6.21.2008
It's a blog thing, you wouldn't understand.
Lol - this is a reference to the fact that there was a joke that there needs to be a code amongst people in blog-world. I don't know if this holds true for everybody; however, I think there is a commonality amongst people that find/seek refuge in internet mediums.
At this time, I can't quite articulate what is comforting for me. Essentially, there are times, when I crave interaction without the action. Also, interaction via the internet is easily controlled. If somebody says something that you disagree with, you can debate, but you can also shut them off. And nobody's feelings get hurt. They are not vested in you, and you are not vested in them. You simply exchange ideas, but don't exchange emotion and/or feeling.
It's almost impossible to do this in person. Too many human elements come into play. On the nets, physical appearance rarely comes into play, you allow people to see you for who you are...and they are not distracted by the many imperfections that we all possess. So there is comfort. Ehh - I went WAYYY off topic. At least way off topic than what lead me to blog at this 2:09 am moment.
At this time, I can't quite articulate what is comforting for me. Essentially, there are times, when I crave interaction without the action. Also, interaction via the internet is easily controlled. If somebody says something that you disagree with, you can debate, but you can also shut them off. And nobody's feelings get hurt. They are not vested in you, and you are not vested in them. You simply exchange ideas, but don't exchange emotion and/or feeling.
It's almost impossible to do this in person. Too many human elements come into play. On the nets, physical appearance rarely comes into play, you allow people to see you for who you are...and they are not distracted by the many imperfections that we all possess. So there is comfort. Ehh - I went WAYYY off topic. At least way off topic than what lead me to blog at this 2:09 am moment.
6.20.2008
Tell 'Em Why You Mad...
1. There is no such thing as a secret and/or a confidant
2. Why is my cervix to the far right bottom? Where is the b*tch supposed to be?
Tell 'Em Why You Happy
1. Old Navy actually has some cute clothes!
2. Patience paid off, I bought this $80 dress for $30
2. Why is my cervix to the far right bottom? Where is the b*tch supposed to be?
Tell 'Em Why You Happy
1. Old Navy actually has some cute clothes!
2. Patience paid off, I bought this $80 dress for $30
6.19.2008
On: Global Warming
Are you surprised / shocked by the flooding in Iowa?
I wasn't AT ALL. Not even one little bit surprised.
Where did you think Lake Lanier went? Clearly, it made it's way to Iowa.
If there are severe droughts in one part of the world, TRUST that there will be severe flooding.
I wasn't AT ALL. Not even one little bit surprised.
Where did you think Lake Lanier went? Clearly, it made it's way to Iowa.
If there are severe droughts in one part of the world, TRUST that there will be severe flooding.
FINALLY - THEY STEPPED UP TO THE PLATE
Except it's still only on internet world. As we used to say in elementary school
TAKE THIS AND PASS IT ALONG
TAKE THIS AND PASS IT ALONG
6.17.2008
You can't have him
And you can't have my unborn son or daughter either.
Can he have yours? Does he have yours?
In other news: Baracknophobia as defined by Jon Stewart!
R. Kelly Not Guilty Celebration Party!!!!
2NITE @ CHUCK E CHEESE
7pm - Until
Girls Free B4 9 w/ high school ID...
No Parents Please
After party hosted by Michael Jackson!!!!
7pm - Until
Girls Free B4 9 w/ high school ID...
No Parents Please
After party hosted by Michael Jackson!!!!
6.16.2008
So real talk...which will prolly go ignored, but hey I'll throw it out there.
For those of you who have gone to a psychologist/psychiatrist - what was the trigger that convinced you to go?
2008 Predictions
I'm going to predict that Osama Bin Laden will be found within 10 days of election day...by Bush himself personally, Chuck Norris style. Mark my words...and then pay me when I'm right.
6.15.2008
What are you thankful to your father for?
So my favorite message board - I threw this question out. The responses are rather surprising... (feel free to leave your own perspective in the comments)
1. nothing, my biological didn't bother
1a. answer I expect from 80% of Black folk
1b. You kinda high balled it, it's ONLY 70% (SunFresh)
2. Being good lookin
3. All he ever asked was that I set a goal and put in all the work I could.
4. my father is more like a little brother
5. so much
6. i could write a book about my dad but basically i love him
7. not a damn thing
8. for being there to provide a 2 earner income, thus statistically making it much more likely that I would graduate from
high school and not end up in prison/jail
9. For being a perfect example of everything a father and husband should be. Just about everything I know and have learned about being a great dad and a great husband I learned from the example put forth by my father
10. for teaching me to be frugal and make good decisions about money"
11. leaving me the hell alone...until this month
12. getting me the FUCK away from my mother
13. For reconciling with my Mother after literally 22 years of beef. They never got divorced because their respective piety didn't allow for that, but they would go months under the same roof without speaking to each other....well, last week they officially reconciled and are going to counseling.
14. For letting me cry when i needed to
15. for making me a fighter
16. He made me feel special and valuable
17, For caring when don't nobody else care.
18. so its father's day?
19. for encouraging me to be the best person i can be.
20. I ALWAYS felt loved by my father....
21. for showing me what it looks like
22. he put real fear in me of disrespecting seniority...not the most normal/happy of upbringings, but he did the best he knew how to and we're on okay terms these days
23. for signin those adoption papers
24. soo much,but to make it simple,I'm thankful that I know what to expect in a husband and and I'm thankful that he continually went/and still goes out of his way to make sure I have the best life possible.
25. 1) education 2) travel the world 3) pursue inner happiness
26. for liking the Simpsons
27. child support payments never came late
28. Fuck you, dad
AS for my thoughts on today. My thanks are all practical, as my father is a practical dude. The following song really doesn't summarize how I feel; although I wish it did.
Or if you are hurting today because your mother was the only father you knew, this song captures the pain pretty accurately:
If you don't have a father...embrace him as your father:
1. nothing, my biological didn't bother
1a. answer I expect from 80% of Black folk
1b. You kinda high balled it, it's ONLY 70% (SunFresh)
2. Being good lookin
3. All he ever asked was that I set a goal and put in all the work I could.
4. my father is more like a little brother
5. so much
6. i could write a book about my dad but basically i love him
7. not a damn thing
8. for being there to provide a 2 earner income, thus statistically making it much more likely that I would graduate from
high school and not end up in prison/jail
9. For being a perfect example of everything a father and husband should be. Just about everything I know and have learned about being a great dad and a great husband I learned from the example put forth by my father
10. for teaching me to be frugal and make good decisions about money"
11. leaving me the hell alone...until this month
12. getting me the FUCK away from my mother
13. For reconciling with my Mother after literally 22 years of beef. They never got divorced because their respective piety didn't allow for that, but they would go months under the same roof without speaking to each other....well, last week they officially reconciled and are going to counseling.
