TANGENT: Men that don't want to marry confuse the shit out of me, honestly. In terms of the survival of the fittest concept, not wanting to marry is a form of bloodline suicide. I say all this not in terms of them having a relationship with a woman, but creating an optimal situation to raise children. Granted, dude could contribute to the 70 per cent of black children are born to single mothers statistic. But in a true primal sense; a man is driven to not only spread his seed, but to create a situation in which that seed can survive and spread the seed into future generations. Name one culture on earth in which it is not customary for a man to take on a wife (or something equivalent). The wife takes care of the home and the man provides for his family...because in the primal sense, that is the best way to ensure that his offspring succeed. Hell, I JUST heard a situation in which a 77 year old Indian man wanted a male child so badly that he and his 70 year old wife went through IVF and JUST gave birth to twins, one of which was a son. Clearly his desire to have his blood and name carry on was STRONG.
Anywho, I veered way off track. I felt so positive about The Secret, that I let my sister have it and bought msyelf another copy. It really is no different than Christian Science; however, it's principles based instead of rules based. At times it's hard to stay encouraged through religion because when you fall short you must BEG for mercy to be saved. And when you fall short, it's frustrating to have folks looking at you like, "Hmmm you're going to hell, you know?" Whereas the law of attraction isn't religious per se; it taps into your soul and suggests various thoughts and actions to guide you toward happiness and love. (which is essentially the goal of most religions).
After reading the first 80 pages, I put the book to practice. I found thanks in the things that I feel good about in my life and thought the things that I would make me happier. So much of my 2008 has been clouded with negativity. I've had quite a few failed relationships and I've dwelled in the negativity of that too long. Using some of the techniques in the book, I shifted my focus to what I want. I want more good people in my life.
So I'm sitting on the plane and the young woman beside me casually asks, "Do they serve drinks on the flight?" Given that I haven't flown US Air in forever, I responded with an I don't know. Conversation went from there and come to find out, this young woman went to my Undergrad, lives about an hour away, but comes to ATL every now and then. We had quite a pleasant conversation, exchanged info and will probably keep in contact.
Essentially my thoughts of being surrounded by good people materialized before my eyes.
Friday I saw John Legend (that's one sexy MOFO, actually he's pretty much my prototype, cept my cousin told me that women aren't quite his type *frown*). However, we got rained out before the fireworks. Saturday I saw Boys II Men perform at Penn's Landing; however we got rained out before the fireworks. Not to mention I had a IBS attack that was so painful it brought me to tears.
We spent Saturday with my cousins who just had twins...they have a quaint spot in Upper Darby. They're in their late 30s, have a 9 year old and just had twins, but still manage to be some cool peoples! I saw what I'd like for myself. They don't have the biggest this, the greatest that...but they have love. And it hasn't always been pretty. But they understand the meaning of marriage and family and it was so beautiful to me. And being around the twins who are only 3 months old made me want more than ever to be a mother. First thing is first of course, I want to be a wife. But being around the family made me reject this notion that I'm doomed to be single because I live in a chocolate city and men just don't want to marry. The men that don't want to marry are not the men for me.
TANGENT: Men that don't want to marry confuse the shit out of me, honestly. In terms of the survival of the fittest concept, not wanting to marry is a form of bloodline suicide. I say all this not in terms of them having a relationship with a woman, but creating an optimal situation to raise children. Granted, dude could contribute to the 70 per cent of black children are born to single mothers statistic. But in a true primal sense; a man is driven to not only spread his seed, but to create a situation in which that seed can survive and spread the seed into future generations. Name one culture on earth in which it is not customary for a man to take on a wife (or something equivalent). The wife takes care of the home and the man provides for his family...because in the primal sense, that is the best way to ensure that his offspring succeed. Hell, I JUST heard a situation in which a 77 year old Indian man wanted a male child so badly that he and his 70 year old wife went through IVF and JUST gave birth to twins, one of which was a son. Clearly his desire to have his blood and name carry on was STRONG.
Anywho, I veered way off track. I felt so positive about The Secret, that I let my sister have it and bought msyelf another copy. It really is no different than Christian Science; however, it's principles based instead of rules based. At times it's hard to stay encouraged through religion because when you fall short you must BEG for mercy to be saved. And when you fall short, it's frustrating to have folks looking at you like, "Hmmm you're going to hell, you know?" Whereas the law of attraction isn't religious per se; it taps into your soul and suggests various thoughts and actions to guide you toward happiness and love. (which is essentially the goal of most religions).
