Perhpas I do have *issues*

So on one of my favorite message boards a girl posts a lighthearted subject.

"It's really not okay for a grown man to initiate footsie. i don't care how sexy you think your man feet are. i'll give exceptions for spooning/after sex situations, albeit hesitantly. but really, if you're on my couch watching a movie, and i am at the opposite end, don't reach your feet over to play coyly with mine. or put them in my lap. especially when i don't like you like that, nor have shown any signs to like you like that"

My initial response, "errr uhhh - why is a dude that you don't like 'like that' at your house on your couch with you alone? that's how chics get date raped."

And I was dead serious.

Of course this perspective comes from a personal situation in which I was physically assaulted (not raped, but I easily could have been). I was younger, thought it was cool to chill with a dude and not feel obligated to "put out." You could say that you should never feel obligated to put out. It's not about obligation - it's about if I send certain signals to you, I shant be surprised if you pick up on them and get a bit out of line. To me, a signal is calling you up and inviting you over in the evening on a weekend night.

So as a lesson learned, I have a personal rule...if I'm not open to doing something physically with you, there is NO reason for us to be alone, in the house, at night, watching a movie. That's what my girlfriends are for.

Lots of folks have told me to seek counseling b/c I have such a jaded view of men at times. But I'm like, this rule will NEVER change and I'm going to make it clear to my daughter - do not put yourself in a situation in which you could lose control of the situation. Sure some stuff is unavoidable. Perhaps I should teach her that men perceive action differently at times. I don't know what I'll really teach her. But I will not be comfortable her being alone with a man at night watching a movie that is twice her size and four times her strength with whom she has no desire to be physical with.

I toy with counseling over this issue cuz it permeates many aspects of my life and how I related to men. But errr - I just don't wanna *crosses arms like a 5 year old and pouts*