14. For letting me cry when i needed to
15. for making me a fighter
16. He made me feel special and valuable
17, For caring when don't nobody else care.
18. so its father's day?
19. for encouraging me to be the best person i can be.
20. I ALWAYS felt loved by my father....
21. for showing me what it looks like
22. he put real fear in me of disrespecting seniority...not the most normal/happy of upbringings, but he did the best he knew how to and we're on okay terms these days
23. for signin those adoption papers
24. soo much,but to make it simple,I'm thankful that I know what to expect in a husband and and I'm thankful that he continually went/and still goes out of his way to make sure I have the best life possible.
25. 1) education 2) travel the world 3) pursue inner happiness
26. for liking the Simpsons
27. child support payments never came late
28. Fuck you, dad
AS for my thoughts on today. My thanks are all practical, as my father is a practical dude. The following song really doesn't summarize how I feel; although I wish it did.
Or if you are hurting today because your mother was the only father you knew, this song captures the pain pretty accurately:
If you don't have a father...embrace him as your father:
Admission
I can be brash, I can be a bitch. For example, just the other night while out at a bar/lounge, this chic asked to put out a cigarette butt at my table. My response upon her puffing a few times before she put it out...Ummm, that's bad for your health, but more importantly mine.
At times, I have offensive thoughts and have reckless delivery of them. Especially on the internet where there are no faces to receive the thoughts...just screen names and or lurkers. One thing, I don't apologize for my thoughts, but I have got to be mindful of the delivery.
Lol - geez I'll probably end up being an ornery old lady. The type that says whatever comes to mind and I'll give you a daring look to respond to a frail lil' 80 year old lady.
errr okey dokey. apologies...I mean no harm.
At times, I have offensive thoughts and have reckless delivery of them. Especially on the internet where there are no faces to receive the thoughts...just screen names and or lurkers. One thing, I don't apologize for my thoughts, but I have got to be mindful of the delivery.
Lol - geez I'll probably end up being an ornery old lady. The type that says whatever comes to mind and I'll give you a daring look to respond to a frail lil' 80 year old lady.
errr okey dokey. apologies...I mean no harm.
Some stuff never changes
I find too much comfort in the internet at times. But I learn a lot from people and get alternative perspectives because strangers are much more willing to swap information than people you casually meet out and about. So there is a certain realism you get. Not saying that in real life people lie, but you're more likely to have a controversial conversation via the net than within the first couple of meetings with a person.
So one of my internet buddies hits me on IM - he was about to head out to his lady friend's house for the evening. Below is the following convo:
Buddy: my parents hate my guts for it...cuz of the whole skin color thing
SunFresh: thats a shame, so they're voting mccain?
Buddy: During the primary, my mom said only this. "you know who to vote for" which = clinton
SunFresh: i mean talkin politics people are entitled to their opinions; but, that's a sad reality tho' that they're tripping over who you fancy
Buddy: i mean like, my parents are pissed about the color of her skin...and that's it.
SunFresh: I can imagine that it is tough.
Buddy: how did you handle that?
SunFresh: You mean dating a white guy?
Buddy: yeah...or am i taking a guess
SunFresh: Lol, the last time I dated a white guy was middle school, i've been in the south so long
Buddy: i so don't believe you lol
SunFresh: they don't appraoch me, it's very divided down here; however, i'm open to it
Buddy: but what about when you went to PWI University?
SunFresh: still very divided
Buddy: meh...i thought my university was still like that when i met my girl
SunFresh: they'd flirt, but there was no seriousness to it
Buddy: i mean, if, lets say i saw you out. i'd've stepped to you and felt like there was no problem with it.
SunFresh: Lol, thanks. It's messed up but even my middle school boyfriend, who was white said that his mother was on some, "if you have children with this girl, our blood-line..."
Buddy: OMG....yo.....that's EXACTLY what i'm hearing
In case you didn't quite follow that...My buddy is a white guy that is crazy about a black woman. His parents pretty much reject him because he is in love with a black woman and are concerned that their blood line will be "ruined" (if you will) if he marries and has children with her. SERIOUSLY? I mean really, what is the fear that his parents hold? That their grandchildren won't be entitled to certain things? Might deal with discrimination? And really, I want to be a fly on the wall when the parent is having this conversation with their sun. Do they beat around the bush and imply that they are concerned about having a bi-racial grandchild or do they flat out say...we'd like to preserve the Aryan nation, do not taint the purity. Either way how selfish!
It's amazing that we can be on the brink of having a bi-racial president when there are people that think like this.
So one of my internet buddies hits me on IM - he was about to head out to his lady friend's house for the evening. Below is the following convo:
Buddy: my parents hate my guts for it...cuz of the whole skin color thing
SunFresh: thats a shame, so they're voting mccain?
Buddy: During the primary, my mom said only this. "you know who to vote for" which = clinton
SunFresh: i mean talkin politics people are entitled to their opinions; but, that's a sad reality tho' that they're tripping over who you fancy
Buddy: i mean like, my parents are pissed about the color of her skin...and that's it.
SunFresh: I can imagine that it is tough.
Buddy: how did you handle that?
SunFresh: You mean dating a white guy?
Buddy: yeah...or am i taking a guess
SunFresh: Lol, the last time I dated a white guy was middle school, i've been in the south so long
Buddy: i so don't believe you lol
SunFresh: they don't appraoch me, it's very divided down here; however, i'm open to it
Buddy: but what about when you went to PWI University?
SunFresh: still very divided
Buddy: meh...i thought my university was still like that when i met my girl
SunFresh: they'd flirt, but there was no seriousness to it
Buddy: i mean, if, lets say i saw you out. i'd've stepped to you and felt like there was no problem with it.
SunFresh: Lol, thanks. It's messed up but even my middle school boyfriend, who was white said that his mother was on some, "if you have children with this girl, our blood-line..."
