So the other night after a work-out, I was in the grocery store. A young boy (couldn't have been older than 16) approaches me the same way a Mary K associate would (trying to sell something).
Kid with fixated smile: Excuse me Ma'am. How are you today?
SunFresh (buying Sunfresh Grapefruit): I'm good *blink, blink, blink*
Kid with fixated smile: What type of perfume do you wear?
SunFresh: I don't really wear perfume often. It gets me dizzy sometimes.
Kid with fixated smile: Oh, your more of a body spray/spritzer person
SunFresh: Nope, I'm more of a soap and deoderant person.
5.02.2008
Text Forwards....But I actually liked this one
I don't know why people think it's okay to use up valuable texts with forwarded information or advertisments. I suppose this is the wave of the future. Usually I delete forwards, especially when they start with "Daily" or "Thought for Today." But I got one that was/is applicable to me and I wanted to tattoo it on the blog so that I can reference it in the future...
"Share your life with those who share your vision. You will then avoid the mistake of spending major time with minor people."
Me likes that.
"Share your life with those who share your vision. You will then avoid the mistake of spending major time with minor people."
Me likes that.
5.01.2008
Family
I so love my family. My mom calls me all worried about me due to all crap that has happened to me this year. She knows how to put a smile on my face, or at least show how much she cares. Which sometimes, I don't even need a smile, I just need to know somebody cares. She'll even tell my brother or sister to give me a call to say hello. It's funny cuz I'll call them out, "Mom told you to call me, didn't she?" And they say...ha yeah...but it doesn't even matter. They are family, they call me because they love me.
And it totally works in reverse. The other day my mother mentioned something about my brother, I immediately put out a request to some people that I know. Today I got word to connect my brother so that he may get the opportunity that he is looking for. Out of all the people that I know in this world, I admire my brother the most. He's 6 years younger than me, but I've learned a lot about strength, humility and humor from him. Dude has charisma!
Ionno - at times, I lose faith in humanity...but my family...they are always there to lift my spirits and make me feel happy again.
And it totally works in reverse. The other day my mother mentioned something about my brother, I immediately put out a request to some people that I know. Today I got word to connect my brother so that he may get the opportunity that he is looking for. Out of all the people that I know in this world, I admire my brother the most. He's 6 years younger than me, but I've learned a lot about strength, humility and humor from him. Dude has charisma!
Ionno - at times, I lose faith in humanity...but my family...they are always there to lift my spirits and make me feel happy again.
Wright vs. Buchanan: Who sees race more clearly
There is no need for me to reiterate the words of Rev. Wright - the media has already inundated you with sound-bites, clips, etc. However, have you read and/or are you knowledgeable about the comments below that Buchanan has made (check yes or no). If you are not aware, that further goes to show the bias in media when it comes to matters of race. It's okay to show an angry black man, but not a mad (as in crazy) white man.
"First, America has been the best country on earth for Black folks. It was here that 600,000 Black people, brought from Africa in slave ships, grew into a community of 40 million, were introduced to Christian salvation, and reached the greatest levels of freedom and prosperity Blacks have ever known. Wright ought to go down on his knees and thank God he is an American. Is White America really responsible for the fact that the crime and incarceration rates for African-Americans are seven times those of White America?
Is it really White America’s fault that illegitimacy in the African-American community has hit 70 percent and the Black dropout rate from high schools in some cities has reached 50 percent? Is that the fault of White America or, first and foremost, a failure of the Black community itself?
As for racism, its ugliest manifestation is in interracial crime, and especially interracial crimes of violence.
Is Barack Obama aware that while White criminals choose Black victims 3 percent of the time, Black criminals choose White victims 45 percent of the time? Is Barack aware that Black-on-White rapes are 100 times more common than the reverse, that Black-on-White robberies were 139 times as common in the first three years of this decade as the reverse?
We have all heard ad nauseam from the Rev. Al about Tawana Brawley, the Duke rape case and Jena. And all turned out to be hoaxes. But about the epidemic of Black assaults on Whites that are real, we hear nothing.
Sorry, Barack, some of us have heard it all before, about 40 years and 40 trillion tax dollars ago!”
Tavis Smiley calls Buchanan a “racial arsonist.”
