I'll expound upon this later. But quite frankly, I'm pretty anti-feminist. Not that I think that women shouldn't vote, but I do think that as we move into the work-world, we become less dependent on men, and less nurturing to children.
You can't possibly be *that* mother attending every recital, game ect if you are Ms. Executive who has an important deadline to meet every other week. You can't be the wife who is attentive when you come home after your husband and are already aggrivated from dealing with stingy ass men all day long.
Not that it can't be done. But it'd take an extra-ordinary Company and an extra-ordinary woman with extra-ordinary circumstances. For the common folks, it really is a continuum. And quite frankly, if we are to continue raising good people...somebody has to be nurturing our youth.
Edit #1: When I say Ms. Executive; I'm referring to a C-level person and/or a real mover/shaker in a Company. My background is primarily financial; so I'm not sure if other industries within large Company's work crazy hours (for example, I don't know what the hours are for VP-HR, General Counsel, VP-Marketing). I'm not talking to the Ms. Worker who works a 9-5 (give or take a few hours and crazy hours once in a blue moon). I'd expect that before you met dude you had to hold down a job so that you could shelter/feed/entertain yourself. But say I got married right now and had to take about 2 years off between having two kids. I would be okay with my status / income not growing over that 2 year period and being able to have flexible hours to attend to my childrens' needs first and my job/career's needs second. I've seen one too many women in high power positions put work first and then family. They are very successful women in terms of their career. However, that's not how I define success for me, as a woman. I can honestly say that I don't hold men to that same standard because I saw what my mom and dad did to support their family. He worked longer hours and because of it, got more recognition at work and excelled. He was successful in his role as my father because he brought home the extra $ that allowed me to participate in leagues ect, which my mother drove me to. Make sense? It's late. lol
3 comments:
I could go on and on, but I won't. This is your blog, not mine. Just one question (for now): What about the need for two incomes? It's been a reality in many homes across racial and cultural lines for years now and it's becoming a necessity in today's economy.
So how does your "anti-feminism" and your idea of a good wife and mother fit into the economic realities that many families face?
There is a big difference between being Mrs. 9-5 and occasionally staying late vs. Mrs. 7a-9p or Mrs. work 70 hours a week.
And in Corporate America, those are realistic hours that one may have to put in to stand out as an executive. I might have a jaded view, given that my prior industry was public accounting where we worked 60+ hour weeks for 3 months and were told NOT to take vacations btwn Jan-March. The women that were "my examples," either waited til they were 35 to START families and still had to take on a reduced work-load to be nurturing mothers, or had children who they were never around (cuz I spent more time with them during the week AND on the weekend to know that as a fact).
Seriously, if I were married and had a child, I'd be satisfied with my salary and status because it would give me the freedom to be a hands-on mother. However, I'm a single woman, so why wouldn't I work 60+ hour weeks to stay as competitive as my male counter-parts?
I'm glad I have "options;" however, now that I've accomplished quite a bit in my career and am on cruise control...the ONLY thing that is lacking is a family to share this experience with.
@ bourgie - I disagree that there is a "need" for two incomes for a large portion of the middle class. Couples don't have twice the expenses of single people so there is no true need for that second income. Rent doesn't double just because you get married.
The problem is that many people think dual incomes and upgrade their lives so that it takes up both incomes.
I know many families (as in two parents and two or more kids) who survive just fine on one income. Of course just fine doesn't mean two luxury cars in the garage, plasma TVs and fabulous vacations. It means older paid for cars, etc.
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