Buddy: OMG....yo.....that's EXACTLY what i'm hearing
In case you didn't quite follow that...My buddy is a white guy that is crazy about a black woman. His parents pretty much reject him because he is in love with a black woman and are concerned that their blood line will be "ruined" (if you will) if he marries and has children with her. SERIOUSLY? I mean really, what is the fear that his parents hold? That their grandchildren won't be entitled to certain things? Might deal with discrimination? And really, I want to be a fly on the wall when the parent is having this conversation with their sun. Do they beat around the bush and imply that they are concerned about having a bi-racial grandchild or do they flat out say...we'd like to preserve the Aryan nation, do not taint the purity. Either way how selfish!
It's amazing that we can be on the brink of having a bi-racial president when there are people that think like this.
6.14.2008
Shameless Plug #2
I get uber excited when I meet people my age doing big things. So last night I went to a jazzy lil' spot which hosted a young woman's launching of her clothing line. The articles are simple and easy to wear, yet sexy. Plus I love her positivity. Beautiful women doing beautiful things :-)
Check her out at Speak Life
Check her out at Speak Life
6.13.2008
R.I.P. Tim Russert
Never have I cried like this over somebody I didn't know. You entertained me every Sunday morning. I felt connected with Grandma while watching you.
Honestly, I haven't cried like this over death since Grandma.
Shameless Plug
I'm so proud of my fellow alumn, even though we didn't really hang out, nor do we talk now. I absolutely enjoy the website of which she is the editor. Everything is so relevant. There are great links on her page. I liked the following articles and / or links. Please indulge yourself:
Black Women
Father's Day Good Read's for fathers
Her blogazine is my daily routine.
Black Women
Father's Day Good Read's for fathers
Her blogazine is my daily routine.
Funny Friday
Humor yourself for a second. Watch the following video on mute, but set it to the following lyrics a la 50 cents. (Works best when you set the video to mute, but play the offsetting song out loud).
Now, usually I'm not a fan of 50, but these lyrics are so ridiculous that I laugh and sing them in a Frank Sinatra voice.
This is a tribute to SunFresh & SunFresh brother's sense of humor. We would flip the TV to CSPAN, put it on mute then play Wu-Tang. The effect was that you had this stiff old people that appeared to be rapping hardcore lyrics about slangin' rocks in the inner streets of NYC.
I take quarter water sold it in bottles for 2 bucks,
Coca-Cola came and bought it
For billions, what the f**k?
Have a baby by me; baby
Be a millionaire
I write the check before the baby comes,
Who the f**k cares
Im stanky rich
Ima die tryna spend this sh*t
Southside's up in in this b*tch
Yeah i smell like the vault
I used to sell dope
I did play the block
Now i play on boats
In the south of France
Baby, St. Tropez
Get a tan? im already black
Rich? I'm already that
Now, usually I'm not a fan of 50, but these lyrics are so ridiculous that I laugh and sing them in a Frank Sinatra voice.
This is a tribute to SunFresh & SunFresh brother's sense of humor. We would flip the TV to CSPAN, put it on mute then play Wu-Tang. The effect was that you had this stiff old people that appeared to be rapping hardcore lyrics about slangin' rocks in the inner streets of NYC.
I take quarter water sold it in bottles for 2 bucks,
Coca-Cola came and bought it
For billions, what the f**k?
Have a baby by me; baby
Be a millionaire
I write the check before the baby comes,
Who the f**k cares
Im stanky rich
Ima die tryna spend this sh*t
Southside's up in in this b*tch
Yeah i smell like the vault
I used to sell dope
I did play the block
Now i play on boats
In the south of France
Baby, St. Tropez
Get a tan? im already black
Rich? I'm already that
6.12.2008
If your cup runneth over, I'm in need of a refill.
People are surprised when I talk about my relationship with God. I'm very cynical when it comes to religion, appreciate the Bible but wouldn't swear that every incident written actually happened, and am very open to learning about and accepting certain aspects of different religions (especially eastern ones, when was the last time you heard about a Bhuddist and Hindu killing each other in the name of their God?).
And I don't pretend to understand how God works. My concept of faith is accepting that I don't know - for example, I don't believe in Adam and Eve as it was written, but I don't believe in the "Big Bang" theory either. My faith leads me to believe that God created this place called earth and all on it - I don't care how, I don't care if I never know. All that matters is that we are here.
Me'shell Ndegeocello's lyrics on "Fellowship," summarize my concept of God:
You believe
Great god gonna come from the sky
Take away everything,
And make everybody feel high
But if you know what life is worth
You'll look for your's here on earth
. . . it's at hand
'cause if you believe that your god
Is better than another man
How you gonna end
All your suffering?
'cause if you believe that your god
Essentially, to me, God is the connection felt amongst all of God's creations (people, earth ect..) You could throw your hands up to the sky and "hope" for world peace...or you could donate time/money/effort to some cause that promotes it. The latter, IMO, is how a person actively connects to God.
So anywho - got a bit off subject. I'm not going to lie. 2008 has been one of my most miserable years EVER as an adult. I need turn around. Soo...if your cup runneth over with positivity, my cup needs a bit of filling!
And I don't pretend to understand how God works. My concept of faith is accepting that I don't know - for example, I don't believe in Adam and Eve as it was written, but I don't believe in the "Big Bang" theory either. My faith leads me to believe that God created this place called earth and all on it - I don't care how, I don't care if I never know. All that matters is that we are here.
Me'shell Ndegeocello's lyrics on "Fellowship," summarize my concept of God:
You believe
Great god gonna come from the sky
Take away everything,
And make everybody feel high
But if you know what life is worth
You'll look for your's here on earth
. . . it's at hand
'cause if you believe that your god
Is better than another man
How you gonna end
All your suffering?
'cause if you believe that your god
Essentially, to me, God is the connection felt amongst all of God's creations (people, earth ect..) You could throw your hands up to the sky and "hope" for world peace...or you could donate time/money/effort to some cause that promotes it. The latter, IMO, is how a person actively connects to God.
So anywho - got a bit off subject. I'm not going to lie. 2008 has been one of my most miserable years EVER as an adult. I need turn around. Soo...if your cup runneth over with positivity, my cup needs a bit of filling!
Faux News - STFU
They continue down this path of subtle racism (or perhaps it's rather blatent).