"First, America has been the best country on earth for Black folks. It was here that 600,000 Black people, brought from Africa in slave ships, grew into a community of 40 million, were introduced to Christian salvation, and reached the greatest levels of freedom and prosperity Blacks have ever known. Wright ought to go down on his knees and thank God he is an American. Is White America really responsible for the fact that the crime and incarceration rates for African-Americans are seven times those of White America?
Is it really White America’s fault that illegitimacy in the African-American community has hit 70 percent and the Black dropout rate from high schools in some cities has reached 50 percent? Is that the fault of White America or, first and foremost, a failure of the Black community itself?
As for racism, its ugliest manifestation is in interracial crime, and especially interracial crimes of violence.
Is Barack Obama aware that while White criminals choose Black victims 3 percent of the time, Black criminals choose White victims 45 percent of the time? Is Barack aware that Black-on-White rapes are 100 times more common than the reverse, that Black-on-White robberies were 139 times as common in the first three years of this decade as the reverse?
We have all heard ad nauseam from the Rev. Al about Tawana Brawley, the Duke rape case and Jena. And all turned out to be hoaxes. But about the epidemic of Black assaults on Whites that are real, we hear nothing.
Sorry, Barack, some of us have heard it all before, about 40 years and 40 trillion tax dollars ago!”
Tavis Smiley calls Buchanan a “racial arsonist.”
4.30.2008
Little Miss Ditzy
I'm passive agressive, so this question is for the assertive / agressive personalities...when somebody gets on your nerves, how do you tactfully and politely let them know to bug off?
I find myself getting short with this person because I wish they would leave me alone. They mean well so I don't have a basis to be the angry black woman...but they are genuinely getting on my nerves. To summarize, she constantly comes up with fruitless invitations to things..."Oh you should come to dinner with me n' so-n-so (from work) tonight, you should come to my roommates boyfriend's band, we should use our alternative travel benefit to take a weekend vacation together (I don't know you mannnn (c) Chris Tucker), we should, we should we should....But then when I ask her for details of something, for her to email directions and/or show up...*crickets chirp* Basically, she's just talking to talk and appear to be friendly/social; however she truly has no intention of genuinely extending a sincere invitation to me. So I'd just rather her not!
How do you shut a person down that seemingly means well, has their head in the clouds but just doesn't "get it." It'd be so much easier if she were mean!
4.29.2008
Swimming
In my adult life, I've been shocked at the # of people (black) that I have met that cannot swim. Now, I'm not expecting anybody to be an olympic swimming pro. Unless you do it for exercise, there is nothing fun about swimming laps in a pool.
But I love the ocean, *some pools,* and lake trips. Last summer on a lake trip a couple of the chics came with their hair pressed and curled and I was like errr - your just going to mess it up. "I don't swim." Huh? What's the point in going on a boat trip if you don't swim?
Growing up, I went to water parks, pools the ocean. Heck, recently I went snorkling. How lame my life might have been had I not known how to swim!
When I was dating ex, I told him that he had to learn how to swim (and/or tread water) before we had children. Why don't people feel one with water? If you can't swim, why haven't you learned? Do you plan to learn one day (presumably before you have children)? Or do you feel like you can avoid water like the plague for all of your life?
But I love the ocean, *some pools,* and lake trips. Last summer on a lake trip a couple of the chics came with their hair pressed and curled and I was like errr - your just going to mess it up. "I don't swim." Huh? What's the point in going on a boat trip if you don't swim?
Growing up, I went to water parks, pools the ocean. Heck, recently I went snorkling. How lame my life might have been had I not known how to swim!
When I was dating ex, I told him that he had to learn how to swim (and/or tread water) before we had children. Why don't people feel one with water? If you can't swim, why haven't you learned? Do you plan to learn one day (presumably before you have children)? Or do you feel like you can avoid water like the plague for all of your life?
And I wonder aloud...
If a friend-in-progress does something questionable (and by questionable, I mean something that if they did to you, you could not get over it or would cease the friendship based on that action alone) that has no bearing on your relationship with them....
do you continue to build your friendship with them?
Friend-in-progress = Somebody that you met recently. For all intents and purposes, you get along and have a good time. You don't necessarily confide in them about your more inner thoughts/feelings because vulnerability simply takes time.
