Honor, Integrity and Respect

Words of the week. We all get the textbook definition of them; however, it's much harder to practice than to define at times.

I can honestly say that I've been struggling with these qualities lately. Not because I'm a base or bad person, but because I'm non-confrontational and have a desire to go with the flow. Plus I tend to vent on these here internets...which at times gives you false sense of privacy amongst strangers. As they say at disney..it's a small world after all.

There are two recent situations in which I avoided and/or did not express my true thoughts (thus not demonstrating honor, integrity and respect).

So upon self-epiphanies...the logical next step is to move away from what you feel you are lacking. First question...why am I non-confrontational and/or like to go with the flow?

At times I associate these qualities with "bitchiness." For example, if you are doing something that I don't like, but isn't detrimental to me or others, rather than telling you, I'll just avoid you. I could call you out for this "thing" that you're doing, but I might feel like I'm being -nit-picky and bitchy.

Often times the right decisions/actions don't FEEL good. For example, instead telling you what I didn't care for but wasn't detrimental, I might vent to another person, because I find relief in getting it off my chest.

Often times I perceive that the assumed consequences of confrontation are worse than non-confrontation. For example if I think telling you XYZ might damage or distort an otherwise comfortable situation, I might opt to do nothing.

But ohhh the conundrum - sometimes it's hard to confront people you don't care much for...like at work, ditzy chic did a LOT of annoying stuff, but it took a VERY drastic situation for me to confront her. I would've let her slide on quite a bit b/c while it's annoying it doesn't affect my working situation and my job values her. So instead I just avoid her and try to distance. While this situation isn't quite what I'm having my epiphany over - it's very representative of the situations that got me to this epiphany.

And don't think your immune. We all have times when we get out of line...but it's more about how you recognize your wrong and go about making a right.

Ehh - this post was more for me to really think things out.