7.06.2008
This moved me something deep
my-sexual-assault-is-not-your-political-issue
The last paragraph:
See, the thing is, it's great to say that we should do this or we should do that for the sake of women everywhere. But no one — and especially not other women and supposed feminists — has the right to tell me or any other victim of sexual assault that being victimized and being traumatized leaves us responsible for making the world a better place (as though that's what's accomplished by reporting a rape, actually). We all have a responsibility to try to prevent them, to create a world where they are much more of an exception than the rule, where drunk girls or slutty girls or drunken slutty girls don't have to explain their behavior to anyone — regardless of whether they have been assaulted, or after having been assaulted — and where victims don't have to explain to non-victims the choices they made. My pursuing the prosecution of the one made no more difference in the world than not prosecuting the other. But maybe my talking about them both, maybe helping to ease the stigma of it for other people and create a space where I don't have to be ashamed of being a victim (or of how I chose to deal with that) will.
The last paragraph:
See, the thing is, it's great to say that we should do this or we should do that for the sake of women everywhere. But no one — and especially not other women and supposed feminists — has the right to tell me or any other victim of sexual assault that being victimized and being traumatized leaves us responsible for making the world a better place (as though that's what's accomplished by reporting a rape, actually). We all have a responsibility to try to prevent them, to create a world where they are much more of an exception than the rule, where drunk girls or slutty girls or drunken slutty girls don't have to explain their behavior to anyone — regardless of whether they have been assaulted, or after having been assaulted — and where victims don't have to explain to non-victims the choices they made. My pursuing the prosecution of the one made no more difference in the world than not prosecuting the other. But maybe my talking about them both, maybe helping to ease the stigma of it for other people and create a space where I don't have to be ashamed of being a victim (or of how I chose to deal with that) will.
PSA: Don't Damn me to hell before you know my name
I finally got some inspiration to take my tail to the gym. Afterward, I head to the grocery store and walk by an attractive, tall fellow. We go on about our shopping business, and I'm not going to lie, before I walked out I scanned the place for him - to no avail. As I approach my car, I hear:
"You know you're not suppose to work out on Sunday?"
I smiled and played coy for a second, until I realized that he was dead serious on some Jesus stuff. Like, I'm feeling GREAT about myself cuz I haven't been to the gym in weeks and he wants to try to poop on my parade with some Jesus stuff?
No sir. The way to a woman's (or a person's) heart is not to first damn them to hell. He was super judgmental and I don't prescribe to a straight and narrow path, so I can assure to you that him and I couldn't make it through one date without having a heated argument.
"You know you're not suppose to work out on Sunday?"
I smiled and played coy for a second, until I realized that he was dead serious on some Jesus stuff. Like, I'm feeling GREAT about myself cuz I haven't been to the gym in weeks and he wants to try to poop on my parade with some Jesus stuff?
No sir. The way to a woman's (or a person's) heart is not to first damn them to hell. He was super judgmental and I don't prescribe to a straight and narrow path, so I can assure to you that him and I couldn't make it through one date without having a heated argument.
Halle Berry is the prettiest/sexiest white woman alive
I just want to say that it irritates me to no end when Halle Berry is deemed the “iest -Black Woman,” anything.
Thus the title of this post is no more accurate than calling her the sexiest/prettiest black woman alive.
SHE IS MIXED.
She has several features that are more Euro-centric than Afro-centric and it perpetuates any self-hate that little black girls with less mixed features implicitly take on as they become women.
I can take “iest-Woman,” but IMO, call a spade a spade, she is mixed…50/50. Nobody is saying she’s the prettiest White woman around, thus denying her more Afro-centric qualities.
Furthermore, most of the qualities that deem her to be "pretty," are Euro-centric. This topic is simply not a pill that I swallow with grace.
I'm light because I have white mixture in me. My hair is curly because of that too.
I just want my lil' cousin (the literal and figurative lil' cousin) that's not as light and who doesn't have curly hair like me to truly believe that she is pretty in her own right; however, if she sees Alicia and/or Halle (50/50s) as being the standard of beauty in black America - she's got no chances.
Thus the title of this post is no more accurate than calling her the sexiest/prettiest black woman alive.
SHE IS MIXED.
She has several features that are more Euro-centric than Afro-centric and it perpetuates any self-hate that little black girls with less mixed features implicitly take on as they become women.
I can take “iest-Woman,” but IMO, call a spade a spade, she is mixed…50/50. Nobody is saying she’s the prettiest White woman around, thus denying her more Afro-centric qualities.
Furthermore, most of the qualities that deem her to be "pretty," are Euro-centric. This topic is simply not a pill that I swallow with grace.
I'm light because I have white mixture in me. My hair is curly because of that too.