I was thinking about a person I was never that fond of and challenged myself to think, "what did she ever do to you for you not to like her."
There were warning signals of character. She did some stuff that was totally unrelated to me that made me not trust her. That put the first wall up. Then from there, it was just a difference in personality... a difference that I didn't care to address or work out for the sake of others. It was fine for me to just make casual convo and not initiate and pursue the a true friendship.
do you continue to build your friendship with them?
Friend-in-progress = Somebody that you met recently. For all intents and purposes, you get along and have a good time. You don't necessarily confide in them about your more inner thoughts/feelings because vulnerability simply takes time.
I was thinking about a person I was never that fond of and challenged myself to think, "what did she ever do to you for you not to like her."
There were warning signals of character. She did some stuff that was totally unrelated to me that made me not trust her. That put the first wall up. Then from there, it was just a difference in personality... a difference that I didn't care to address or work out for the sake of others. It was fine for me to just make casual convo and not initiate and pursue the a true friendship.
I dare you to....
read this and not be offended.
I was offended yet slightly empathetic until I read, "Oh, and one more thing left to do, please get rid of the illiterate RAP music to completely rid the Dome of any reminder of the male and female apes that seek only to reproduce at an alarming rate. Let’s just let these folks continue to get elected as the leaders of the Atlanta City Government."
I was offended yet slightly empathetic until I read, "Oh, and one more thing left to do, please get rid of the illiterate RAP music to completely rid the Dome of any reminder of the male and female apes that seek only to reproduce at an alarming rate. Let’s just let these folks continue to get elected as the leaders of the Atlanta City Government."
Icky Age
I used to know the calculation for it. Something like, divide your current age in two and add 7. Or multiply your age by 2 and subtract 7. Well whatever, I can't truly find it, but after dating my ex, I vowed to not date anybody as old as him (he was 9 years my senior).
Well, the other day this guy gave me his card - I couldn't tell how old he was, you know black folks age very well. It was in a safe environment, an alumni event, so I figured he wasn't thaaat crazy. And I casually made it clear that I was 5 years removed from college, which put me at most 27 (as most people are 21 or 22 when they graduate from college).
So anywho, I take his card and look him up, he has owns a law firm. While that in itself is quite impressive...and he graduated from undergrad in 1990. Ya girl was 9 years old in 1990. Dude is like 40...13 years older than I am. Based on my last experience, my ex is single b/c he cannot communicate. Communication in an intimate relationship is akin to breathing air for life (for me). Granted, he could be divorced, but I'm weary of men that are that old and are single.
Well, the other day this guy gave me his card - I couldn't tell how old he was, you know black folks age very well. It was in a safe environment, an alumni event, so I figured he wasn't thaaat crazy. And I casually made it clear that I was 5 years removed from college, which put me at most 27 (as most people are 21 or 22 when they graduate from college).
So anywho, I take his card and look him up, he has owns a law firm. While that in itself is quite impressive...and he graduated from undergrad in 1990. Ya girl was 9 years old in 1990. Dude is like 40...13 years older than I am. Based on my last experience, my ex is single b/c he cannot communicate. Communication in an intimate relationship is akin to breathing air for life (for me). Granted, he could be divorced, but I'm weary of men that are that old and are single.
4.28.2008
Yeaaaa! Hawks > Celtics
Just came back from the game. I LOVE it when the underdog wins (and I live in the underdog city). Went with my gay-boyfriend. I suggest every straight girl get one!
4.27.2008
Hunger
I'm trying to keep this blog as impersonal as possible...but in all honesty that is not ME. I'm a open person, IF I sense that a person truly cares. Problem is that people most often don't care, or they want certain details about you to validate some asinine assumption that they've made about you. Or people only care when it's easy for them to care. (not very jesus like approach, but hey most people don't truly walk the path that they preach).
Human emotion is a very complex thing. If you frequent the Post Secret site, you'll find that we do some base things, but cover it up with a smile. Most people smile or put forth a very light-hearted persona - but feel a lot of pain, or have a deeply jaded, pessimistic view of the world. Makes it harder to decipher at first glance those that are truly happy and those that aren't. And you can even see that in my attempts to be as impersonal as possible on the blog, I place perspectives of stuff that I only care about in a 5 minute span of time. I don't lose sleep over the economic stimulus plan and what others plan to do with it.