At first I read the byline regarding them calling Michelle Obama, Barack's Baby Mama, and was marginally annoyed. But then it started to eat at me.
Even if you aren't keen on Obama, you should take offense to this. She is no more a "baby mama," than Cindy McCain is a cunt (FYI I don't use this word, there is a post below in which the associates of J.McCain reported that he called his wife one, so I've been over-using it in that context).
Black women are constantly portrayed as good for nothings in media. Here we have a Ivy League educated woman, that is in what appears to be a loving relationship and has a beautiful family...and she is reduced to the name that is played out on Maury's show?
Times like this, I question...what can I, SunFresh, do to stop this? Any suggestions?
At first I read the byline regarding them calling Michelle Obama, Barack's Baby Mama, and was marginally annoyed. But then it started to eat at me.
Even if you aren't keen on Obama, you should take offense to this. She is no more a "baby mama," than Cindy McCain is a cunt (FYI I don't use this word, there is a post below in which the associates of J.McCain reported that he called his wife one, so I've been over-using it in that context).
Black women are constantly portrayed as good for nothings in media. Here we have a Ivy League educated woman, that is in what appears to be a loving relationship and has a beautiful family...and she is reduced to the name that is played out on Maury's show?
Times like this, I question...what can I, SunFresh, do to stop this? Any suggestions?
6.11.2008
Shits n' Giggles - 6/11
There are several passionate crazy people who are so upset about their Democratic hopeful losing that they'd up and either become Independent and not vote, or vote for McCain. Please sign the following pledge so that your fellow American's know where you stand on issues.
I thought Arianna Huffington's commentary on the issue was insightful. At least as it pertains to reproductive rights.
Or Tim Wise: Your Whiteness is Showing is prose that makes you think...REALLY disgruntled HRC supporters, what ARE you thinking? No, REALLY?
I thought Arianna Huffington's commentary on the issue was insightful. At least as it pertains to reproductive rights.
Or Tim Wise: Your Whiteness is Showing is prose that makes you think...REALLY disgruntled HRC supporters, what ARE you thinking? No, REALLY?
It doesn't matter
McCain is his own worst enemy. Today when he was asked when American troops could start returning home, he responded," No, but that's not too important. What's important is the casualties in Iraq"
Um, if your husbands/wives, brothers/sisters, fathers/mothers our troops remain in Iraq, how will they NOT be the casualties?
So apparently, he's OLD and doesn't know how to use a computer. WTF? They've been around for 20 years or so. I suppose, your C*NT of a wife is supposed to learn these things and be your secretary too?
Um, if
So apparently, he's OLD and doesn't know how to use a computer. WTF? They've been around for 20 years or so. I suppose, your C*NT of a wife is supposed to learn these things and be your secretary too?
6.10.2008
35 Articles of Impeachment
35 Articles of Impeachment
It's a pretty DRY read, but to summarize, Representative Kucinich, moved to impeach president G.W. Bush, based on 35 improper acts as president. Not 1....but 35. He covers everything from Iraq / Energy / Medicaid / Voting Rights etc.
I've never been a fan of C-SPAN, but I shit you not, I watched all 4 hours of his deliverance.
I respect Kucinich above any other representative at this point. Thank you, KucinichSo many people have resigned and/or keep on steaming along, knowing that they were lied to and/or mislead. Kucinich has declared that he does not accept being lied to and made a move do to the right thing, despite it being an unpopular move.
You've been HOSED
Again if your plan is to vote for McCain, please do enough research to ensure that he would not perpetuate these lies by keeping people close to him that are in the Bush Administration. Please ensure that you align with him on actionable issues, such as healthcare. Do not be spiteful that your candidate did not win and lay dormant and/or vote for McCain just because you like him as a person better than Obama. In doing so, you fail me...your fellow citizen. I've been lied to, those who represent me have been lied to...so PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE, at least do enough research on McCain to know that he will not continue to sell out to the those in power in the current republican party.
As a republican, you tend to be against taxes because you feel that if one profits, we all profit. So I guess it would make perfect sense to you as a republican (and Independent willing to vote for McCain) that the GOP blocked a bill that would have incresaed taxes on excessive profits made by the largest Oil Corporations.
It's a pretty DRY read, but to summarize, Representative Kucinich, moved to impeach president G.W. Bush, based on 35 improper acts as president. Not 1....but 35. He covers everything from Iraq / Energy / Medicaid / Voting Rights etc.
I've never been a fan of C-SPAN, but I shit you not, I watched all 4 hours of his deliverance.
I respect Kucinich above any other representative at this point. Thank you, KucinichSo many people have resigned and/or keep on steaming along, knowing that they were lied to and/or mislead. Kucinich has declared that he does not accept being lied to and made a move do to the right thing, despite it being an unpopular move.
You've been HOSED
Again if your plan is to vote for McCain, please do enough research to ensure that he would not perpetuate these lies by keeping people close to him that are in the Bush Administration. Please ensure that you align with him on actionable issues, such as healthcare. Do not be spiteful that your candidate did not win and lay dormant and/or vote for McCain just because you like him as a person better than Obama. In doing so, you fail me...your fellow citizen. I've been lied to, those who represent me have been lied to...so PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE, at least do enough research on McCain to know that he will not continue to sell out to the those in power in the current republican party.
As a republican, you tend to be against taxes because you feel that if one profits, we all profit. So I guess it would make perfect sense to you as a republican (and Independent willing to vote for McCain) that the GOP blocked a bill that would have incresaed taxes on excessive profits made by the largest Oil Corporations.
Tiers of Love
That's right, Tiers, not Tears.
Tier 1: Two people meet, are sold on love before they are sold on each other. They get married, get to know each other and realize that they actually don't like each other and divorce. (If 50% of marriages end in divorce, then I'd say approximately 50% of the people have this type of relationship).
Tier 2: Two people meet and have a solid companionship. Sometimes they are totally in love with each other, sometimes they are not. Their feeling of connectedness throughout the relationship ebs and flows. They function well together, could raise a family, but you rarely see them all googly eyed over each other. They love each other all the time, but aren't always in love with each other. However, on a really low trough in the relationship, they might decide to divorce. (I'd say that about 45% of marriages are like this).
Tier 3: Two people meet and are in love, and stay IN LOVE. They greet each other like the first time every time. They might even eb and flow a bit; however, it's not for prolonged period of times. And if there ever is a low trough, they stick it out because their love is that resiliant and strong. (I'd say about 5% of marriages are like this).
