Phone Number: A story about SunFresh hanging up on a 48 yr old

If I'm in a bar and have decent conversation with a fellow, I may give my number to the fellow. Chances are I might have had a drink and been in a merry mood. For whatever reasons, I'm not really the type of woman to give out a fake number or say, "you know what I enjoyed our convo; however, I'm not interested in having a future conversation with you." So I may give my # out. Sometimes this leads to something, sometimes it doesn't.

This happened about 2 months ago. I was at an establishment and a guy was nice engaged me in conversation. It was entertaining, nothing too deep. He asked for my number. I gave it to him.

He texted, I gave short replies or ignored. Over a two month period, I didn't give much at all. (Me - I will not invest in unrequited attention from strangers)

So today he texts, "R u still not responding to me? did I do something wrong?" This struck me as sincere and deserving of a truthful answer. So my reply was, "No I just have an ex who I can't shake and I don't have the energy to maintain new relationships (friendships w/ guys who eventually want more or just want sex) until I figure out to do with my current situation. He responds, "That's the first time you said something of substance to me. Communication is important and I understand. Can I speak to you for a minute?"

Pause: We met at a bar and talked about him being from Durham, NC. Did that constitute a responsibility on my behalf to have open communication? He was a stranger dude, I owe him nothing.

Resume: My dumb ass calls him back. And I again reiterate my situation. I am a person that can admit her faults. In terms of relationships, I'm not in a position to start a new one. I'm still hurt, confused, and too unreliable to offer anything positive to a sustainable relationship. My admition of that should serve as a red flag to stay away from me. When I am ready to jump back into the dating game, sure I might wear a few battle scars, but I'll be open to being vulnerable and getting to know somebody.

Furthermore, a guy can try to disguise his interest as 'only friendship,' but I don't buy that because men don't approach women that they find unattractive and request friendship. They request at least one opportunity to prove that they are worthy of a bedroom visit. (This doesn't apply to men you meet through your social circle, it more so applies to a situation in which you dress up to go out and are approached by a random stranger).

Okay, back to the conversation with dude. He asks how old I think he is. I say at least 7 years older than me. I thought he was about 35 give or take 3 years on either side. Boy was I wrong...dude was 48. WTF. When he found out that I was 20 years younger than him, he should've gladly felt okay with my rejection. At that point, I was sized him up as a man not interested in being in a committed relationship that would lead to a life-long love of his wife and children. Especially if he is trying to spit game to a 27 year old. He goes on some preachy condescending mode. Now that he asserted his age, he felt as if he was some fatherly figure...or rather creepy molester old man figure. He talks about how I need to heal, (no shit sherlock, I just told you that I know I need to heal). He wasn't telling me anything that I haven't told myself or a true fried hasn't opened my mind to consider. He continued to try to convince me that I needed him in my life. Dude...I'm good on that.

One thing that I've learned is that I have to make no apologies to others for who I am. If I'm having a bad day, as long as I don't cuss you out...if I need to take time for me...I need not make apologies. I might need to explain, but SORRY doesn't have to be a part of my vocabulary. So when a stranger comes at me trying to make me feel bad about what I'm going through and who I am...that doesn't fair well with me. So here I am, talking to a 48 year old stranger telling him that I'd rather not have this conversation and he says, "well fine, be young & hang up."

*Looks into camera* Did I not just tell this man my truths? That I was too insecure in my vulnerability to be open to a new relationship. If my admission of my truth is young to him, so be it.

So I said, well okay, take care. And hung up on a 48 year old man.

UPDATE (9:30 pm): I received the following text: I hope things work out for you! I'm really sincere.

*Looks into camera* The second you tag a sentence with, "I'm really sincere," I stop taking you seriously.