I just want my lil' cousin (the literal and figurative lil' cousin) that's not as light and who doesn't have curly hair like me to truly believe that she is pretty in her own right; however, if she sees Alicia and/or Halle (50/50s) as being the standard of beauty in black America - she's got no chances.
7.03.2008
Gasonline Price Hedge for everyday consumers
MyGallons.Com allows you to pre-pay for gas and essentially lock that rate in over a period of time. It's honored at several respected gas stations. There is an annual fee; however, if you are risk adverse like me, you like to know how much you are paying up front.
Just though you all should know as an option.
Just though you all should know as an option.
Question - What do you know about the Laws of Attraction?
I had a friend describe it to me about a year ago. It sounded like crazy talk. But then she told me yesterday that sometimes I'm negative. For example, she asserted that at age 26 she'd like to own her home (wheter that be a condo / single family / townhouse ect). But, she's now 24 is back in school, living in LA and in her desired industry people start off making $30k-$40k. Instead of just saying, go for it; I challenged as to why she had this goal. It made sense when she was making $50k+ living in ATL and had the support of her peers who all owned property by age 26. I felt like she used as a standard. Which is great if her path was going to be similar to ours. I pointed all this out to her, and she felt like I was pushing negativity her way. IMO, as a risk adverse person, I was pushing reality on her.
Then she went into the Laws of Attraction concept. Instead of saying, "I'd like to own a house at age 26, despite the cost of living in LA and my piss poor salary," she'd say, "When I own my house at age 26."
So what I'm really chewing on right now is am I negative, or do I infuse my decision making with realities. She knows that if she wants practical advise, she comes to me. When she wants "just do it," advice, I might not be the one. I'll encourage and support her either way; however, I'm there to ask, "how will you eat if all your $ is invested in real estate?"
Question - do you prescribe to the Laws of Attraction? If so, how has this changed your beliefs, life, actions, mindset?
Then she went into the Laws of Attraction concept. Instead of saying, "I'd like to own a house at age 26, despite the cost of living in LA and my piss poor salary," she'd say, "When I own my house at age 26."
So what I'm really chewing on right now is am I negative, or do I infuse my decision making with realities. She knows that if she wants practical advise, she comes to me. When she wants "just do it," advice, I might not be the one. I'll encourage and support her either way; however, I'm there to ask, "how will you eat if all your $ is invested in real estate?"
Question - do you prescribe to the Laws of Attraction? If so, how has this changed your beliefs, life, actions, mindset?
Confession #2
Today is the first day that I contributed to the Obama Campaign, financially. What made me do it? A belief that he can really, really win. And I'm not going to lie, hearing Warren Buffett's remarks on Obama also inspired me.
For the longest time, I had this assumption that all upity older white folks were blind republicans. For instance, my friend made a joke that for all she knows, Warren Buffett could've been John McCain's older brother. So I was so shocked when I heard that he was a supporter of Obama. *Gasp* He truly believes that he should be taxed more than the janitor / teacher / nurse / accountant / lawyer / middle class American.
Let's be real, republicans are in practice are just as "big government," as democrats. So given institutionalized dependency on the government, the real quesiton, as Buffett so eloquently put it, is who funds the government.
Rich republicans are screaming bloody murder somebody is going to raise taxes! If you are making a bunch of money, what is that extra $1 going to do for you? Essentially nothing but feed your greed for more money. Like does the capital gains tax really make sense to be so low? I understand there is an incentive to invest; however, REALLY you get taxed less for doing absolutely NO work than you do on your regular salary, for which you have to put in hours to earn. In having a discussion with my unlikely democrat friend (he's a white, upper class male from Alabama); he pointed out that the motivation for republicans when it comes to taxes is surrounded by the carnal sin of greed.
Nevermind that I'm anti-gun. This new ruling on the second Amendment is asinine. Gun crazy people are now beating their chest asserting that they should have the right to carry concealed weapons into airports. Umm - sorry Mr. NRA, because this is America, the terrorists that has been a law abiding citizen thus far can take a Gun into the airport too.
Nevermind that I'm pro choice. And let's be real, republican men are too. Given that cheating is a common occurrence - imagine the # of illegitimate children of congressmen that would be roaming the earth if Roe vs. Wade is overturned. On a serious note, it's a woman's choice. I don't think it should be birth control; however, there are times when you are dealt a hand of cards that you don't know how to play.
For the longest time, I had this assumption that all upity older white folks were blind republicans. For instance, my friend made a joke that for all she knows, Warren Buffett could've been John McCain's older brother. So I was so shocked when I heard that he was a supporter of Obama. *Gasp* He truly believes that he should be taxed more than the janitor / teacher / nurse / accountant / lawyer / middle class American.