Translate into a dating world...I think folks expect Tier 3; when really according to the SunFresh Institution of Statistics, Tier 3 is only reserved for 5% of the population.
My mother often laughs when I complain about Mr. 2-Year man, "he's this but he isn't that." She is cynical (which cynicism is born out of truth) and is like, "NO man is perfect, so if you expect him to be, you be waiting for a LONG LONG time." I can honestly say that I've adjusted my expectations for men. NOTE that I said adjusted, not lowered. Men communicate differently and have a logic-based view of the world. (I'm using generalizaitons, this would be forever long if I put in every caveat). I can't expect for a man to communicate and understand me emotionally the same way that a friend would. A LOT of my frustration with Mr. 2-Year man has been that he doesn't understand me emotionally at times. Perhaps he's just not supposed to, and that would place us in Tier 2, instead of Tier 3. Which, quite honestly, I'd rather have a Tier 2 and start building a life with somebody now, than wait until I'm 40+ and find my 5% Tier 3.
Tier 1: Two people meet, are sold on love before they are sold on each other. They get married, get to know each other and realize that they actually don't like each other and divorce. (If 50% of marriages end in divorce, then I'd say approximately 50% of the people have this type of relationship).
Tier 2: Two people meet and have a solid companionship. Sometimes they are totally in love with each other, sometimes they are not. Their feeling of connectedness throughout the relationship ebs and flows. They function well together, could raise a family, but you rarely see them all googly eyed over each other. They love each other all the time, but aren't always in love with each other. However, on a really low trough in the relationship, they might decide to divorce. (I'd say that about 45% of marriages are like this).
Tier 3: Two people meet and are in love, and stay IN LOVE. They greet each other like the first time every time. They might even eb and flow a bit; however, it's not for prolonged period of times. And if there ever is a low trough, they stick it out because their love is that resiliant and strong. (I'd say about 5% of marriages are like this).
Translate into a dating world...I think folks expect Tier 3; when really according to the SunFresh Institution of Statistics, Tier 3 is only reserved for 5% of the population.
My mother often laughs when I complain about Mr. 2-Year man, "he's this but he isn't that." She is cynical (which cynicism is born out of truth) and is like, "NO man is perfect, so if you expect him to be, you be waiting for a LONG LONG time." I can honestly say that I've adjusted my expectations for men. NOTE that I said adjusted, not lowered. Men communicate differently and have a logic-based view of the world. (I'm using generalizaitons, this would be forever long if I put in every caveat). I can't expect for a man to communicate and understand me emotionally the same way that a friend would. A LOT of my frustration with Mr. 2-Year man has been that he doesn't understand me emotionally at times. Perhaps he's just not supposed to, and that would place us in Tier 2, instead of Tier 3. Which, quite honestly, I'd rather have a Tier 2 and start building a life with somebody now, than wait until I'm 40+ and find my 5% Tier 3.
6.08.2008
Perhpas I do have *issues*
So on one of my favorite message boards a girl posts a lighthearted subject.
"It's really not okay for a grown man to initiate footsie. i don't care how sexy you think your man feet are. i'll give exceptions for spooning/after sex situations, albeit hesitantly. but really, if you're on my couch watching a movie, and i am at the opposite end, don't reach your feet over to play coyly with mine. or put them in my lap. especially when i don't like you like that, nor have shown any signs to like you like that"
My initial response, "errr uhhh - why is a dude that you don't like 'like that' at your house on your couch with you alone? that's how chics get date raped."
And I was dead serious.
Of course this perspective comes from a personal situation in which I was physically assaulted (not raped, but I easily could have been). I was younger, thought it was cool to chill with a dude and not feel obligated to "put out." You could say that you should never feel obligated to put out. It's not about obligation - it's about if I send certain signals to you, I shant be surprised if you pick up on them and get a bit out of line. To me, a signal is calling you up and inviting you over in the evening on a weekend night.
So as a lesson learned, I have a personal rule...if I'm not open to doing something physically with you, there is NO reason for us to be alone, in the house, at night, watching a movie. That's what my girlfriends are for.
Lots of folks have told me to seek counseling b/c I have such a jaded view of men at times. But I'm like, this rule will NEVER change and I'm going to make it clear to my daughter - do not put yourself in a situation in which you could lose control of the situation. Sure some stuff is unavoidable. Perhaps I should teach her that men perceive action differently at times. I don't know what I'll really teach her. But I will not be comfortable her being alone with a man at night watching a movie that is twice her size and four times her strength with whom she has no desire to be physical with.
I toy with counseling over this issue cuz it permeates many aspects of my life and how I related to men. But errr - I just don't wanna *crosses arms like a 5 year old and pouts*
"It's really not okay for a grown man to initiate footsie. i don't care how sexy you think your man feet are. i'll give exceptions for spooning/after sex situations, albeit hesitantly. but really, if you're on my couch watching a movie, and i am at the opposite end, don't reach your feet over to play coyly with mine. or put them in my lap. especially when i don't like you like that, nor have shown any signs to like you like that"
My initial response, "errr uhhh - why is a dude that you don't like 'like that' at your house on your couch with you alone? that's how chics get date raped."
And I was dead serious.
Of course this perspective comes from a personal situation in which I was physically assaulted (not raped, but I easily could have been). I was younger, thought it was cool to chill with a dude and not feel obligated to "put out." You could say that you should never feel obligated to put out. It's not about obligation - it's about if I send certain signals to you, I shant be surprised if you pick up on them and get a bit out of line. To me, a signal is calling you up and inviting you over in the evening on a weekend night.
So as a lesson learned, I have a personal rule...if I'm not open to doing something physically with you, there is NO reason for us to be alone, in the house, at night, watching a movie. That's what my girlfriends are for.
Lots of folks have told me to seek counseling b/c I have such a jaded view of men at times. But I'm like, this rule will NEVER change and I'm going to make it clear to my daughter - do not put yourself in a situation in which you could lose control of the situation. Sure some stuff is unavoidable. Perhaps I should teach her that men perceive action differently at times. I don't know what I'll really teach her. But I will not be comfortable her being alone with a man at night watching a movie that is twice her size and four times her strength with whom she has no desire to be physical with.
