So many moons ago I agreed to go a date with this one guy, we'll call him Java. I wasn't completely attracted to him; however, he cleaned up nicely and his conversation was engaging. He was perhaps the first guy that I went on a date with after I broke up with THE EX. We had a really nice time; however, I was still in love with the EX and once I realized this I more less cut-off communication with Java.
I ran into Java when I was out with a few girlfriends. He approached and said something to the effect of, "Hello stranger." My girls beckoned for an explanation. I told them that we went out on a date. They giggled, looking at him being less than 6 feet tall, and a bit of this that and the other. Because I valued their opinions a bit way too much, I joined in on the giggling.
Fast forward current times. Well, Java found me on facebook. He's rather aggressive...or rather assertive. I've been hanging out with him a little bit. Nothing too heavy or nothing to write-home about; however, I will say that I genuinely enjoy his company. And to think, I had let the girls that are still single and continue to be single to influence my perception of him. He wasn't the physical prototype per se; however, WHO THE FUCK IS?
I'm glad that I met him second time around when I am no longer dealing with that group of women. I've grown a lot and learned a lot from that experience (which I will say time and time again). I do have a mind of my own; however, I admit to insecurities at times. Sure I want to walk down the street with a man that people sit back and think, "wow they're an attractive couple." I think they played into that insecurity. I suppose that I fell into the trap of being an insecure single woman instead of a secure single woman. I choose the later.
Really it only matters that I find the person attractive. And for me, attraction prevails only after I see a person's inner spirit. I don't care that he's a little shorter than the desired standard, 'talks white,' or dresses in button ups and khakis all the time...he stimulates my brain and makes me feel beautiful.
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2 comments:
If people's comments are important which would you prefer to hear a. what an attractive couple or b. they look so in love and happy it radiates from within? I've seen some good looking but emotionally empty or abusive couples.
I agree - I just think for a while I fed into the hype. Dude must be *this big, this tall, this rich, this that this that."
Now that I have a bit more solidarity I don't have much chitter chatter in my ears. I now understand why they say meditation is powerful. In silence, the truth reveals itself.
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