Let's be real, republicans are in practice are just as "big government," as democrats. So given institutionalized dependency on the government, the real quesiton, as Buffett so eloquently put it, is who funds the government.
Rich republicans are screaming bloody murder somebody is going to raise taxes! If you are making a bunch of money, what is that extra $1 going to do for you? Essentially nothing but feed your greed for more money. Like does the capital gains tax really make sense to be so low? I understand there is an incentive to invest; however, REALLY you get taxed less for doing absolutely NO work than you do on your regular salary, for which you have to put in hours to earn. In having a discussion with my unlikely democrat friend (he's a white, upper class male from Alabama); he pointed out that the motivation for republicans when it comes to taxes is surrounded by the carnal sin of greed.
Nevermind that I'm anti-gun. This new ruling on the second Amendment is asinine. Gun crazy people are now beating their chest asserting that they should have the right to carry concealed weapons into airports. Umm - sorry Mr. NRA, because this is America, the terrorists that has been a law abiding citizen thus far can take a Gun into the airport too.
Nevermind that I'm pro choice. And let's be real, republican men are too. Given that cheating is a common occurrence - imagine the # of illegitimate children of congressmen that would be roaming the earth if Roe vs. Wade is overturned. On a serious note, it's a woman's choice. I don't think it should be birth control; however, there are times when you are dealt a hand of cards that you don't know how to play.
7.02.2008
Confession
I'll expound upon this later. But quite frankly, I'm pretty anti-feminist. Not that I think that women shouldn't vote, but I do think that as we move into the work-world, we become less dependent on men, and less nurturing to children.
You can't possibly be *that* mother attending every recital, game ect if you are Ms. Executive who has an important deadline to meet every other week. You can't be the wife who is attentive when you come home after your husband and are already aggrivated from dealing with stingy ass men all day long.
Not that it can't be done. But it'd take an extra-ordinary Company and an extra-ordinary woman with extra-ordinary circumstances. For the common folks, it really is a continuum. And quite frankly, if we are to continue raising good people...somebody has to be nurturing our youth.
Edit #1: When I say Ms. Executive; I'm referring to a C-level person and/or a real mover/shaker in a Company. My background is primarily financial; so I'm not sure if other industries within large Company's work crazy hours (for example, I don't know what the hours are for VP-HR, General Counsel, VP-Marketing). I'm not talking to the Ms. Worker who works a 9-5 (give or take a few hours and crazy hours once in a blue moon). I'd expect that before you met dude you had to hold down a job so that you could shelter/feed/entertain yourself. But say I got married right now and had to take about 2 years off between having two kids. I would be okay with my status / income not growing over that 2 year period and being able to have flexible hours to attend to my childrens' needs first and my job/career's needs second. I've seen one too many women in high power positions put work first and then family. They are very successful women in terms of their career. However, that's not how I define success for me, as a woman. I can honestly say that I don't hold men to that same standard because I saw what my mom and dad did to support their family. He worked longer hours and because of it, got more recognition at work and excelled. He was successful in his role as my father because he brought home the extra $ that allowed me to participate in leagues ect, which my mother drove me to. Make sense? It's late. lol
You can't possibly be *that* mother attending every recital, game ect if you are Ms. Executive who has an important deadline to meet every other week. You can't be the wife who is attentive when you come home after your husband and are already aggrivated from dealing with stingy ass men all day long.
Not that it can't be done. But it'd take an extra-ordinary Company and an extra-ordinary woman with extra-ordinary circumstances. For the common folks, it really is a continuum. And quite frankly, if we are to continue raising good people...somebody has to be nurturing our youth.
Edit #1: When I say Ms. Executive; I'm referring to a C-level person and/or a real mover/shaker in a Company. My background is primarily financial; so I'm not sure if other industries within large Company's work crazy hours (for example, I don't know what the hours are for VP-HR, General Counsel, VP-Marketing). I'm not talking to the Ms. Worker who works a 9-5 (give or take a few hours and crazy hours once in a blue moon). I'd expect that before you met dude you had to hold down a job so that you could shelter/feed/entertain yourself. But say I got married right now and had to take about 2 years off between having two kids. I would be okay with my status / income not growing over that 2 year period and being able to have flexible hours to attend to my childrens' needs first and my job/career's needs second. I've seen one too many women in high power positions put work first and then family. They are very successful women in terms of their career. However, that's not how I define success for me, as a woman. I can honestly say that I don't hold men to that same standard because I saw what my mom and dad did to support their family. He worked longer hours and because of it, got more recognition at work and excelled. He was successful in his role as my father because he brought home the extra $ that allowed me to participate in leagues ect, which my mother drove me to. Make sense? It's late. lol
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