I toy with counseling over this issue cuz it permeates many aspects of my life and how I related to men. But errr - I just don't wanna *crosses arms like a 5 year old and pouts*
6.07.2008
So apparently McCain's wife is a Trollop and a CUNT
According to McCain. I was parusing through blog world and saw a commentor mention this lil' reported fact.
Here is questioned by a reporter
Here is the story as reporting by Huffington Post
Trollup was a new word to me. According to Dictionary.com a trollop is a woman that sleeps with many men for money.
Umm - I think that endearing political fist bump trumps being called a trollop and cunt.
Please make sure to tell at least one person about this - as the media fails to take this and run with it.
Perhaps this is a non-issue...however, this tells you a LOT about a person's character. You are supposed to respect your wife above all other people (right?). If you disrespect your wife, I can't imagine what might come out of your mouth to some of these leaders of opposing nations. We need to reconcile, not further alienate the USA.
Here is questioned by a reporter
Here is the story as reporting by Huffington Post
Trollup was a new word to me. According to Dictionary.com a trollop is a woman that sleeps with many men for money.
Umm - I think that endearing political fist bump trumps being called a trollop and cunt.
Please make sure to tell at least one person about this - as the media fails to take this and run with it.
Perhaps this is a non-issue...however, this tells you a LOT about a person's character. You are supposed to respect your wife above all other people (right?). If you disrespect your wife, I can't imagine what might come out of your mouth to some of these leaders of opposing nations. We need to reconcile, not further alienate the USA.
Wanted to memorialize this...
Your lover kisses you and you feel a tremor in the back in your knees.
The synopsis fire, sending orders to move your legs...move your arms.
he's the one for you.
he's the man of your dreams.
he's your one and only.
And you know because the smell of him makes your head swim
Because you get a physical jolt
Everytime he sends a glance your way.
he touches you here [hand]
...and you feel it here [throb in the clit].
You touch him anywhere and
You feel it everywhere.
- Alice @ The L Word (cept the he's are she's and the him's are hers)
The synopsis fire, sending orders to move your legs...move your arms.
he's the one for you.
he's the man of your dreams.
he's your one and only.
And you know because the smell of him makes your head swim
Because you get a physical jolt
Everytime he sends a glance your way.
he touches you here [hand]
...and you feel it here [throb in the clit].
You touch him anywhere and
You feel it everywhere.
- Alice @ The L Word (cept the he's are she's and the him's are hers)
6.06.2008
Happy Day
Dr. just asked me to be her Maid of Honor. Hoooray. Dr. is my GIRL. Ride or Die. She's ALWAYS been there for me, even if she didn't agree with me. And same with me. There is no room for judgement because unconditional love exists.
So now, I'm onto planning the Bachelorette Party in none other than MIA!!!!
I've seen Dr. grow up so much in the past 8 years. She's matured into a lovely, loving young woman.
So now, I'm onto planning the Bachelorette Party in none other than MIA!!!!
I've seen Dr. grow up so much in the past 8 years. She's matured into a lovely, loving young woman.
6.05.2008
Nothing will be sacred...
I know you saw the picture of Michelle giving Obama dap. DAP, that's what WE call it. If you must ask WE who? both you and I have either lived very different lives, or perhaps you are from a different generation.
CNN now calls it the, "political fist bump." WTF. Naw, that was Michelle giving her man DAP before his acceptance speech. Some folks kiss, some folks hug, but apparently the Obama's give each other endearing DAP. That's something that is not foreign to US; however, it's now being exposed. It won't be long before you see two non-black WASP executives giving each other DAP upon the execution of a major contract.
I know you heard Anderson Cooper and Donna Brazille decipher if they were each other's BOO. While boo can be debated as to whether that's a derogatory and/or pathetic term to call your loved one, I always thought it had a simple cute ring to it. Matter of fact, my best work friend and I called each other, "work-boos." CNN also had a dissection of what the term Boo means.
I can say I've been at fault for sharing terms. Take for example bourgeois...or simply bougie. I said this around my all non-black co-workers and they were like, "huh...what is this bougie word that you speak of?" I thought EVERYBODY used that term, but apparently, that's something more common amongst US.
I'm not saying it's bad, I'm just concluding that endearing means of communication that are unique to the black American venacular are about to become mainstream with the Obama's in the spotlight.
CNN now calls it the, "political fist bump." WTF. Naw, that was Michelle giving her man DAP before his acceptance speech. Some folks kiss, some folks hug, but apparently the Obama's give each other endearing DAP. That's something that is not foreign to US; however, it's now being exposed. It won't be long before you see two non-black WASP executives giving each other DAP upon the execution of a major contract.
I know you heard Anderson Cooper and Donna Brazille decipher if they were each other's BOO. While boo can be debated as to whether that's a derogatory and/or pathetic term to call your loved one, I always thought it had a simple cute ring to it. Matter of fact, my best work friend and I called each other, "work-boos." CNN also had a dissection of what the term Boo means.
I can say I've been at fault for sharing terms. Take for example bourgeois...or simply bougie. I said this around my all non-black co-workers and they were like, "huh...what is this bougie word that you speak of?" I thought EVERYBODY used that term, but apparently, that's something more common amongst US.
I'm not saying it's bad, I'm just concluding that endearing means of communication that are unique to the black American venacular are about to become mainstream with the Obama's in the spotlight.
6.03.2008
Portia
Dear Grandma,
You never failed to write a card and send your love. Your birthday is coming up. I think of you quite often. There are several times when I tear up missing you. Every time I look at your daughter, my mother I see you. I look at my shape and thank you. My elbows are ashy right now, lol, if you were here, I am sure you'd comment and I'd run and get some lotion. And every time my bra strap shows, I tuck it away because I hear you telling me to. And I can sleep with the lights off because you gave me that sense of safety. That's actually quite profound now that I really think about that. The dark represents the unknown, you helped me to be fearless in the face of the unknown..in many more aspects of life. You taught me about love of people. You were the best conversationalist. You were the friendliest person...nobody was a stranger. Especially in Chester. You weren't wasteful at all...I still eat everything on my plate. And like you, I conserve paper towels, lol, if I just use them to dry my hands, I'll set it out to dry so that I can reuse it. When I'm too lazy to vacuum, sometimes I pick randoms off of the floor like you used to do. Sundays I wake up and I watch all of the Sunday morning news shows that you used to. And I've even come to appreciate and love my grandfather in a way that I believe that you think would be appropriate. I truly believe that he loved you. I live in your favorite city in the United States. You smelled wonderful, like Obsession mixed with spearmint gum. You are here with me in my hotel room right now, I am sure because you're presence is so overwhelmingly strong.