I woke up this morning, realizing that yesterday I ate a total of 4 avocado and 4 white tuna small sushi rolls. And when I say small, they were probably between the size of a silver dollar and a quarter. And maybe some applesauce at 7:30 am. That is ALL. No snacks that I'm leaving out to exaggerate. I know that b/c I remember opening the fridge, looking around and thinking, I don't want anything in here.
I read a blog the other day about a black woman that had an eating disorder. *Pause - I think this terminology should be extended to anybody that allows their emotional status to trigger eating habits, which would encompass obese people as well.* Anywho - because black society covets body parts composed almost entirely of fat (ass and tittties, 'scuse the frank-frenchness), I don't believe that we are quite as *at risk* of eating disorders associated with underweight. And then as a people we seem to disregard the reality that heart disease, diabetes can be prevented in some instances. In my heart, I'm a proponent of all things healthy. However, I can't say I walk the talk.
Well, while I've officially never been diagnosed with an eating disorder - because quite frankly, I'm not underweight (I'm in the 'normal' BMI range)...I know I have a disability when it comes to a healthy eating habits (don't worry, my doctor knows). Yesterday, perhaps my physical hunger didn't move me to eat b/c it didn't quite exceed my emotional hunger pains. I'm a bore at the grocery store. While folks throw what looks good in the basket, I'll sit there agonizing over the calories. I probably eat things that others consider weird...(I've always loved tomatilla salsa, it has at most 1 gram of fat and 70 calories per serving. I put it on salads instead of fatty dressing or might warm it up and eat it with angel string pasta etc...)
I've identified two triggers that drive me from a conscious eating schedule to an arguably unhealthy one. I've always been 5'4" (since 5th grade). I was probably 135 lbs coming out of 5th grade, which put me in a junior size 10/12. The first time I remember being somewhat obsessed with what I ate was 7th grade. I dropped down to 110 lbs, which put me in a size 4, and made me look more like my peers. (I went to an all white school, I am UBER sensitive when it comes to debates about how media and/or outside influences effect people, especially in terms of how white images of beauty drive various social constructs about self-image). Emotionally, Iremember being overall happy. I had a super-cute boyfriend, was on the basketball team, made great grades, was on student council. Perhaps it was indirect negative reinforcement. I was an teetering on an unhealthy weight had piss poor eating habits, but GREAT things were happening to me.
Second time was college. Very similar circumstances as before. I had just been accepted to the competitive business program. I spent more time around people that I generally wouldn't choose to hang around (the majority of people in my class were white frat boys / sorority girls). Again, their standards of beauty were chics like jennifer aniston. I had gained my freshman 15...maxing out at about 132, but by my 3rd year when I was in the program, I went back down to about 115. I had a good campus job, was elected class rep, volunteered, made great grades, and was emerging as a leader in my elite business program. Again, I was teetering on an unhealthy weight and had piss poor eating habits, but GREAT things were happening to me.
Perhaps this conditioning has lead me to believe that I can induce GREAT things by dropping weight.
Okay - this was all over the place. And sure, folks can say "damn yo she needs therapy." Response, we all could benefit from it. The URL for this blog is thoughtful...it's a purge of my thoughts. Sure the internet is a public forum in which to share personal info. But on the flip side, having read that other blog on underweight problems, it touched me...and in turn perhaps my words will let somebody else know that she/he is not alone. I'm sure had I met that blogger in person - it would take years before we had that conversation. Why? because superficial relationships are safe and easy...vulnerability takes time.
BTW - I love Jenna Wolf on the today show. I'd love to hang with her. FUCK, I just learned that I won't be getting an economic stimulus check. Apparently I make too much *wait can somebody tell me if the cut-off is based on gross income or the AGI..there might be hope for me* Damn, there goes my extra vacation. (have to laugh at that statement, given that I'm mad about a missed vacation and there are families that direly need the money to feed their children...humble yourself SunFresh).
