Cruise

We board around 12:30...and go straight to the pool deck because our room and luggage weren't quite ready. I notice two other black females about my age and make small talk. One is very friendly, the other is less than friendly. Nonetheless, we mainly kept to ourselves and enjoyed the sun. The first day was mainly laid back, I went to the casino, blew $30 bucks and had a good time while doing so. Drank my fair share of vodka tonics and just relaxed. I did go to the ship club. Initially they were playing 70s/80s music which I love, but I wasn't quite in the mood to dance to it. This OLD (65+) white man sits next down next to me. He speaks with a English accent and tells me he's from Welsh. He was very condescending, he would've fared better had he been a professor and we were in a classroom setting. Shortly thereafter a black dude sits down next to me. *PAUSE - CONCEPT OF PLATONIC FRIENDSHIP....WORKS FOR SOME WOMEN, DOESN'T WORK FOR ME." I figure, cool I can have a FRIEND for the cruise, so I'm not flirty, I'm nice and when a good song comes on, I immediately jump up to go dance and tell him to save my seat. He doesn't dance, all he does is [THIS]. We'll call him BM#1.

Well, I'm enjoying the music...now one thing folks don't initially see when they see me is a woman that likes to dance and who can dance. I stay on the dancefloor and this other black dude comes up to me and starts imitating my dances. He says he's 33, but he looks and is acting more like a 21 year old. But he's harmless and cool. I'm dancing my HEART out...giving Shakira a run for her hip action and enjoying the attention. I do find it funny how competitive black women are in general. There was another black woman on the cruise who was very attractive and as I danced, she'd come like right next to me and flick her hair around as she danced. I looked up to smile as if to say - dance your heart out girl. She just gave me a blank look. Hmmmpph. The entire cruise she didn't acknowledge my presence. Call me old school, but when my family was one of the ONLY black families in our small-town Ohio, we'd smile at another black family in passing. It was to acknowledge their presence, show joy that we weren't the only ones, and to empathize. All of that in a simple smile-nod. Perhaps times have changed and I haven't.

After a while, I break a sweat and decide that I just want to sit and breathe. I see BM#1 and get up and ask him if he was having a good time. Again making small talk. I tell him that I'm bout to head in for the night. He tries to entice me with some late night conversation, but I didn't know him enough to know that he wasn't a rapist and I was plum tired. So he does offer to walk me back to my room, which I accept. We have small talk, he asks what I'm doing tomorrow. I say hanging out in key west, and that I was sure that I would see him tomorrow. I smile and give him the type of hug you give a cousin (ass out) and say goodnight, see you around tomorrow. So skipping to the next time I encounter BM#1...the next night I simply didn't have the energy to go out again. So I went to bed. I wake up around 3:50 to go to the bathroom and my phone rings. Given that I'm on a cruise and not expecting any calls, I assume a call at 3:50 is an emergency of some sort...so I answer.
Me: Hello?
3:50 Voice: Hello, Uhh I think I have the wrong number...who is this?
Me: Uhhh, You called me, who is this?
3:50 Voice: This is BM#1, is this SunFresh?
Me: Yes. What time is it?
BM#1: Hey baby, it's late, or it's early. Where were you baby. I was looking for you tonight baby.
Me: I was tired, so I went to bed.
BM#1: But I was looking for you baby.
Me: Umm, I'm tired, I'm going to bed.

My Internal Thoughts: WTF, are you serious? First you call me at 4-effin-AM. Then you call me BABY as if I we had some type of special moment and fell in love last night. WTF did I miss? Whateverthehell, I'm going to bed.

Key West: This was a VERY laid back place. I do a bit of great shopping, have a margarita at Margaritaville, take a picture at the southernmost tip in the USA. Oh, and most importantly, I took pictures of the wild chickens! The day was short, we docked 7-2. So there wasn't thaaaat much time to enjoy key west. I do think that one day I might want to go for a few nights. (Went back on the boat, laid out, sipped drinks, ate wayy too much and fell asleep...this is the night that crazy BM#1 called).

Cozumel. This was awesome. We went kayaking and snorkeling. Crazy man #2 - the Kayaking trip consisted of we, 2 small families, a group of 8 sixteen year old girls and an older white guy that was by himself. The kayaking trip was a challenge for me b/c I had never done it, and on top of that b/c I was lighter, I was in front and the front person is supposed to be the leader. We kayaked probably the length of 3/4 of a mile. Clearly I was the worst out there; however, it was fun and I know how to laugh at myself. At the end of it, I had noticed that the single dude was pretty good and had the water shoes. So I asked him if he kayaked often. He told me that he did and where and this that and the other. We go sit on sun-chairs and he sits down next to us and tells us all about his job and how he's recently divorced and came on the cruise instead of disney world. I could clearly tell that he was more lonely than anything, and I above all people can appreciate being lonely. But I deal by becoming more introverted and keeping to myself...he was total opposite. And almost turned into stalker. Later that evening he ran into us and followed us around. He told us how he saw our pictures and how good I looked. He even followed me over to the hip-hop bar. He followed us around like a sad puppy. The next day he stopped by to say one sentence to us that was somewhat out of context at least 3 times. I gave him no indication that I was interested. Since when did a bit of conversation and a smile indicate that I want you?

Back to Cozumel...after the kayaking and snorkling we did a bit of shopping. And then stopped in an open bar that looked like a load of fun...cuz it WAS. There were fun lil' $shots, huge margaritas, a congo line and a bit of dancing. Sooo much fun. The waitor had a thing for me.

The Indian men were crazy over Cocoa..probably because on formal night, she wore a beautiful Sari. HIlarious, she tried to wrap it herself the first time and this Indian photographer was like uhhh, that's not how my mother or sister wear it. There was an Indian woman at the Info Desk who wrapped it. She did an amazing job and Cocoa looked fabulous.

It was a much needed vacation. The equilibrium in my ears is still floating with the rhythm of the waves :-( And I'm back to reality and coping with a bit of depression. I believe that this will pass, as do all bad/good times. But it's hard for me to envision a positive future and not look to God with a furrowed eyebrow. The scariest thing is that I've lost faith again in the general good of people.