When I was coming of age, you told me what it means to be a democrat. You told me to always vote democrat. Did you ever think that your legacy would be alive to vote for a black democrat...for President?
Love,
Me
June 2, 2008
You never failed to write a card and send your love. Your birthday is coming up. I think of you quite often. There are several times when I tear up missing you. Every time I look at your daughter, my mother I see you. I look at my shape and thank you. My elbows are ashy right now, lol, if you were here, I am sure you'd comment and I'd run and get some lotion. And every time my bra strap shows, I tuck it away because I hear you telling me to. And I can sleep with the lights off because you gave me that sense of safety. That's actually quite profound now that I really think about that. The dark represents the unknown, you helped me to be fearless in the face of the unknown..in many more aspects of life. You taught me about love of people. You were the best conversationalist. You were the friendliest person...nobody was a stranger. Especially in Chester. You weren't wasteful at all...I still eat everything on my plate. And like you, I conserve paper towels, lol, if I just use them to dry my hands, I'll set it out to dry so that I can reuse it. When I'm too lazy to vacuum, sometimes I pick randoms off of the floor like you used to do. Sundays I wake up and I watch all of the Sunday morning news shows that you used to. And I've even come to appreciate and love my grandfather in a way that I believe that you think would be appropriate. I truly believe that he loved you. I live in your favorite city in the United States. You smelled wonderful, like Obsession mixed with spearmint gum. You are here with me in my hotel room right now, I am sure because you're presence is so overwhelmingly strong.
When I was coming of age, you told me what it means to be a democrat. You told me to always vote democrat. Did you ever think that your legacy would be alive to vote for a black democrat...for President?
Love,
Me
June 2, 2008
Where were you when Obama won the democratic nomination?
I was in Chili's in the Galleria Mall in Houston, Texas eating salmon, broccoli and rice. I called my best friend, my quasi-on-off-again boyfriend, and all of my family members.
Walking from the mall to the hotel, I told every random black person, "Obama just won the democratic nomination." They'd smile and sit a lil' taller.
I don't think people understand why this is monumental.
My grandmother remembers when her right to vote was reinforced (1963).
My father remembers when the schools in Durham, NC were desegregated (mid 1960s).
I remember being the ONLY black student in my elementary school in the 1980s.
NOW WE HAVE A BI-RACIAL (BLACK BY USA STANDARDS) PRESIDENTIAL NOMINEE.
*FAINT*
WATCHING THE SPEECH
He LOVES his family. You see how intimate the lil' dap it up between them was. She looked at him and thought, "My Man," (c) Jay-Z.
Stop stop stop stop. This is crazy crazy crazy. Wonderful wonderful wonderful.
Walking from the mall to the hotel, I told every random black person, "Obama just won the democratic nomination." They'd smile and sit a lil' taller.
I don't think people understand why this is monumental.
My grandmother remembers when her right to vote was reinforced (1963).
My father remembers when the schools in Durham, NC were desegregated (mid 1960s).
I remember being the ONLY black student in my elementary school in the 1980s.
NOW WE HAVE A BI-RACIAL (BLACK BY USA STANDARDS) PRESIDENTIAL NOMINEE.
*FAINT*
WATCHING THE SPEECH
He LOVES his family. You see how intimate the lil' dap it up between them was. She looked at him and thought, "My Man," (c) Jay-Z.
Stop stop stop stop. This is crazy crazy crazy. Wonderful wonderful wonderful.
5.31.2008
SEE SEX AND THE CITY
Best movie ever.
and there was even a tribute to Golden Girls...they named the new baby Rose.
This movie was better than most of the real life shit I see on these here innernets...it's about LOVE. Not that pretty shit that we see in fairy tales.
It's the love you have for a person even after they leave you alone at the alter.
It's the love you have for a person even after they cheat on you.
It's the love you have for a friend that has withheld information b/c they didn't know how to tell you their truth.
It's the love you have for a friend in their darkest, ugliest moments.
All too often do we leave people alone when they're down in the gutter. People...we need love. When somebody does you wrong...they need Mercy...the need Love. We don't treat others wrong because we hate them...we treat them wrong because we hate ourselves....Love is what a person needs most in their times of betrayal. Yes it's hard to give love when you feel like they don't deserve it...but LOVE (GOD) is what people NEED when they can't find the strength to love themselves...or you.
and there was even a tribute to Golden Girls...they named the new baby Rose.
This movie was better than most of the real life shit I see on these here innernets...it's about LOVE. Not that pretty shit that we see in fairy tales.
It's the love you have for a person even after they leave you alone at the alter.
It's the love you have for a person even after they cheat on you.
It's the love you have for a friend that has withheld information b/c they didn't know how to tell you their truth.
It's the love you have for a friend in their darkest, ugliest moments.
All too often do we leave people alone when they're down in the gutter. People...we need love. When somebody does you wrong...they need Mercy...the need Love. We don't treat others wrong because we hate them...we treat them wrong because we hate ourselves....Love is what a person needs most in their times of betrayal. Yes it's hard to give love when you feel like they don't deserve it...but LOVE (GOD) is what people NEED when they can't find the strength to love themselves...or you.
*teenage girl OMG squeal*
I feel bad, cuz my last post was all grown-up and serious...but OMG.... (edit - I changed the time of posting so that the SATC would come after this...figured, I'd end on a mature note for the night).
So I live in Ohio from kindergarden through 9th grade (10 years). My formative years were spent there. I got madd love for all my experiences that happened there. (even if I am a bit jaded and assimilated more than your average black person).
The class of 1999 high school graduation is being planned and on facebook, I've been able to reconnect to a handful of people.
With that being said. As a little girl I had the BIGGEST crush on this guy...we'll call him Trinidad. Why, because he was from Trinidad.
I don't know how you grew up, but to me there were essentially 4 races, and I didn't understand the concept of Globalization. Black, white yellow and brown. Quite honestly, not until 2008 did I understand that "West Indians" were called as such because a lot of Indians...from India...were transported to the islands. I just thought they were mixed african/european decent ending up in the darker skin with the silky hair.