Human emotion is a very complex thing. If you frequent the Post Secret site, you'll find that we do some base things, but cover it up with a smile. Most people smile or put forth a very light-hearted persona - but feel a lot of pain, or have a deeply jaded, pessimistic view of the world. Makes it harder to decipher at first glance those that are truly happy and those that aren't. And you can even see that in my attempts to be as impersonal as possible on the blog, I place perspectives of stuff that I only care about in a 5 minute span of time. I don't lose sleep over the economic stimulus plan and what others plan to do with it.
I woke up this morning, realizing that yesterday I ate a total of 4 avocado and 4 white tuna small sushi rolls. And when I say small, they were probably between the size of a silver dollar and a quarter. And maybe some applesauce at 7:30 am. That is ALL. No snacks that I'm leaving out to exaggerate. I know that b/c I remember opening the fridge, looking around and thinking, I don't want anything in here.
I read a blog the other day about a black woman that had an eating disorder. *Pause - I think this terminology should be extended to anybody that allows their emotional status to trigger eating habits, which would encompass obese people as well.* Anywho - because black society covets body parts composed almost entirely of fat (ass and tittties, 'scuse the frank-frenchness), I don't believe that we are quite as *at risk* of eating disorders associated with underweight. And then as a people we seem to disregard the reality that heart disease, diabetes can be prevented in some instances. In my heart, I'm a proponent of all things healthy. However, I can't say I walk the talk.
Well, while I've officially never been diagnosed with an eating disorder - because quite frankly, I'm not underweight (I'm in the 'normal' BMI range)...I know I have a disability when it comes to a healthy eating habits (don't worry, my doctor knows). Yesterday, perhaps my physical hunger didn't move me to eat b/c it didn't quite exceed my emotional hunger pains. I'm a bore at the grocery store. While folks throw what looks good in the basket, I'll sit there agonizing over the calories. I probably eat things that others consider weird...(I've always loved tomatilla salsa, it has at most 1 gram of fat and 70 calories per serving. I put it on salads instead of fatty dressing or might warm it up and eat it with angel string pasta etc...)
I've identified two triggers that drive me from a conscious eating schedule to an arguably unhealthy one. I've always been 5'4" (since 5th grade). I was probably 135 lbs coming out of 5th grade, which put me in a junior size 10/12. The first time I remember being somewhat obsessed with what I ate was 7th grade. I dropped down to 110 lbs, which put me in a size 4, and made me look more like my peers. (I went to an all white school, I am UBER sensitive when it comes to debates about how media and/or outside influences effect people, especially in terms of how white images of beauty drive various social constructs about self-image). Emotionally, Iremember being overall happy. I had a super-cute boyfriend, was on the basketball team, made great grades, was on student council. Perhaps it was indirect negative reinforcement. I was an teetering on an unhealthy weight had piss poor eating habits, but GREAT things were happening to me.
Second time was college. Very similar circumstances as before. I had just been accepted to the competitive business program. I spent more time around people that I generally wouldn't choose to hang around (the majority of people in my class were white frat boys / sorority girls). Again, their standards of beauty were chics like jennifer aniston. I had gained my freshman 15...maxing out at about 132, but by my 3rd year when I was in the program, I went back down to about 115. I had a good campus job, was elected class rep, volunteered, made great grades, and was emerging as a leader in my elite business program. Again, I was teetering on an unhealthy weight and had piss poor eating habits, but GREAT things were happening to me.
Perhaps this conditioning has lead me to believe that I can induce GREAT things by dropping weight.
Okay - this was all over the place. And sure, folks can say "damn yo she needs therapy." Response, we all could benefit from it. The URL for this blog is thoughtful...it's a purge of my thoughts. Sure the internet is a public forum in which to share personal info. But on the flip side, having read that other blog on underweight problems, it touched me...and in turn perhaps my words will let somebody else know that she/he is not alone. I'm sure had I met that blogger in person - it would take years before we had that conversation. Why? because superficial relationships are safe and easy...vulnerability takes time.
BTW - I love Jenna Wolf on the today show. I'd love to hang with her. FUCK, I just learned that I won't be getting an economic stimulus check. Apparently I make too much *wait can somebody tell me if the cut-off is based on gross income or the AGI..there might be hope for me* Damn, there goes my extra vacation. (have to laugh at that statement, given that I'm mad about a missed vacation and there are families that direly need the money to feed their children...humble yourself SunFresh).
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