Peeps head out

I'm alive and okay! Thanksgiving was exactly that...I was SO VERY thankful for being home and having to not take care of myself. Single folks...sometimes (I think) we get tired of taking care of ourselves. And not everybody is like me. I'm *JUST* learning to be comfortable relying upon people that I'm getting to know. So it's EXTREMELY difficult for me to ask for help when I need it. Things that are almost mindlessly easy to do when in a relationship become a manuvering way around the world. Simple sh*t...like getting to and from the airport. In a big city during the holidays - it's a nussance. Anywho, at home, I don't need to think twice about how, what, where, who. Everything is taken care of. That's how I know ATL is not home, nor will it ever be...probably.

With a simple hello and a wine drenched conversation - I felt at home in a person. The smile, the 'Luther Curl," lol...I'll stop there.

Oddly, I felt more distant from my family than I wanted to. But they know I love them dearly and I know they love me dearly, even if we don't always express it the way we think that we should. The poor family dog is deteriorating at a fast pace. We went to the beach on Christmas Day. Me bro n' Paco. I dipped my fingers in the Atlantic several times, I tried failed at learning to skip rocks. I chased the waves...and won all but once...then my shoes were soaked with COLD ocean water.

I relentless ignored texts, calls, e-mails from him. I hate that there is an ounce of feeling left in me; but I KNOW that ME is #1.

I saw my Alma Mater lose to the craptastic team. Ehh - what can you do? I got to drive my favorite route in all of America...or maybe the east coast(64). The water, the trees, the hills/mountains. The girl who first drove that trip in 1999 transformed (or evolved?) into a different young woman when she departed in 2003. Everytime I drive that short route I feel nostalgic, relaxed and comforted.

I gotta work out. Shit.

I'm back in another city. The hotel folks know me by name/smile. Unfortunately due to fucktard circumstances, I feel more comfortable at a hotel.