So Trinidad - growing up I always thought he was black...black American. In my older age, I understand that good portion of people from Trinidad/Tobago trace their roots to India rather than Africa. So dude wasn't African-American or Black. He was "West Indian." Growing up in an all white town, he did as most did - assimilate and only like white girls.
So on facebook, I found him, sent a friend invite and a silly msg saying, "I moved away in '96, but you haven't changed a bit." He responded, "looking good girl, looks like you made it south, i still look like im young but im a grown ass man girl haha"
Seriously, I got up off the couch and did a happy girl dance. I am planning on going back. I might try to make the most of my elementary/middle school fantasies with the dude. He likes him some chocolate these days!!!! :-) Hoooray.
So I live in Ohio from kindergarden through 9th grade (10 years). My formative years were spent there. I got madd love for all my experiences that happened there. (even if I am a bit jaded and assimilated more than your average black person).
The class of 1999 high school graduation is being planned and on facebook, I've been able to reconnect to a handful of people.
With that being said. As a little girl I had the BIGGEST crush on this guy...we'll call him Trinidad. Why, because he was from Trinidad.
I don't know how you grew up, but to me there were essentially 4 races, and I didn't understand the concept of Globalization. Black, white yellow and brown. Quite honestly, not until 2008 did I understand that "West Indians" were called as such because a lot of Indians...from India...were transported to the islands. I just thought they were mixed african/european decent ending up in the darker skin with the silky hair.
So Trinidad - growing up I always thought he was black...black American. In my older age, I understand that good portion of people from Trinidad/Tobago trace their roots to India rather than Africa. So dude wasn't African-American or Black. He was "West Indian." Growing up in an all white town, he did as most did - assimilate and only like white girls.
So on facebook, I found him, sent a friend invite and a silly msg saying, "I moved away in '96, but you haven't changed a bit." He responded, "looking good girl, looks like you made it south, i still look like im young but im a grown ass man girl haha"
Seriously, I got up off the couch and did a happy girl dance. I am planning on going back. I might try to make the most of my elementary/middle school fantasies with the dude. He likes him some chocolate these days!!!! :-) Hoooray.
5.30.2008
Tipping Point
My team decides to take advantage of this slow, quiet Friday by taking an hour and a half lunch to eat at a local restaurant. Red offers to drive and she suggests that a smaller 3rd person ride with her in the MiniCooper. Me being the smallest person and HUNGRY says sure, I've never ridden in one...let's go.
On our lil' trip to the resaraunt, she mentions that her and her life partner are selling their jeep and are going to function with one car for at least a year. Her S/O drops her off at the bus stop that is a 10 minute walk from their house and she takes MARTA into work. MARTA IS SMARTA. At $4/gallon, this is SMART. This is truly a tipping point.
People kept guessing what the tipping point would be. When gas was at $2.99/gallon folks vowed to change their habits if it hit $3.50/gallon...but they didn't. They may have cut out a few joy-rides, but there was no drastic change. But selling a car and taking public transportation - that truly represents a tipping point. I wonder how long until I follow her lead. Or what else I will sacrifice so that I can afford my commute to work.
Seocnd - WHY OH WHY is there so much hoopla about Scott McKellen? Have folks not read The Assualt on Reason? Al Gore made the same claims. I suppose you wouldn't expect the truth to come from inside your house. Great leaders within G.Bush's administration started dropping like flies because they saw through the bullish and didn't want to be caught up in the legacy of lies. Perhaps we should be mad at them for being complacent when they knew Bush's lack of debate and reason was evident.
Third - I just saw news about Pakistan's government's involvment in Nuclear Weapon information and support of Iran/N. Korea. I got to thinking. If people were half as preoccupied with the threat that this could pose to America as they are about same-sex unions....oh nevermind, same-sex unions cause Nuclear Weapons. Like really, if in the next 5 years there was a nuclear assualt on US territory more catastrophic than that of 9/11, would the fact that two men got married REALLY be important? Perhaps in some folk's last breath they'd say..."but it was Adam and Eve....not Adam and Ste," ....flatline.
Fourth - Yea!!! Just signed up with a summer kickball league :-) Got to dust off my kickball skills. In all actuality, I'm quite excited / yet anxious to meet new people. The team is organized through the Alumni Association. I really haven't gotten to know my "Majority" Alumni in the area and my black Alumni organization doesn't do sports leagues. WTF - Why must we be so divided?
On our lil' trip to the resaraunt, she mentions that her and her life partner are selling their jeep and are going to function with one car for at least a year. Her S/O drops her off at the bus stop that is a 10 minute walk from their house and she takes MARTA into work. MARTA IS SMARTA. At $4/gallon, this is SMART. This is truly a tipping point.
People kept guessing what the tipping point would be. When gas was at $2.99/gallon folks vowed to change their habits if it hit $3.50/gallon...but they didn't. They may have cut out a few joy-rides, but there was no drastic change. But selling a car and taking public transportation - that truly represents a tipping point. I wonder how long until I follow her lead. Or what else I will sacrifice so that I can afford my commute to work.
Seocnd - WHY OH WHY is there so much hoopla about Scott McKellen? Have folks not read The Assualt on Reason? Al Gore made the same claims. I suppose you wouldn't expect the truth to come from inside your house. Great leaders within G.Bush's administration started dropping like flies because they saw through the bullish and didn't want to be caught up in the legacy of lies. Perhaps we should be mad at them for being complacent when they knew Bush's lack of debate and reason was evident.
Third - I just saw news about Pakistan's government's involvment in Nuclear Weapon information and support of Iran/N. Korea. I got to thinking. If people were half as preoccupied with the threat that this could pose to America as they are about same-sex unions....oh nevermind, same-sex unions cause Nuclear Weapons. Like really, if in the next 5 years there was a nuclear assualt on US territory more catastrophic than that of 9/11, would the fact that two men got married REALLY be important? Perhaps in some folk's last breath they'd say..."but it was Adam and Eve....not Adam and Ste," ....flatline.
Fourth - Yea!!! Just signed up with a summer kickball league :-) Got to dust off my kickball skills. In all actuality, I'm quite excited / yet anxious to meet new people. The team is organized through the Alumni Association. I really haven't gotten to know my "Majority" Alumni in the area and my black Alumni organization doesn't do sports leagues. WTF - Why must we be so divided?
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